Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

“Uhm, everyone, are you here?”

As soon as I called for them, footsteps thundered over.

“Of course, we’re here~! Cake! Dorayaki! Desserts of all kinds~! Come to me~!”

“Hm? Aren’t you a little early?”

“He’s a little early this month, but that’s fine, isn’t it?”

“…ice-cream.”

“Whis-ky~! Whis-ky~! Yahoo~!”

“We’ve been waiting for you! Our whisky’s been running a little low, you’re just in time!”

As always, they all gathered together as soon as I called for them. [2] In fact, it sounds like they had been waiting for me. Do gods and goddesses of this world have so much free time?

“No, no, I don’t know about the others, but I’m terribly busy,” [7] said Kishar-sama loftily.

“Liar. Kishar’s pretty free too.”

“Ufufufufu, do watch your mouth, Agni-chan.”

“Oho, scary, scary~”

Kishar-sama’s tone was gentle, but kind of scary.

“Speaking of which, I have made a small donation to your churches.”

“I have been watching, what excellent attitude you have.”

“Umu, it was an excellent job.”

“Thank you very much!”

“… thank you for your care.”

“Well, I was only able to donate to the goddesses’ churches…” [3] because there was no church dedicated to the gods.

“Hephaestus and Vahagn are too weak. They have few followers and the people barely believe in them.”

“Guu… I- I am greatly worshipped by the dwarves.”

“M-my followers are on a different continent!”

“Tough talks from the two of you, mwahahaha!” [3] Ninril-sama is making fun of them.

However, I thought Ninril-sama’s position was hardly better than the gods.

Her church was in a terrible state and she had barely any followers.

“O-oi, you-”

Oh my, did you read my thoughts?

“Gahahaha! It is as you thought. Ninril might have a church of her own, but it’s kind of dilapidated~”

“Ahahaha! Let me tell you, it’s better to have no church than a dilapidated one like yours.”

“Gununu, you—!”

“Alright, alright, enough with that. We won’t get anywhere like this.”

“But, these gods–!”

“Ninril-chan is the one who started it, so you only have yourself to blame.”

“Unununu,”

“Don’t you unununu me. Enough about that. Anyway, I’m sure there’s a reason why Other Worlder-kun called us a little early, right?”

Oh, as expected of Kishar-sama. [1] She certainly has a talent for getting to the point quickly.

“Well, the truth is [4] I’ll be going to the dungeon soon. So I thought I should give 2 weeks’ worth of offerings now, in case I’m delayed.”

“Is that so? I’m fine with that. We don’t lose anything like this.”

“I’m fine with it too! Rather than that, hand over the cakes and dorayaki now–!”

“You’re too noisy, Ninril. Anyway, I’m good with it [5],” [7] said Agni-sama, short and to the point as usual.

Needless to say, the rest of the pantheon was also on board. [5a]

“Right, I’ll take your orders now and give you the offerings right away. I have to go to the dungeon tomorrow, so I won’t have time then. [5]”

[8]

“That’s right, do your best in the dungeon so you can access your next tenant shop quickly,” said Kishar-sama. “Ninril-chan, you’re up first. Quickly now.”

“Don’t give me orders! You’re not the boss of me!”

“Hmm, is that so? Then, I guess Ninril-chan is fine being the last one?” [6] Kishar-sama sounded kind of scary.

“Wh-what are you saying? O-of course, I’m going first! I always go first!”

“Well, if that’s the case, go on then. Quickly now.”

“Gununununu…”

What’s with all the ‘gununununu’?

Just give your order quickly.

“Ninril-sama, do hurry up. Or, perhaps you do not wish to claim your offering?”

“Nuoooo!!! Of course, I want my offerings! I want my desserts! Cakes and Dorayaki! I haven’t tasted anything from the Other World since my last dorayaki a week ago. Hurry up and give me my cakes and dorayaki!!!”

[8]

Ninril-sama, you ate your last dorayaki a week ago…?

Didn’t I give you a whole bunch of cakes and dorayaki last offering?

Well, it’s Ninril-sama after all.

Ignoring the urging from Ninril-sama, I opened up Net Super and bought Limited Edition cakes from the Local Fruit Fair. [1] These included Premium Melon Roll Cake, Shortcakes, Sweet Summer Tarts and more.

Once the boxes of sweets disappeared in a flash of light, I heard Ninril-sama’s shriek of delight, followed by a pattering of fading footsteps.

What a deplorable goddess…

“That Ninril-chan…” [3] came Kishar-sama’s slightly disgusted voice.

“Um… [5]”

“[5] Enough about that goddess. Now, do allow me to place my requests.”

Naturally, Kishar-sama’s orders involved beauty products. [2] This time, she wanted lotions and creams, along with bath salts, body soaps, shampoos and hair treatment.

[6] “You want shampoos in different scents?” I asked.

[9] “Yes, you once told me that I should use whichever scent according to my mood that day, well, everything smells really nice and now I want more variety. I only have three types, and would like two more please.”[5]

Personally, I think five different sets of bathing products are too many, but a request is a request. I think I provided bath products scented with flowers and fruits last time. This time, I recommended some botanical herb-scented products.

[9] There was a flash of light and Kishar-sama’s voice said, “Thank you for the offering, I expect you to achieve the next tenant soon ~”

“… …” there is really no guarantee that a drugstore would turn up as one of the tenant stores offered but, considering Kishar-sama’s obsession with beauty… [6] I hope for everyone’s sake that it will be one of the options.

“I’m up next, naturally, I want beer.”

[5] Naturally.

I bought a pack of Company S Premium beer, a pack of Y-bis beer, and Company S Black label beer as well as some random 6-pack of beers. [5]

“Alright! I’m off to enjoy these. Oh, and do your best on your dungeon thing!”

Right, I shall do my best not to get in the way of Fer and the rest…

“…ice-cream, and the limited edition cakes…”

Yes, Ruka-sama. Hmm, let’s see, [2] a large tub of vanilla flavoured ice-cream since that’s her favourite as well as little cups of premium ice-creams in various flavours from Fujiya, since I’m already here to pick out the limited edition cakes.

[6] I placed the offering on the table and pressed my hands together.

A soft voice said, “…thank you.”

[9] Ahh, it’s nice to get a thank you from the usually quiet Ruka-sama.

“Finally!”

“It’s our turn!”

[9] This time, they wanted just one bottle of the Best Whisky in the World (low end) as well as lots of other whiskies they have not tried before.

Since the emphasis is on quantity rather than quality, I adjusted Tanaka’s ranking for the recommended whiskies to reflect the best prices.

No. 1 on the ranking was a bourbon whisky, which holds about 40% of the global whisky market share. [1] Looks like it could maintain a low price due to its wide dispersement. More importantly, the review said that this corn-based alcohol makes for a gentle and mellow liquor that’s perfect for an evening after-meal drink.

No. 2 is a low-priced Irish whisky made using a special processing method that had been passed down from generation to generation. [1] According to the description, this whisky has a nice aroma with a smooth texture that makes it easy to drink.

No. 3 is a local Japanese whisky. [1] These have been around for quite some time and have some die-hard fans, although it had been gaining some new followers recently.

Aside from the above whiskies, I spent the rest of the two gold on other reasonably priced whiskies.

After I sent over the heavy boxes to them, the gods yelled, “Thank you! We’ll enjoy our drinks today! [5]”

“Phew, that’s over. Well, there’s still Demiurgos-sama’s offering.”

[9]

For a God of Creation of this world, he was very humble and had always accepted whatever I offered him. Recently, however, I received a small request… [5]

“If possible, I’d like some plum wines…”

I really liked Demiurgos-sama, I think his unexpected obsession with plum wine is rather cute. Until I was informed that he had been dividing the plum wine among his servants and that they, well, let’s just say everyone’s motivation for work increased by a lot.

Anyway, I picked out three bottles of sake, all of which had won an award or a medal of some sort. I also picked out a set of plum wines pickled in brandy, honey and brown sugar. [6] Since it is meant to be shared out among his servants, I deliberately chose a strong wine that is best served mixed with water or on the rocks.

[9]

Demiurgos-sama’s offering naturally included the usual snacks. [1] Once everything had been checked out, I put my hands together and prayed “Demiurgos-sama, I have your offerings…”

“Oohh~~ thank you for always doing this… hm, hm, did I not say that just sake is fine? You don’t have to include the plum wine.”

“No, no, I am greatly indebted to Demiurgos-sama for many things. I don’t mind it.”

“Is that so? Ah, I’ve troubled you,”

“Fufu, you did mention that your servants are more motivated after you reward them with plum wine, right?

“That is certainly so. They tended to complain a lot, but a bit of plum wine ensures a good work ethic. Fuoh, fuoh, fuoh.”

“I see, well, I shall be setting out for the dungeon tomorrow. So, I’m afraid that the next offering would most likely be delayed. I’ll try not to delay it too long, of course.”

“No need to worry about that, rather, you’ll be diving into Brixt’s dungeon, right?”

“Yes,”

“I see…”

“Erm, is that… alright?”

“No, no, it’s just, it had been so long that I have almost completely forgotten about that person living, or rather, sleeping in the lowest levels of that dungeon.”

“Eh? Sleeping? In the dungeons?”

“Well, it should be fine since it’s your party we’re talking about. Still, if you happen to encounter any difficulty, do please contact me. Well, take care.”

“Eh, eh? What? Wait, I should contact you? I should take care? Just what is going on Demiurgos-samaaaaa!”

[Gumihou: Hmmm…]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information… starting to delete pointless scenes now

[a] Deleted rest of ‘yeah, we’re ok, ditto reason’

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative Licence Taken – Natural dialogue for the usual argument. Without Ninril appearing too dumb or the dialogues too repetitive

[9] Adjust the explanation to something that makes sense