Chapter Fifty-Seven - Pt# 1 ‘I killed you, | whispered in my head. “You did nothing wrong and | killed you." “Ahh...,” was the only sound that left me.
| was fairly certain that telling him that information didn‘t exactly scream that he could trust me; a vital part of any possible relationship to start. Would it be wrong ofto keep it a secret? It seemed like such an unnecessary gamble to ruin something that didn’t need to be tarnished so quickly.
“...Aria?” he prompted.
“I'm trying to remember,” | lied.
| could see it now... his eyes changing to becwary, unsure of who | was. His death was just the start o fa list of names whose lives | had ended up claiming. Would he seeas a murderer? | swallowed back my hesitance and cleared my throat. If | was willing to finally put the past behindthen there was no reason to ruin my future because of it.
“No,” | eventually answered. “I... can’t recall ever having met you. | was never running late in the library that day since there was no reason forto be so distracted. And because | wasn't running late, | never accidentally collided with you in the hallway... therefore we never met to my knowledge.” 1 It wasn’t necessarily a lie. We technically had never met, it's just that I'd managed to orchestrate his entire demise from the comfort of my own home.
“Ah, | see...,” he said in thought before smiling. “Man, your life really was tragic, aye?” Texhaled in relief disguised as a laugh. “I'm sure your ego kept you company adequately enough.” We continued to chat whilst we walked and I did my best to explain everything as best | could; though purposely remained vague in regards to any of my less pleasant actions or his death. I told him about my life from where it diverted; about the Goddess, Myra, my visions, and about Thea... or what | thought knew about Thea at least. 1 “It all weirdly explains a lot of the things that used to confuseabout you...,” he said as we walked across the threshold of where he was staying.
Both of us had instinctively walked back to his place without needing to confirm where we wanted to go. | certainly didn’t feel up to facing my parents right now.
“...And why you were blaming yourself about Myra,” he continued, closing the door behind us.
A pit of guilt churned in my stomach. “I couldn’t save her the second time. | don‘t know why | didn‘t see iti na vision like before.” “Hey, it's not your fault,” he said as he stepped closer, “You can’t blyourself for not knowing... and you especially can’t blyourself for srandom power thing you‘ve don’t have control over.” I sighed, closing my eyes a little in relier. It felt nice to hear those words from someone who knew the full picture.
It madefeel like | wasn't alone. Here was someone who wasn't required by my birth to care for me, and they were tellingi wasn’t to blame. And | loved my father, don‘t getwrong, but nothing he could‘ve said would have madefeel quite the ssince Cai had no real obligation to me.
After a few moments passed though, | becpainfully aware that both of us were standing silently at his door, neither of us moving.
“Okay,” | finally said, breaking the silence. “I should probably get ssleep since it's been a rough night. I sit okay if | crash on your couch--,” | didn‘t get to finish my request though because his lips were then suddenly on line, hungrily drinkingi ...And miraculously, | wasn’t so tired anymore.
| instantly dropped the dagger from my hand, letting it fall to the ground with a clunk, and reached up to grab his shoulders, pulling him towards A low growl in approval sounded from his throat that did all kinds of inexplicable things to my insides, and he quickly hoistedup against the wall, my legs wrapping around his waist as if they ‘d always belonged there.
His hands were gripped firmly around my thighs as he‘d positioned himself perfectly between them and | could feel his desire as he pressed himself against me.
“Fuck, Aria,” he groaned as he kissedalong my neck. “Do you have any idea how crazy you make me? How long I've wanted to do this?‘ Thad every mind to reply but honestly, at that point, | wanted nothing more than for him to just continue touchingeverywhere, to continue makingfeel more of him against me.
The only reply | managed in the end was more of a whimpering of his narne as my back arched inwards to meet his body. Something that was met with only more kissing and a grunt of his own.
| felt his hand travel under the hem of my dress and try to work its way up but my clothes were too tight around the chest area, restricting any more access.
“Too many clothes,” he grumbled, feeling around my back until he touched the zipper.
He didn’t pull it down though, his hand pausing for a moment as if in thought, and instead he threwover his shoulder in a fireman's carry, making it seem as though | weighed absolutely nothing Cai!” | Squealed in surprise, unable to stop my giggling. “Putdown! | can walk!” “No,” he replied as he began walking towards what was probably the bedroom. “You have a habit of storming away whenever | finally get to kiss you. This is just insurance.” | kept laughing even though | did feel a little bad. But | couldn‘t help it. Something about being carried like this was too exciting to mull in guilt.
He kicked the door wider so we could enter and immediately he placeddown on the bed. Everything aroundin the room smelt like him and it was intoxicating, only driving my want for him higher. A part o ieven wondered what it would be like once | was shifted and becopen to senses far more sensitive. We weren't destined mates, and | knew that there was nothing | could do about that, but even without a mate bond he always managed to have an effect on me.
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇtThe best-case scenawith Cai would be to becchosen mates, something that wouldnt givethe artificial yet intense feelings of a destined mate, but it would be nice nonetheless. If it was between purely a fake emotional attachment induced by the Goddess’ choice, and someone who genuinely cared aboutbut wouldn‘t givedestined mate sparks, | knew which | would choose.
And then realised all this talk of mates wasgetting a little ahead of myself. | hadn’t even spoken to Cal yet about us.. about how it would even be possible for us to be together long-term... and worse, | hadn‘t even spoken to him about his questionable exclusivity.
But there wasn’t enough tto go into all of that yet.. for now, | would be happy with just one answer.
Cai was on me, continuing to kissas his hand already started to unzip the back of my dress. His touch was a fire that madewant to forget all my worries, but | managed to clear my head enough to speak.
“Cai,” | whispered.
| cursed internally at myself though when i realised that it didn’t even sound remotely like | was trying to get him to stop what he was doing.
| cleared my throat. “Cai,” | repeated, trying again. “Hang on a second. | need to ask you something first before we do this.” He pulled back to look atand it was almost like Id wrenched him out of a daze. My heart swelled a little at seeing him like that, seeing the effect | had on him, knowing that it wasthat had done that. It was identical to how my mind beclost in the moment because of him.
“Right now?” he asked, his breath heavy.
...It can wait,’ | heard myself say in my head as | gazed at his perfect features.
“... Yes,” | said reluctantly. “I need to know... | need to know what your relationship with Iris is. Iris Sullivan from the Hidden Moon pack.” He stared atin disbelief almost as if he couldn‘t believe | was asking this now of all times.
“... Did you ever sleep with Iris?” Iris was incredibly beautiful, even I could tell. If there was someone who would be a good match for Cai, | could see how someone like Iris would be a perfect fit. She was of Alpha blood too, attractive, smart, funny... kind even to strangers. Clearly, she was into Cai since she‘d called him her ‘hot date’. If they were or had been together though, then it meant that the words Cai had toldthe night of Aleric’s coming of age might not have been completely genuine.
“No, Aria...,” he said slowly, almost mildly annoyed. “I did not sleep with Iris or have any sort of intimate relationship with her.” Relief flooded throughand instantly | felt so much better, more assured. But | still needed more answers.
“So when she called you her ‘hot date’... what was going on?” | pressed further.
He sighed, sitting up and rubbed at his face.
“Nothing. Nothing was going on,” he said. “Tris and | are friends, she was probably joking. | stayed with her pack briefly whilst | was travelling and got to know her. Things were good, we got along great, we still do, but | ended up leaving after only a month or so. Her father propositionedto take Iris as a chosen mate in the event neither of us found our destined ones. Given our families lineage and the affiliation it could create, it seemed like a good deal for both our packs. Iris even ctoand confessed she was attracted to me.” Oh. That didn‘t sound like nothing but I could see how the proposal would have been extremely beneficial to both parties. They really would be a good pair from what | could tell.
“...And what did you say?” | asked hesitantly, now unsure if | even wanted to know about this anymore.
“No!” he said as if it was obvious. “Of course | said no, you dork. I'd much rather be with this one very stubborn, very annoying old lady who always makesconstantly question my sanity... | want to be with you, Aria, and | meant that.” | felt a warm happiness rush insideand | wanted to give in to it immediately... but | knew that, as nice as being with Cai was, the reality was that it was most likely temporary.
| realised that in an ideal world, being his chosen mate would be the best-case scenario...however, this wasn't an ideal world. Our relationship would possibly ignite a war, something that I'd been trying to push out of my mind to just enjoy the euphoric moment of being with him the last hour or so.
...And then, of course, there was whether he'd meet his destined mate. Something | would be helpless to stand in the way of once he experienced it. | knew how good it felt to feel the mate bond of someone Chapter Fifty Seven - Pt#1 destined for you, how easy it would be to forget everything else; anyone else.
As someone who had already experienced it once, | was far better prepared to deal with it and see it for what it truly was; an unwilling decision decreed by a deity that, according to Selene herself, wasn't able to be changed.
However, | couldn’t say the sfor how Cai would react. The first twould be... intense.
A thought ctothen... something whispering a reminder I'd forgotten. Cai didn‘t have a mate, Luna, or child prior to his death. A death at the age of twenty-one... three years from now.
This meant | had at least three years to confidently be with Cai before the risk of him finding his destined mate bechigher. A risk I'd have to be willing to accept and step back from, no matter how much it might hurt me.
Was he worth that gamble? Chapter Filly-Seven-Pt# 2 Chapter Fifty-Seven - Pt#2 “Aria?” Cai asked, pullingfrom my thoughts.
He gently reached out and poked a finger between my brows, makingrealise | was frowning.
“You've got that look on your face,” he said. “The one that usually tellsyou're overthinking something...
Should | be locking the bedroom door to prevent your escape?” Instantly | relaxed, smiling a bit at his joke. | hadn‘t realised he‘d learnt my expressions so well.
“I'm sorry,” | said, as | stared into his pure golden eyes that had always madewant to melt. “...I'm not going anywhere, | promise. I... | want to be with you too, Cai.” ‘Even if it's just temporary,’ | finished in my head.
Cai had been there at the beginning of my return, witnessing my worst moments and helpingeven when my plans were insane or not his concern. He'd been there forwhen I'd cried and broken down, unsure of who | was or who | could lean on. And it was true he‘d ended up hurting me, but I‘d hurt him too. Yet somehow, he'd realised sooner thanthat we were undeniably drawn to each other. It was justwho refused to acknowledge it.
Being with him was probably still a terrible idea, | knew that, but even if it was temporary, wasn't it better than nothing? Being around him madefeel safe, comfortable, and... wanted. Things I‘d never felt in my past. Was it so wrong ofto desire that for myself, even if it could end disastrously? He didn’t waste any more tthough as his lips were then onagain, and goddamn did he know how t o kiss. | felt like | was going to burn everywhere he touched me; along my thighs, around my waist, up my back.
He‘d managed to unzip my dress already and so it was then just a matter of sliding my arms out as he pulled it up over my head. And suddenly | was before him in only my underwear... that | couldn‘t help but look away, embarrassed.
He must have guessed my thoughts exactly though as he grabbed at my arms before | could completely cover my torso with them.
“Hey, don't do that,” he said gently. “You're so beautiful.” Had anyone ever calledthat before? | couldn‘t ever recall. | knew | wasn't unattractive but I'd never seen myself as anything overly special. How could | given my history? I'd tried to make myself prettier in the past to impress Aleric and it had only madelook unhealthy with a sickly thin figure and dark circles under my eyes.
He planted a small kiss on my wrist and delicately made his way up along my arm, making a trail of pecks as he went. And when he finally reached my shoulder, I shivered under his touch. Everything he did was drivingcrazy, especially as he then began lightly tracing the outlines of my body; starting with my chest, around my bra, and moving lower to around my stomach, dangerously close to the hem of my underwear. All the while leaving a path of goosebumps wherever his fingers touched.
He stared down atwhile he teased me, looking just about ready to devourat any second, but instead he restrained himself, wanting to make the moment last as long as he could. | could barely take it any longer though as a little whimper escapedinvoluntarily.
I sat up impatiently so our eyes were level and kissed him deeply, grabbing the hem of his shirt in one hand.
However, instead of lettinglift it off, he clasped my wrist gently and kissed it, leadingto lie back down again. | would have found it odd but my mind becquickly occupied again.
“Have you ever done this before?” he suddenly asked, “Not in this life,” | answered before | paused in thought, considering his question further. “...And never with someone who cared about me.” He kissedpassionately, as if he know exactly what | was saying and was trying to make up for my past.
Already | had felt more in these last few minutes than any prior experience and | didn‘t want to stop.
He gripped my arm above my head whilst his other hond started to venture lower... and lower.. and lower... untill gasped out, squirming under him.
Thadn’t realised how sensitive | was there until now, hor had | realised just how amazing this could feel. H e kissedgently around my neck... my chest.. my stomach, all the while his fingers continued to build a sure up inside me, unlike anything I'd felt before. It was makingdizzy, exhilarated, and | wanted more of it.
IM Suddenly his lips brushed against my bra, biting softly against the thin fabric there, and it sent an electric shock throughthat completely madecundone, arching my back upwards into the sensation that rode through me.
I laid under him afterwards, completely out of breath as | let the intense waves of pleasure continue to wash over me.
“...Your face was so cute,” he said. His words were light but his voice sounded thick. “I wish | could have taken a picture.” Topened my eyes to meet Cai‘s, a mixture of lust and entertainment in his as he watched me, and my lips twitched at the side into a smile.
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏm“...0Only if you have a death wish,” | answered.
He smirked playfully as if | were actually challenging him, “That might be worth it.” I sighed jokingly, rolling my eyes, and slowly picked myself up until | was kneeling in front of him at almost eye level. He was stunning to look at, by far one of the most attractive people | had ever met, and yet somehow he was interested in me. That fact wasn‘t lost onand my desire to see him, all of him, was steadily increasing.
I went to grab his shirt hem again however, just like before, he stopped me, trying to distractinstead with more kisses.
“...Show me,” | said softly, giving him pause. “I know you're not shy of your body since I've seen your bare back in that classroom years ago. So this is something you're not wantingto see. Me, personally.” He looked unsure, hesitating for several moments before finally closing his eyes in acceptance. And, slowly, he lifted his shirt off.
As | caught the first glimpse of his body, there was a moment where | felt | forgot how to breathe. He was gorgeous, perfectly muscled in all the right ways, and | gently reached a hand out to feel his warm skin under my fingertips. But as my eyes trailed down, | finally saw what he was hiding and froze.
There, on his lower abdomen, were the scars of ragged claw marks. Scars | knew he'd acquired from when we'd saved Myra's life.
“I didn’t want you to be reminded of that right now,” he said quietly. “You looked... happy. Something i was starting to worry about.” I swallowed at the lump in my throat which had formed, my mind beginning to race over the memories of her. | missed her so much.
...But she was gone and I'd already made my peace. Myra wouldn‘t wantto shy away on her account.
llighily traced over the scars with my fingertip, following the jagged lines carefully, before slowly bringing Clapier I‘'uty Seven - PI: 2 my face in closer to kiss it. Underneath my touch, I felt him shiver.
“It's okay,” | said, straightening back up to meet his gaze. “It's a permanent reminder of her as it should be.
She's a part of you now. She's a part of both of us.” | reached up and brought his lips down to meet mine, pressing my body against him. His skin on mine fel amazing, a warmth encircling my whole body as his arms wrapped around me.
Impatiently, | quickly removed my remaining underwear, no longer wanting anything else between us, and hungrily, | watched over him as he did the same. There was a moment once it was done that we paused i o stare at each other, both of us needing a second to take in the other person during silent appreciation.
After several seconds had passed though, he finally laiddown, hovering himself over me, and | softly bit my lower lip.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, givingone last chance to back out.
| knew there was more meaning to his question than just seeing if | was still comfortable. There was a werewolf stigma around destined mates and the virginity of the woman involved; an archaic view that should have been abolished a long tago. By giving myself to Cai, it was basically going against that ridiculous ideology since we both knew | had a mate. But | wasn’t one for old traditions or values anymore. If someone didn‘t wantdue to a reason like that, then they weren‘t worth my t | swallowed nervously and nodded my head.
He kissed my forehead as he proceeded to press himself in, and | cried out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. | heard him groan in unison with me, sending more excited tingles throughout as | clung to his shoulders. 1 Given this was my body's first time, | knew that this mild pain was to be expected but the sensations were overwhelming nonetheless, He waited patiently forthough, allowinga chance to adapt and relax against him, before finally proceeding. Whatever pain had been there luckily diminished quickly and it was immediately overtaken by something far better.
| felt full and completely absorbed against his body as he moved, each thrust stealing a moan from my lips. | wasn't alone though as Cai‘s own grunts were close behind, filling my ears and narrating my thoughts. My mind was devoted, there was only him now, only the way he was able to consmy entire being.
That spressure from before was beginning to build itself insideagain, rapidly increasing in line with his quickening movements. | desperately wanted to feel those waves of pleasure once more, that intense relief | knew was waiting foron the other side.
Everything then suddenly becfervid as my moans beccries. It was a crescendo of heated energy that was close to boiling. Harder and faster, his hands touching and grabbingat every sensitive area, i t was an extremity of sensations | didn’t know possible.
“Aria,” he groaned out one final time.
It was enough to sendcompletely over the edge as | cundone against him, that selectricity sparking throughout my body to leavebuzzing. He wasn’t far behind though as he shared in his own release, the two of us left panting and completely exhausted.
I laid in his arms when it was over, nestled up against his body as neither of us wanted to move. There was nowhere else I'd rather be than right there.
And it becabundantly clear tothat, o