I'm Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

When I was eating breakfast at a wonton vendor, a police car slowly split the crowd and parked next to me.

The vendors originally wanted to make an unnecessary racket, but they quieted down and continued to operate their business as usual when they notice the police car didn’t have ‘city management’ written on the sides.

The one driving was a police officer I didn’t recognize, but constable Ma was sitting on the passenger seat. He got off the car and handed me a blue backpack with a stern expression.

Huh, wasn’t this the backpack that was confiscated when someone planted weed on me. Why is the half-empty bottle of drink still here?

“The evidence technicians have already carefully inspected it and haven’t found anything suspicious, so I’m returning it to you.”

Constable Ma said in a businesslike manner without emotions.

If you weren’t obsessed with arresting me, then you would be a model policeman.

It’s fine returning the bag, but why keep the half-empty bottle? It will definitely go bad in the summer heat, there’s already suspicious elements floating on top. If you took the lab to investigate now, you will probably find toxins!

I poured the toxic liquid into the sewers and handed the bottle to an old granny nearby who was collecting recyclables, then I put on my backpack. (TN: For those who don’t know, you can sell plastic bottles in China. Not sure what the price is at now, maybe ¥0.10 a bottle?)

Constable Ma squeezed a few words out his mouth after he saw me finish those actions:

“I can still see through your true personality even if you pretend to be a good person.”

Who’s pretending? Am I a good person simply because I gave an empty bottle to an old granny?

“I’m not pretending.” I said, “Since you can see everything with your eyes, what’s the point of pretending to be a good person? It would be nice if all police were like you and could distinguish who was a criminal at a glance, then they wouldn’t catch the wrong person...”

Constable Ma snorted when he heard I was ridiculing him.

“Kid, there’s a gang made up of teens in Dong Shan City recently stirring up a lot of trouble, you’re not involved, right?”

“I am.” I said as I pointed to myself with my thumb, “I’m their boss. I even tell them to offer a beautiful girl to me every day as a tribute.”

Then constable Ma’s phone rang. His face turned gravely serious after he picked up.

“Stay calm, don’t alert the enemies.” he said, “I’ll be there soon.”

“Also, tell chubby to wear his bulletproof vest. Even if it’s hot, the blubber on his stomach can’t save him twice.”

Constable Ma pointed at me and wanted to say some parting remarks, but he couldn’t think of anything and left with a tragic expression.

Were they going to fight organized crime or to stop drug traffickers? Although Constable Ma was detestable, I still wished him success. Captain Zhao was a good person, it was a shame he passed away. If everyone on the front lines eventually all passes away and get replaced with cowards who are afraid of death, then the crime in Dong Shan city would be as crazy as Mexico.

After I arrived at Film City and reached Ai Mi’s RV. I saw her bodyguards standing in a circle and Ai Mi was in the middle wearing her costume for the film. She had a stethoscope around her neck and was listening to Obama’s heartbeat for fun.

“Lie down, patients aren’t supposed to get up.”

Every time Obama wanted to leap up, Ai Mi would press down on his neck. Even though she had no strength, Obama was obedient to his owner and cooperated by playing dead.

When Ai Mi saw me walking over, she seemed pleased with my unexpected appearance. She patted Obama’s butt to tell him to leave, then she pointed at where the dog was previously lying.

“Manservant, come here. Let me see if your heartbeat is healthy.”

What a childish doctor game. Did you ask your bodyguards to form a circle so no one would see?

But since the grass wasn’t dirty and especially since Obama hadn’t done his business, I listened to my younger sister’s request and carefully laid down.

I had to be careful to protect the egg in my pocket.

Ai Mi was extremely satisfied when she saw me lie down obediently. She leaned over and pressed the stethoscope on my chest.

“Huh? Why can’t I hear clearly? Is it because the manservant is already dead?”

You’re the zombie. You obviously can’t hear clearly because you’re doing it over clothes and it’s not even directly over my heart.

Ai Mi ordered me to unbutton my top and reveal my chest, but I said:

“Why would a patient have the strength to do that? You should be the one to do it as a doctor.”

“I... I’m an advanced doctor who doesn’t handle these miscellaneous tasks.” Ai Mi argued, then she beckoned Peng TouSi: “Come help the manservant unbutton.”

Peng TouSi had a red glow on his face as he accepted the order, it scared me half to death and I quickly unbuttoned myself.

Ai Mi covered her mouth and laughed when she saw me reveal my sturdy chest.

Then she put the cold stethoscope directly over my heart. Damn, it’s cold. I wouldn’t be playing this game if she wasn’t my younger sister.

“Ba-dum, ba-dum”, the sound of my heartbeat was carried through the stethoscope into Ai Mi’s ears. At one point in time, it was like her mind began to wander.

I then became aware of a serious problem.

She was kneeling on the ground while leaning towards me. From my angle, I could see under her skirt.

The costume’s skirt was very short. Although there were magic inscriptions of restriction embroidered on the skirt, it couldn’t stop the gaze of a pervert!

She shouldn’t be doing this on purpose. Since she was just listening to a dog’s heartbeat, she didn’t care if she was exposed, but when she changed to me, she didn’t notice she was exposing herself.

Or is it because Obama and I were on the same level in Ai Mi’s mind?

Don’t compare your brother to a dog! We share the same DNA.

“Why did the patient’s heartbeat get faster?” Ai Mi was puzzled, “He might be dying. Peng TouSi, get the taser.”

I would never tell you my heart started beating faster because I saw your laced panties. Besides, aren’t tasers for defense, not for saving someone?

Soon, Ai Mi was called to the scene. She handed the stethoscope to Peng TouSi unhappily, “You could play with the manservant”, then she stormed on set.

I was on guard against Peng TouSi coming over while thinking to myself with indignation:

I can’t believe she’s wearing sexy underwear at such a young age. Is it because she doesn’t want to be laughed at in case she gets exposed on camera? Lolis should wear loli underwear, the one she’s wearing right now doesn’t suit her at all... she might as well hand it over to me so I could sell it.