NovelEnglish
Chapter 0175
Ava.
“W–what?” I stammer, looking at Rowan in complete shock.
I couldn’t have heard him correctly. The Rowan I knew would have done anything for
Emma, Including
sacrificing me.
My heart beats wildly as I stare at his blank face.
I
“You heard me, Ava” he repeats. No trace of lying in his voice. “If it had to come to it, I
would have gladly
let her die if it meant saving you”
I
At first I thought that he’d lied so I wouldn’t feel bad. After all, who likes knowing that the
man she spent almost a decade with would gladly save another woman?
I thought he was saying that just to spare my feelings. Looking at his face though, I realize
that he was telling the truth. It was written on his face and in his eyes. Besides, when has
Rowan ever spared my feelings? He’s never shied away from telling how it is so why would
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇthe start lying now?
I release a deep breath and untangle my hands from his. It felt too intimate. I already had
so much thoughts dancing in my head. I didn’t need his warm hands confusing me more.
“You don’t mean that I tell him after a while. “Emma is the woman you’ve loved since the
first time you realized what love is. You’ve been in love with her for so many years, how
then can you so casually say you would sacrifice her for my sake?”
His brows draw into a frown. He goes to speak, but I interrupt him.
“I’m the one that has meant nothing to you from the start. Remember? You hate me
Rowan. You’ve hated me for years, so what the hell is going on? How can you just decide
one day that I’m more important than your precious Emma? Something is just not adding
up. You just can’t unhate me all of a sudden”
I fall back on the pillow in exhaustion. I knew what I said was the damn truth. There is just
no way all the hate, resentment and bitterness he has had for me for the past nine years
disappeared into thin air.
You just don’t wake up one day a brand new person. Intense feelings are hard to get rid of.
Hard to bury. I should know that. Didn’t I struggle with trying to kill and bury the love I had
for Rowan? Sure I managed to mask it, but it was still there. And I knew it would take a
long time before I finally rid myself of it.
Ava
He goes to say something, but I am just done. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want him to
make
hated and despised me.
I know some might wonder why I would want such a thing, right? After all, isn’t this what
I’ve always. wanted? For thern to realize their mistake and crawl begging for forgiveness.
The truth is, I am just so used to their cruelty that I don’t know how to deal with this new
versions of their persona. It’s confusing because a part of me wants to let it all go and
forgive them. The other part though,
doesn’t trust their intentions.
Maybe it’s the trauma from being rejected over and over again, but I can’t trust their
brand new feelings
towards me. It feels like a game. A game of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“No, Rowan” I cut him off. “I’m thankful that you saved me, but please leave. You should
be by Emma’s side. That’s where you’ve always wanted to be. Emma is here and you have
waited years to be with her. Please don’t screw things up. What we had meant nothing. It
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏmwas a mistake from the beginning. We both spent those nine years in misery, it’s time
each of us found our happiness right? Yours has always been with Emma, and mine…well
mine is now with my children”
He wants to argue. I see it in his eyes as the grey pools darken. Almost like there was a
storm raging inside. I still. Waiting for a fight, but it doesn’t come.
I’m surprised when he sags against his chair, before letting out a sigh.
“Alright, I leave you alone…for now” he says in a gruff voice before standing up.
I thought that would be it, but instead of leaving immediately, he bends and the k*sses
my forehead gently. Before I can say or do anything. He leaves, closing the door gently
behind him.
I’m left staring at his back. Wondering what the hell just happened. It’s not that I am not
happy he left. I am. It’s just Rowan is used to doing whatever the F*** he wants, yet he left
when I asked even though you could tell he didn’t want to.
As I slowly regain my energy, I think about what he told me. Of course it’s hard to believe
him. I mean this is Rowan we are talking about. The same Rowan that told me I could
never measure up to be like Emma or a woman he loves.
“What the hell is going on with him? I question but don’t get any answers.
Any other man I would have believed if he told me that he would give up Emma. But not
Rowan. Never Rowan.
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