NovelEnglish
Chapter 0188
What I felt was more than arousal. It was something else. Something much more potent.
“Get you F***ing hands off me” she shrieks but I still don’t let her go. Instead I press closer
to her while
being mindful of her baby bump.
She tries to push me away, but I’m solid. She can’t move me. Not only because I was
stronger than her, but because I couldn’t pull myself off her even if I’d wanted. She felt
perfect in my arms. I could stay with
her like this forever.
“Not a chance, Ava. Why would I when this is exactly where I want you? You’re mine”
“What the hell are you talking about? I’m not yours. I’ve never been yours. Now let me go
before Noah
finds us like this and thinks we are getting back together”
“Noah will be happy. About the other thing, you will always be mine and I won’t let you
whore yourself to other men when you F***ing belong to me”
Her eyes twitches. Fire burning inside her brown orbs. I don’t see her hand move. The
punch comes as a
surprise, so because of the shock I release her. 1
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇt
“Whoring myself? First of all, I was a F***ing virgin when we slept together for the first
time in case you’ve forgotten. Second, I can F*** whoever I want. I am a free woman and
nothing is holding me back from sleeping with men who actually want me. Men who aren’t
thinking of the love of their F***ing life while they’re buried deep inside me
I knew those words were going to come back to bite me in the F***ing ass.
“Ava…”
“No! What the hell do you want Rowan? Because I just don’t get it. You yourself told me
that you slept with me while imagining Emma. You told I was just an object for scratching
an itch. That I would never be the woman you want, so what the hell are you doing here?
Why won’t you leave me the hell alone?”
i I
There are so many things I want to tell her. To explain to her. The words instead get stuck
in my throat. I don’t know how to express my feelings to her.
do want you, Ava. So F***ing much” my voice turns soft and it shocks both of us,
Why now? We were married for nine years. Nine F***ing years How then can you be this
this” she struggles to find the right word.
This what?
Interested. How can you all of a sudden be interested in me when you’ve ignored me for
the entire length.
of our marriage? It’s just not making any sense.”
She had me there, but how can I explain something that I didn’t understand myself? I
don’t know where
my feelings came from or when they came to be.
“Is it too difficult to accept that I want you?” I ask instead.
Yes it is! You’ve hated me for so long, so yes, it’s hard to believe that you are now
attracted to me. It
seems so farfetched.”
The words were on the
were on the tip on my words. The name of the emotion I’ve been trying to figure out. The
feeling I have for her.
“Please leave Rowan. You’re just confused. Even if you are attracted to me, it doesn’t
mean anything.“1
“It means something. It means we have something to work with” I insist almost to the
point of begging.
“No it doesn’t. Not when I can still clearly hear your voice in my head telling me that you
were using my b*dy as a substitute for Emma’s”
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏmI want to say more, but I know that she already has enough of me. She was already
drained and I was
making things worse for her. 1
“Okay then, I’ll leave for now. Please just call Noah for me so I can say goodbye”
She nods her head and goes to call our son. Noah comes back, but Ava doesn’t. Ignoring
the questioning look on his face, I tell him good bye before leaving. I make sure he’s
locked the door before driving away.
This wasn’t over. Not by a long shot. I wasn’t going to give up on her that easily.
It was as I was driving that the realization hit me. I had to pull over so that I don’t get into
an accident as
the gravity of everything hit me. 1
My heart almost collapses in itself, as I’m finally able to name the feeling I have for Ava.
The feeling I was too blind to realize what exactly it is.
Love.
Fuck. I love Ava.
That realizations comes with fear and crashing gullt. I all but destroyed her heart. I F***ing
killed the love. she had for me. How the hell was I going to fix that?
I was a dumb shit. I F***ing love her, but would she ever believe me or even give me a
chance?
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