Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Gumihou: Some general editing

Once the main Rubanov temple had been reduced to rubble, I force my familiars to leave before we cause an even bigger incident.

Naturally, after having completed this ‘important’ mission, Fer demanded a meal as soon as possible. Our next stop was Ronkainen, so the best location to have a peaceful meal was at the very same forest between the borders of the Holy Nation and the small warring countries.

I got off Grandpa Gon’s back with a sigh, “Haahh… at least we got out of that situation safely…”

“Humph, that level of activity barely aids digestion,” grumped Fer.

“Umu, I did not even get to use my most prided skill, the Dragon Breath.”

“… …” as expected, those two titans of power were complaining about how boring our first attempt at ‘subjugating’ a country was.

“If Grandpa Gon unleashes the Dragon Breath, the entire place would be scorched black.”

“Isn’t it fine? It’s not like the country is filled with good people.”

“Don’t say that, Fer. The God of Creation, Demiurgos-sama decided on the punishment, therefore it could only be considered just right.”

“”Humph, all we get to do is destroy one building, what’s the fun in that?”” grumbled Dora-chan.

[1] “It can’t be helped,” I said. “If it’s the work of just one of you, they could just claim it as a rogue monster attack. So, it must be everyone working together under Demiurgos-sama’s divine oracle.”

[1] I’m basically speaking nonsense at this point, but no one else has to know it.

“”Sui wants to pew pew more~~””

Haahhh… even my sweet Sui is complaining about the lack of violent activity…

“It’s fine, after visiting that human city Ronkainen, we shall head over to a fun place.”

“”Fun place~?””

“Oi, oi,” I immediately cut in. “Just what is this fun place?”

“Kukuku, just know that it is a very fun~ place,”

Wait, I need more information. What is this fun place you’re talking about? For Fer (and the rest of my familiars) fun equals violence, so just where are you planning to go?!

I wanted to question this Fenrir more, but everyone else was already bugging me about having lunch, so I got busy putting Salt & Leek Dungeon Pork Bowls together from my prepared food stock.

After the late lunch, my familiars announced that they wanted to go hunting.

“Umu, we’re already in a forest anyway, so let’s go hunting.”

Was Fer’s excuse.

In the end, I never managed to get Fer to tell me where this supposed ‘fun place’ was.

“Are you seriously going to go hunting immediately after your meal? You’ll get indigestion,” I scolded them half-heartedly, knowing that they most likely won’t listen to me.

Especially since Fer had already baited them with the ‘fun hunting place’ remark.

As expected, after casting a barrier on me, the rest all ran off, leaving me alone… [2] Those blasted familiars, have they completely forgotten what happened the last time they left me alone to go hunting? I was kicked around by a Behemoth, a Behemoth, you know?!

And my poor Magic Stove was killed… *sob*

Uwaahh!! Screw Fer’s stupid ‘Nothing can go through my barrier’, can your barrier protect against anxious thoughts? Anxiety?!

Mental attacks are just as deadly, you know??!

Haahh… haaahh…

Whatever, let’s cook to take my mind off these useless thoughts.

Yes.

Hmm.

Right.

What should I make?

Hmm, hmm, let’s just stick my hand into the [Item Box] and grab the first thing that comes…

I rummaged around with my eyes closed and grabbed something meat-like. Ah, hmm, I hope I didn’t accidentally pick that frog thing…

I pulled out my hand and found it was-

“Gigantic Minotaur, huh? Hmm… it’s everyone’s favourite, let’s make a sweet and savoury Chives Stir-fry! Delicious but simple to make, and more importantly it goes great with rice!”

[3] There was another reason why I chose to make Chives Stir-fry. We have eaten so much of the Gigantic Minotaur meat that all that was left were uneven scraps. Therefore, it’s best to cut up these leftovers bit into strips and make a stir-fry.

I often do this with the leftover meats I have at home.

[3] After slicing up the meat, I set it aside to marinate with salt, pepper, soy sauce, saké, mirin, sugar, grated garlic (from tube) and grated ginger (also from tube). While the meat was marinating, I cut the chives into inch-long pieces.

Once the prep work was completed, it was time to cook.

On a large pan, I heat up sesame oil and got ready to fry up some Meat and Garlic Chives!

[3]

Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh!

Thanks to my Solitary Chef title (sob), I can cook very quickly. With a couple of whooshes and a few clangs, piles of food were quickly done. Hmm, should I have some first?

“Ou! Let’s eat some~”

I grabbed an earthen pot (made by yours truly with my Earth Magic!), scooped out some rice onto my new ‘don’ bowl and ladled the freshly cooked meat on top.

“Woah, as expected, Beef and Chives stir-fry is awesome on rice! Fumu, fumu~”

After the quick snack, I consider the time and then the quiet forest surroundings.

“Let’s make another dish, if I don’t start cooking, I’ll just start worrying. Right, let’s get busy, busy, busy. Let’s see, I have all these random pieces of leftover Cockatrice meat. Should I make them into Karaage? No, let’s turn them into minced meat. As for what to make, hmm, something easy to eat with lots of veggies~~ Chicken is the meat for healthy people~”

After making a bunch of minced chicken, I bought onions, carrots, green peppers, shiitake mushrooms and bamboo shoots from [Net Super]. After blanching the bamboo shoots, I chopped up all of the ingredients into cubes and set them aside.

Next, heat up the pan and fry the minced chicken. This is basically similar to making Chicken Soboro (Minced Chicken Stir-fry), except, instead of leaving it as meat only, let’s add in all these chopped vegetables~

Once the vegetables have been partly cooked through, add soy sauce, mirin, saké, sugar, and grated ginger (tubed) and stir-fry until the moisture is mostly gone.

Woah, this one seems pretty good too~

Fufufu, let’s put them all away in a Tupperware. Fortunately, [Net Super] also has Tupperware for sale. Naturally, I bought a load of them, extra-large ones.

Cooked minced meat is always convenient. It could be eaten directly with rice, be stirred into eggs to make a hearty omelette or make a quick and luxurious minced meat fried rice~

[3]

With that in mind, I set up four portable stoves and cooked up my minced Cockactrice into regular Chicken Soboro and Chicken Soboro with Veggies~

By the time the last of the extra-large Tupperware of cooked minced was put away, it was getting dark.

“I wonder when Fer and the rest will be back…”

Ah, well, it’s not like I can do anything about it.

Instead, I sat back with a canned coffee in hand and relaxed for a bit.

Just as the last of the canned coffee was gone, I saw Grandpa Gon flying across the evening sky.

When he landed, I hopped to my feet, “Welcome back, how was it?”

“… it was a waste of time, there were no delicious monsters in this forest.”

“There were only [4] Myconids, Maneaters, Trents, the only thing worse would be rock monsters…”

Both Fer and Grandpa Gon looked very disappointed.

“Ah, well, things like this happen sometimes,” I said comfortingly. “Anyway, I’ve prepared dinner for you so eat up and cheer up!”

For some reason, I was feeling peppy. Was I happy about their failure?

Of course not.

Hahaha!

Anyway, everyone was served with Chives Stir-fry made with Gigantic Minotaur meat on rice.

“Umu, not getting meat is such a waste of a hunt. Still, I must eat the delicious food in front of me,” muttered Fer.

“Master’s food is as delicious as always. My terrible mood dissipates with every bite.”

Wow, Grandpa Gon was unexpectedly good at flattering.

“”Master’s food is always delicious!”” said Dora-chan. “”It’s too bad we don’t get any meat, but I enjoy killing those monsters, heh.””

“”Aruji’s food is yummy~””

Ah, Sui-tan~~

“Humph, as expected, I must clear away this humiliation with that…”

Oi, what’s with that weird shine in Fer’s eye?

Is he plotting something?!

I stared fiercely at my familiar even as I stuffed my mouth with more food.

Please don’t do anything strange…

[Gumihou: …please do something strange~~]

[1] Change the weird roundabout argument with something more plausible.

[2] Add details, since we want to increase the word count, it makes sense to

[3] Adjusted the cooking scenes, which involved a lot of deleting. It was getting kind of tiresome.

Mukouda: I can’t believe you said that!!

Gumihou: There are only so many ways you can make buy buy >chop chop>mix mix>fry fry>yum yum scenes interesting

Mukouda: … ah

Gumihou: I put in ‘reasons to cook xx’ to bring up the word count, so don’t worry.

[4] Myconid – Mushroom monster

Maneater – Shark monster?

Trent – Tree monster

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