Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

“B-blerrgh…”

I pushed myself off Fer’s back and practically collapsed on all fours and vomited onto the featureless dry grass.

“”Oi, are you alright?””

“”Aruji~~?””

“Goodness, why are you so weak?”

“Damn you, whose fault do you think it is that I’m like this?”

I glared at Fer. After three days of non-stop, high-speed travelling, my nerves had been worn thin.

“It can’t be helped, it must be done to get out of this boring floor quickly.”

“I objected…”

“So you did, but the majority voted to move quickly, so you cannot put the whole blame on me.”

“Kuh…”

On the first day of the high-speed trip, I was ready to give up and suggested that we move slower. However, Fer insisted on getting through this floor quickly. He was backed by Sui and Dora-chan, those traitors… [5a]

Thankfully, [8] I had made all those ready food for our meals. All I had to do was pull things out of the [Item Box] and assemble them for my familiars. Personally, I could not stomach the idea of eating real food and ended up surviving on nutritional jelly from [Net Super]. Man, this brings me back to those back-to-back overtime days…

“Mu, it can’t be helped since you’re weak… but I supposed we could stay the night.”

Fer indicated that he could really run all night, but I’m glad for the respite. My stamina was at its limit and we had just arrived at a cave that should lead to the 43rd Floor.

[8] We were all a little hesitant about charging forward. Okay, fine, I was a little wary about charging forward blindly and Fer at least recognised that and allowed me to rest for the night.

[8] It helped that I all but bribed my familiars with Cutlet Sandwiches made with Gigantic Minotaur meat.

Burp.

“Umu, it’s delicious.”

“”Bread is the best, especially with meat!””

“”Yummy~””

Well, I’m glad you guys like it, but I’m afraid just looking at the oily crunchy starchy food just made me want to hurl.

Instead, I opted to cook a little congee on a portable stove. The very first one I bought off [Net Super] in fact.

Wow, it feels kind of nostalgic.

To make this very nutritious and easy-on-the-stomach Egg Congee, I first heat up some water, dashi granules, soy sauce, mirin and salt in an earthenware pot. Once the water starts boiling, I stir in some cooked rice. This is an easy hack for quick congee, there’s no way I’m going through the whole process of soaking and simmering congee from raw rice.

Once the rice reached the consistency I wanted, I stirred in a couple of beaten eggs. The eggs firmed up quickly and after adjusting the flavour with a bit of pepper and salt, it was ready to be eaten.

In fact, it would be nice to add some chopped onions or shredded seaweed on top, but I’m too exhausted to bother with such niceties. Today, I just ladled a bit of the Egg Congee into a small bowl, blew on a spoonful of the congee and sipped it carefully.

“Haahhh…. that really hits the spot,” I sighed happily, feeling a little less dead than just now.

I took another sip of congee and felt a gentle poke on my thigh.

“Hm?” I looked down and saw that it was Sui poking me with her tentacle.

““Aruji~ Is that delicious?””

“Well, I like it. Would you like some, Sui?”

““Yes~””

I ladled some into a little bowl and gave it to her. Sui immediately went all over it, literally.

“How is it?”

““Hmmm, it’s good, but Sui likes meaty~~””

“Haha, I thought you’d say that.”

The consistency of the rice had been boiled to something resembling paste and the taste was very diluted so as not to cause strain on my poor stomach.

“Oi, seconds.”

“”Same!””

“”Sui too~””

After a decent meal, I, who had suffered for the past few days, slept like a log for once.

“After going down these steps, we will reach the 43rd Floor.”

“Umu, the next floor had better not be a wasteland of nothing. If it’s still the same… well, even a gentle soul like myself would get mad.”

“Er, did you just call yourself a gentle soul?”

“What are you implying?”

“Nothing, nothing, it’s just, well, there are recorded historical events about you destroying whole countries. There’s… also the way you ruthlessly hunt down monsters…”

“This and that are completely different things.”

“And how is it different, exactly?”

“”Right! Enough arguing. Let’s goo!!””

Dora-chan flew between us and shot towards the stairs.

“”Wait for Sui~””

Sui bounced off Fer’s head and bounded quickly down.

“Wait, you two!”

We all more or less piled out the staircase and onto the 43rd Floor.

“… …”

““Aruji~ it’s full of sand~””

Indeed, it was a vast expanse of nothing but yellow sand.

I sighed, bracing myself for Fer’s tantrum when-

“Kukuku… Fuhahahaha! Rejoice, Sui! It’s here! Monsters have delivered themselves up to be slaughtered!”

“”Really?! Yahoo!!””

“”Yay~ Sui will pew pew lots and lots~!””

[9] Ah, well, is this actually a better reaction? I don’t know anymore…

[9]

“Good, it’s here.”

“Here?” I look in the direction Fer was staring and flinched.

“”A herd of Sand Scorpions!””

“”Yay~~!””

Indeed, a huge group of 1-meter-tall Sand Scorpions were stomping towards us.

“Wait, if there’s an entire group of Sand Scorpions…”

“Mwahaha! That fellow’s here!”

Fer flicked his paw and the Claw Slash attack split a Giant Sand Scorpion in half.

The large monster that had just pushed itself out of the sand about 30 meters away died in a flash…

Without their apparent leader, the rest of the Sand Scorpions tried to run away.

“”You’re not escaping me!!””

“”Ei~! Ei~! Ei~!””

Ice Spears and Acid Bullets rained down on the scattering Sand Scorpions.

“”Hm~ some ran away~””

Indeed, some of the Sand Scorpions were nothing but red and black dots in the distance.

“Do not worry, there is plenty of prey around.”

“”Excellent!””

“”Yay~!””

“… whatever, just help me collect some of these Drops.”

[9]

Luckily, Fer’s barrier could also be adjusted to keep the heat out and our group proceeded through the desert in a timely manner.

Along the way, we encountered all sorts of monsters. These included, but not limited to:

Sand Scorpions – 1-meter-tall black and red scorpions

Sand Worm – 3-meter-long giant earthworm with jagged teeth

Death Sidewinder – 3-meter-tall rattlesnake

Sand Golem – golems made of… sand

In short, the monsters we saw here were similar to the ones from Doran’s desert field dungeon. I should also note that we are no longer moving in a straight line like we had the previous two floors. Instead, it felt like Fer was deliberately leading the party into various monster horde.

I would like to protest, seeing those poor monsters getting squashed the moment we sighted them was rather pitiful… Then again, considering the week-long (?) frustration they had suffered from lack of prey and the featureless wilderness…

Well, I guess there’s no harm in letting them take their feelings out against dungeon monsters.

Instead of worrying over the ethics of slaughtering dungeon monsters, I bought myself a UV protection hoodie and focussed on collecting Drops instead.

Eventually, after destroying several groups of monsters, we came upon something that looked like a dark brown sphere. It looked huge, even from where we were standing.

[10]

“Hm? Is that some kind of weird structure?”

“No, it’s also a monster.”

“That perfect sphere is a monster?”

“No, that thing behind it.”

“The thing behind it… eek!”

An obviously insectile head popped out from behind the brown sphere. Suddenly, I know what the brown sphere was and what kind of insect we were looking at.

“A- a dung beetle?!” I shouted.

[10]

[5a]

“Oh, you just attracted its attention,” said Fer mildly.

Goro goro goro goro

“Ugh, it’s pushing the giant dung over!! Somebody stop it!!”

[Gumihou: Changed the ending, deleted the ‘kyaa!’ from Mukouda and to ‘eww, giant dung!’ instead.]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information… starting to delete pointless scenes now

[a] Deleted ‘you idiot, why are you so loud. You attracted its attention’. Because I’d think Fer would be more annoyed if it’s ‘you idiot, you’re too loud and it ran away’

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative License – Added details on the food and travelling situation after [5a]

[9] Pre-battle dialogue

[10] Spherical monster (?), the original dialogue did not make sense. So, make it more natural and logical. Also, provide a more hilarious and realistic version of the dung beetle attack, complete with onomatopoeia.