One More Chance by Jaycelle Rodriguez

Chapter 105: Hating the truth

~~~Here | am playing with those memories again and just when | thought thad setfree, those thoughts

of you keep taunting me. Holding you, a feeling | never outgrew. Though each and every part of has tried, but

only you can fill that space inside. So there's no sense pretending, my heart is not mending~~~

-Nina Girado-

| sat down next to her and watched her cry even though I'm still confused about the reason why. | leaned back

against my seat and watched her in silence. Seeing how devastated she was at the moment, | never tried to ask

her nor open my mouth to talk to her. | know she'll open up towhen she's ready, so I've decided to wait until

she calms down.

| took the box of tissue from her desk and gave it to her and the moment she accepted it, her reddened eyes

met the confused mine. | know what's going through her mind as she stared at me. I'm sure she was also

confused and asking herself as to why I'm not scolding her or why I'm not asking her about what happened.

And when she finally opened her mouth, | confirmed that | was right.

"Are you not going to askabout what happened?" She asked with a sad yet bitter smile that played on her

lips.

| sighed, reciprocating her sad smile.

"No." | shook my head.

"I'm sure you have lots of questions. Aren't you going to askanything?"

"Nope, because all the questions in my head that I've wanted to ask you since you cearlier, have already

been answered."

She sighed, lowering her head.

"He lied about the divorce papers." The first sentence she uttered as she wiped her face with the tissue | gave

her. "The last t| asked him about it, he said yes and then now he suddenly broadcasted the truth!"

| stared at her, taking a deep breath.

"Hmm... so why are you crying?"

"Because | told you he lied to me. All these years when all | thought | was already free from the past, but then all

of a sudden | will find out it was all a lie and that I'm still married to him."

"Alright, but do you really have to cry and be devastated over that thing?"

"Jack, you don't understand, it's not just a thing!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Why don't you makeunderstand because | don't get it, you know?" | huffed. "So what if he lied

to you about the real status of your marriage? And so what, if you found out you're still married to him over

these years? Then sign another divorce paper and this tmake sure you two file it on the court! What's the

problem with that? Why do you have to cry and be sad over it where you should be mad instead of crying?"

"And what do you think I feel right now?"

| was a little shock when she raised her voice, but that just awakened the bitch inside me.

"Whoa! Wait, don't be mad at me, | wasn't the one who lied to you." | couldn't help but chuckle. She had already

stopped crying.

"I am mad--- furious after hearing what he said! It seemed that all the efforts | made to break free from him were

useless! It's all useless?"

"Useless? How do you say that?" | asked, furrowing my eyebrows. "Well, it really would all be useless if not only

your marriage were a lie, but your feelings as well.

| didn't miss the shock that suddenly registered in her eyes.

"Earlier, you were confused as to why I'm not asking you anything, right? Then | hope you would answer this

question straight. You said all your efforts seemed to be useless because you found out you're still tied to him. Is

that really the reason or is it because you realized that after more than four years of hiding from him---"

"lI wasn't hiding---"

"After more than four years of trying to forget him, you realized that you still have feelings for him, that you're

still in love with him and nothing has really changed?"

Her mouth hung in mid-air as she stared atin surprise.

"Am | right?"

She didn't answer my question, instead, she stood up and walked over to the mini-pantry.

"Am | right, Sam? Do you still love your ex--- oh, you're not divorced yet, so I'll change the question. Do you still

love your husband?" | kept bombarding her questions and | didn't stop until she finally let her thoughts go. "Yes! |

still have feelings for him!"

| gasped in shock when she suddenly turned around and screamed with her eyes full of unshed tears.

"| still love him and that's the fucking reason I cried because | hate it! | hate that feeling, | hate that realization

and | hate myself as much as | hate him!"

"But why do you hate yourself?" | asked, taking the rest of the steps towards her.

"Argh!" But then she dropped down and sat on the floor, screaming. Tears started to fall down her cheeks.

"Samantha..." | immediately took her hand and motioned for her to stand up, but she didn't budge.

She lifted her knees close to her chest and hugged them as she continued to cry.

ork

SAM's POV:

"| hate the truth, Jack. | hate myself for being stupid! All these years, | thought | had already moved on. | thought

| had already forgotten him, but | was wrong." | said between my sobs. "Sam..."

And again, she sat down next toand | looked at her. The expression in her eyes changed from confusion to

understanding.

"And you know what the saddest thing--- | also love David. He's a good man. He's my dream man. A man of

every girl's dream. He's the exact opposite of Luke and he never hurtphysically, mentally, emotionally like

what Luke did to me." "You don't love him."

"Huh?" My head snapped at her in an instant and saw the seriousness in her eyes. "What do you mean | don't

love him? Of course, | love him. You were there when | first met him, you were there when we becfriends

and when our friendship started to bloom and it turned into a serious relationship."

"Exactly. | was there and | witnessed everything."

"So why are you telling| don't love him?"

"After watching you earlier, | believe

you don't really love him, Sam. You're just in love with the idea of having someone like him, a man of every girl's

dream next to you. The exact words cfrom you, he's the exact opposite of your ex--- | mean, your husband

and you becfascinated by David's personality which was the opposite of Luke's. You thought you're in love

with him because he makes you smile, he makes you happy, but the truth is that you're just hiding your pain and

you were using David to forget Luke, but you failed."

"So what are you trying to say, that he was just a rebound? Jack, I didn't use him!"

"Then why are you tellingthat you still have feelings for Luke? Is it possible to love two people at the same

time? How would you explain that, huh? So when we were in New York, you loved David while you're still in love

with Luke?"

"Because | do. | love him. | love David." Tears started flowing down my cheeks again. | was really confused and

hurt inside. How would I explain it to him? How would I tell him the truth? How would I tell him that I'm still

married and that | still love the man who causedso much pain?

"Okay, you love David, but what about Luke? You said you still love him."

| closed my eyes for a few seconds and took a deep breath.

"Yes, | still love him despite everything he's done to me. I still love him even after four years of trying to forget

him, that's why I felt like thousands of knives stabbed my heart again when | heard he didn't file the divorce

papers and yet he stayed with her. Earlier this morning after signing the documents, found allmy things were still

intact and hadn't been touched since the day | left that house. Then we talked inside the closet and right there

he toldthat he lovesand he was sorry for everything, for all the mistakes and the pain he had

caused me. And do you know what

else he said?"

| asked and she waited for my next words. My lips were quivering, so | had to bite them before continuing.

"He askedfor another chance. A second chance to make up for all his mistakes, to take his family--- our

family back and he'd be the husband | wanted him to be. This the will make everything right. And you know

what | felt at that moment? Deep in my heart, | felt so much happiness. It was so good to hear them, Jack.

Everything he promised was so good to hear because those were the words | had been waiting to hear from him

four years ago, but | also felt pain and hurt at the stime."

| paused to take a deep breath. My nose was already clogged.

"Because it's too late, Jack, it's too

late. If only four years ago, he said

those promising words to me, maybe | would have jumped in

excitement and rolled on the floor

because of so much happiness.

0

was waiting for him to telleven those simple words like | care for take care, | love you, but he never did. And

suddenly, those things that | had been meaning to hear from him, | heard from David and he didn't just simply

tell them, he showed them through his actions. So you're wrong, | love David."

She didn't say anything, she just gavea long deep sigh as a response.