Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

“You’re too loud,”

“Too noisy, naa.”

“Aruji~ Why so loud~?”

To be treated as the crazy party and tsukkomi-ed [8] by others is…

Wait, wait, wait, I’m not the crazy one here!

I stared at the huge red and black body with horror. I could see the reflections of my face from the shiny scales. No matter how I looked at it, this looks like a- a-

“-a, this is-”

“Umu, it’s a Red Dragon.”

… as expected. I mean, it’s dragon-shaped and mostly red in colour, so…

“Amazing isn’t it? We hunted it down!” Dora-chan was flying in excited circles over my head with a huge grin on his face.

“Sui pew pew it lots and lots!” Sui bounced around happily. Luckily, she’s back to her normal size, so it’s more cute than scary.

“A Red Dragon… what am I supposed to do with a huge thing like this?”

I had big enough a problem when he brought the Earth Dragon back, but this…

“It’s too bad this Red Dragon is a bit on the small side. It’s only a young adult after all. Well, thanks to that I was able to stuff it inside the magic bag.”

This thing was… on the small side? It- it should be about 12 to 13 meters long…

“Also, Red Dragon meat is delicious.”

Fer-san, you… you want to eat this?

…this, well, the Earth Dragon was indeed a very delicious monster. So… I supposed… Red Dragons could also be… delicious?

Anyway, I don’t think that Verulean’s team of dismantlers, even with their incredible sportsman’s spirit, could deal with a whole dragon.

I guess I have no choice but to ask That Person… [5]

“To have this dismantled, we’ll have to head back to Doran.”

“Umu, to see that weird elf?”

“Apparently, specific tools are required to take a whole dragon apart. Also… I’ve promised Elland-san that I’ll bring any dragons I caught to him for dismantling. I have a feeling that if I don’t do this, he would quit his position as guild master and start following us around…”

Stalking us. That’s the word! Stalking us around!

“Hmm, it does seem possible that elf would do such a thing…” Fer was wrinkling his nose the same way he usually did for vegetables.

Well, that weird elf did rub his cheek against a dead Earth Dragon’s scale after all… He would have been quite a good and capable person if not for his dragon fetish. Moreover, we have Dora-chan in our party, so if he ever comes near us… it would be too troublesome…

“Just standing around here won’t solve anything. Anyway, we need to get the Adventurer’s Guild to process the rest of these so… let’s head back to the city first.”

“Umu,”

I put the preys into my [Item Box] [6] and got onto Fer’s back. “Oh, you should tell me all about how you encounter the Red Dragon in detail once we got back.”

“Of course! I shall regale you with our heroic deed!”

For some reason, Dora-chan sounded very proud. Ah well, let’s get back to the city first. [5]

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We managed to get back to the city before the gate closed. [2] Now that we’re right in front of the Adventurer’s Guild, I hesitated. For some reason, I feel kind of uncomfortable.

In the end, I steeled myself and approached the counter, the receptionist immediately called for Marks-san when she saw me.

“Did anything happened to you?” Marks-san looked kind of worried.

“No, no, well…”

[4] “A Red Dragon had been sighted flying near the mountain a little way away from the city. Since you told me you’re planning to bring your familiars there, I was a little worried.”

What is this timing?

Could it be…?

“Hey, Fer,” I probed him telepathically, “is the dragon he’s talking about the same one you guys…” [5]

“Umu, according to my instincts, I’m positive it’s the same dragon. Moreover, the sighting is for one Red Dragon.”

I- is that right? W- well, I really can’t keep this to myself, can I?

Moreover, Marks-san was now going around barking instructions at his people and setting up precautions. I felt like it would be very bad if I keep quiet about this.

“Excuse me, Marks-san. Could I… speak to you at the warehouse?”

“Hmm? Sorry, but I’m really busy right now.”

“It’s related to the incident you’re handling right now.” Somehow, I managed to convince him without having to say the words ‘Red Dragon’ to speak at the warehouse.

Marks-san led the way to the warehouse and said a little impatiently, “So, what’s the matter?”

“Can we close the door?”

Marks-san signalled for one of the dismantlers to close the warehouse door.

I looked around one more time. The warehouse was completely sealed, there was only my familiars, me, Marks-san and the dismantlers. I heaved a sigh and said, “I guess this place is as good as any. Everyone, please don’t be too startled.”

I walked to a large space and withdrew the large red and black body from my [Item Box].

“Here’s the Red Dragon”

………….

………

…

“Uhm, Marks-san?”

Marks-san and the dismantlers were all completely silent. They were all staring at the Red Dragon. I guess this is perfectly natural?

I mean, it’s a Red Dragon after all.

So, I waited for them to process the sight. However, a long time later, I still didn’t get any reaction from anyone.

“Ah, erm, that is, are you alright?”

Marks-san shook himself, “Oh, oh! Oh, sorry, sorry, I kind of forgot myself for a second.”

It was waay longer than a second, but that’s alright.

“So, this Red Dragon is…”

“Most likely the one that was sighted earlier.”

“I- I see…Well, it looks like you’ve taken care of our problem even before it had been properly processed. Even so, we are very grateful for your assistance in subjugating this creature.”

“Well, to call it subjugation…”

More like, it was cheerfully and pitilessly hunted down by my familiars. Not that I ever told them to hunt down any dragons, but I guess it’s inevitable for them to hunt down the most powerful creature in the area…

“Ah, that’s right. I tend to forget it myself, but you do have the legendary Fenrir as your familiar. I guess Fenrirs should have no problem taking down Red Dragons?”

“Umu,” said Fer smugly, “I can hunt down Red Dragons by myself, but with Sui and Dora by my side, taking this guy down is easy.”

Marks-san looked shaken for some reason. “Ah, no, I mean. I’m a little surprised that a Fenrir could understand human language.”

Then he muttered to himself, “So, taking down a Red Dragon is easy for a Fenrir…” [5]

“By the way,” [7] Marks-san was now looking at me with very determined eyes. “You’re registered as an A Ranker, right?”

“Eh? Er, yes, that’s right.”

“You… don’t you think you’re more suitable to be an S Rank Adventurer?”

“Eh? Eh? No, no, no, no, this has nothing to do with me. The Red Dragon is taken down by Fer and the rest. I did absolutely nothing.”

“Well, you are the Beast Master of familiars who could take down Red Dragons easily. So, I believe you are more than qualified to be an S Rank Adventurer. I mean, if someone like you couldn’t make it as an S Ranker, wouldn’t it be impossible for the rest?”

Even if you say all that, what do you expect me to do!?

“Well, I can’t leave you sitting in the A Rank bracket after seeing this!” ‘This’ being the Red Dragon. “I’m promoting you to S Rank, right away!”

“Eeeehhh–!! I showed it to you because I thought you should know and not get into a panic over nothing. Can’t you just keep this just between us?”

“Are you an idiot? There’s no way something like this could be kept secret. If it’s an Earth Dragon, maybe, but not a flying Red Dragon!”

[6] “But-”

[4] “Dangerous flying threats have great mobility and guilds are obliged to report it to guilds of other countries. The Red Dragon is seen flying here, it would only invite speculation if the report just stops here.” [5]

[6] “I understand, but-”

[4] “Sharing information in the case of emergency is the basic of basics!”

I winced, “Then, is it possible to limit the spread of information? Surely the general staff and other Adventurers did not need to know the details?” I was pretty much begging at this point.

Marks-san sighed, “If that’s the case, I shall share this information with only the Vice-Guild Masters and above.”

Let’s hope it would not go further than that…

“Please and thank you very much!”

“Ou! As for you lot, you had better stay sharp and forget about what you see here, alright?” Marks-san shook a long sword at the dismantling team, who was still stunned by the sight of the Red Dragon.

They all silently nodded.

“As for this thing. I’m afraid we’re not equipped to dismantle it here.”

“I understand. I’m sure Elland-san will be more than happy to do it [5].”

“Aah, that guy. Of all people, I guess he’d be the one who could do it?”

“Yeah, to be honest. He was also the one who dismantled my Earth Dragon. He had a great time doing it.”

“Haha, I bet.”

We exchanged a pained smile. Elland-san’s obsession with dragons appeared to be well known.

“Will you be heading towards Doran after this?”

“No, we will most likely challenge the Avering dungeon first before making our way to Doran.”

“Oh? Challenging a dungeon, eh?”

“Yes, Fer and the rest are really keen.”

“Ah, so that means you’ll be clearing the Avering Dungeon right after conquering Doran’s,” Marks-san nodded knowingly.

My smile was very stiff, it’s not like I deliberately go about clearing dungeons. It’s just… my familiars enjoyed it far too much!

“Well, I’ll just let the Guild Master at Avering know to expect your arrival. When will you be leaving?”

“In three days. I plan to stock up on seafood first!”

“Gahahaha! Our fish is certainly delicious, eh?”

After that, I collected the Orc meat that I had left for them to dismantle that morning as well as the gold for the Orc materials and Sabre-Tooth Tiger request. The money collected was 74 gold. It turned out that I had spoiled the price for Orc Testicles by flooding the market with super effective Dungeon Drop Orc Testicles.

Ah, well, as long as I have the meat. I don’t really care, I have plenty of money.

I also left my Cockatrices, Rock Birds, Giant Horned Rabbit and Golden Back Bull to be dismantled. As Marks-san was looking at my catch, I heard him mutter, “More unusual monsters, eh.”

The last two monsters were B Rank catches, but what made them unusual was their rarity. Apparently, Adventurers have to venture deep into the forest to hunt these. Their meat was considered the very best and quite expensive.

[4] “So, will you be selling any of the meat?”

[4] “Sorry, but no. We hunt these monsters for their meat after all. My familiars will hate me if I sell them, hehe.”

“I see, well, come and pick them tomorrow, eh?”

“Alright, I’ll drop by after the morning market.”

Once that business was done, we made our way home.

[Gumihou: I wonder… what other ways would Mukouda ruin the market price of things?]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Tsukkomi – Straight-man attack