Doomed to be Cannon Fodder (Web Novel)

Long Heng clenched his fist even harder. Suddenly, the hidden guard following Bai Xiangxiu returned. He stood beside Long Heng with a dazed look still on his face. Long Heng raised his brows quizzically at the hidden guard. He wanted the guard to tell him why Lin Qianzi was beaten up. That guard turned to face Long Heng as his fingers flickered. This gesture meant that a few sentences wouldn’t be enough to cover the entire story. Just what happened? How can it be such a long story?

Long Heng could only continue watching off on the side. Bai Xiangxiu didn’t kneel. She bluntly said, “In response to Your Majesty, I didn’t push her into the water.”

“This commoner’s wife can testify for Noble Lady Qian. Princess Consort Li must’ve shoved her into the water. After all, they’ve never been in good terms with each other.” Madame Yue actually came up to testify? Bai Xiangxiu immediately broke into laughter when Madame Yue was done talking.

“What’s so funny?!” Madame Yue shouted.

“Nothing. I was just incredibly impressed by Madame Yue. I didn’t realize you were a clairvoyant. How could you possibly know whether I shoved her into the water or not? You weren’t even there! These ladies here can testify that.” Bai Xiangxiu pointed at the ladies, who were also very puzzled. Their horses had been spooked, so even though Madame Yue had proposed a search for the two, their startled horses had already run off quite a distance. Someone else had already rescued the noble lady and princess consort by the time they had gotten back. How could they possibly have had the time to gaze at the river when they were so focused on trying to regain control of their horses? Moreover, it was too far to actually see what was going on in the river anyways.

“But… It’s true that both of you have never been on good terms.” Madam Yue was now twisting words and logic. She’d decided to give Lin Qianzi a hand because they’ve been close friends before she had even married. Unfortunately, a number of rabbits had jumped out of nowhere and startled the horses just when she was just about to arrive at the river. She would’ve been thrown off her horse and injured if she hadn’t known how to ride properly.

“How could we possibly be on bad terms? At that time, Miss… Noble Lady Qian wanted to wash her face by the river and only asked me to accompany her. She could’ve asked any of you. Why would she ask me to accompany her if we are on bad terms with each other? Why would anyone invite their enemy to accompany them for such a thing? Are they insane?” Bai Xiangxiu’s temper was now a little different compared to the time she’d first arrived in this world. She used to be someone who kept to herself, but she was now a little more dominant. It couldn’t be helped; there was simply too many sly and deceitful people around her. She had no choice but to become stronger.

Song Jiaoyue broke into laughter, even though he shouldn’t be making any sounds in the crowd. However, the way she was using her hands to emphasize her argument was simply too funny. The crowd soon followed Song Jiaoyue’s lead and roared into laughter. Princess Consort Li did make a good argument for herself. Even though the words she’d chosen were a bit vulgar, it was quite obviously due to frustration.

Lin Qianzi immediately realized that her plan had gone awfully wrong. It was all Bai Xiangxiu’s fault for playing such an illogical card! She gritted her teeth and retorted, “That’s not true. I only wished to get to know Princess Consort Li better since she’s no longer a concubine. We will definitely meet very regularly in the future.”

“Noble Lady Qian must be thinking too much. You reside in the palace while I am nothing but a commoner. Why would we meet regularly?” There was a bit of a smirk on Bai Xiangxiu’s face, which made Lin Qianzi’s complexion turn even more ashen.

“What I’m trying to say is that I was only doing this for the sake of His Majesty. But I never expected that you’d shove me into the river and that you’d even… beat me up while I was in the water!”

“Where’s the proof?”

The hidden guard began to complain inwardly. He was the biggest witness! However, his illusions were currently still lying in shattered shards around his feet.

Lin Qianzi started to shed tears again. “The injuries I’ve received on my body is the proof! And… also this one on my face.” After that, she raised her hand and pointed at the handprint that Luo Yunzheng had left on her face. She’d never imagined that his heartlessness would end up helping her instead. It was such an odd turn of events.

Everyone’s expressions changed after they saw the handprint on her face, Prince Li as well. The emperor also frowned and coldly remarked, “Princess Consort Li. You were the only person accompanying her at that time. Are you telling me that she slapped herself?”

“Maybe. Who’s to say that she didn’t?” Someone in the crowd snorted, which caused the crowd to roar into laughter again.

The emperor remained calm. Deep inside, he genuinely felt that she deserved to be slapped. It was her own fault that her reputation was being destroyed. Minister Lin suddenly came to the fore and dropped to his knees. “Your Majesty, please deliver justice for my daughter! She is now part of the royal family, even though it was this loyal subject’s fault for not raising her well. By beating my daughter up, isn’t this more than enough proof that the princess consort has no respect for you?”

The emperor looked back at Bai Xiangxiu again. For some reason, he genuinely wanted to see how she was going to talk her way out of this. However, all he saw was the frown on her face, which made her seemed very pitiful and adorable. She then sneezed violently and replied with a smile after sniffling a little, “There’s no way she slapped herself.”

“Why do you say that?” The emperor was curious. For what reason did she say that it was impossible that she slapped herself?

Bai Xiangxiu pointed at her face, “If she slapped herself, the thumb pint should be facing downwards instead of facing up.”

Everyone secretly praised Bai Xiangxiu for her wit when they realized how much sense she made. But wasn’t this also proof that she was the person who slapped the noble lady? Long Heng shook his head. He was curious where she learned all these things, as her brain was genuinely filled with all these weird ideas.

Bai Xiangxiu was proud of herself. She might not have read a lot of books, but she had twenty years of accumulated knowledge from watching television shows! It was only logical that she’d remember some of these tropes. This time, she was putting her knowledge from detective films into good use!

“Does that mean you were the one who beat her?” The emperor’s voice no longer sounded cold. In fact, he seemed a little interested.

“This is only proof that someone had slapped Noble Lady Qian. It doesn’t mean that it was I.”

“Do you have proof?”

“Of course.” Bai Xiangxiu walked up to Lin Qianzi, “Does anyone know what’s the difference between a man’s hand and a woman’s hand?”

Some busybody among the crowd replied, “A man has a bigger hand than a woman, right?”

Bai Xiangxiu looked towards him and gently smiled, “Yes. You are correct.” She then looked at Lin Qianzi in the eye and placed her hand on the latter’s cheek.

The handprint on Lin Qianzi’s face spanned across half of her face. The emperor’s complexion turned green before Bai Xiangxiu even placed her hand on Lin Qianzi’s face. How could he not turn green? Lin Qianzi had very obviously been slapped by a man. The handprint was significantly bigger than Bai Xiangxiu’s hand. The emperor didn’t care that Lin Qianzi was using little schemes to attack Long Heng and his wife. It didn’t even matter that her schemes were being revealed. However, a noble lady had been slapped by some other man! This was obviously inappropriate! Moreover, the man who’d slapped her was surely not the emperor himself, as he’d been sitting here the whole time!

So, this meant that even the emperor himself was nearly, or had been cucked by some other man! Lin Qianzi received quite a fright as well. She immediately kowtowed for mercy, “No! Your Majesty! It’s… It’s…”

“What is going on? Who was the man who slapped you?!” The emperor slammed the table in a fit of anger. He’d finally admitted defeat in front of Lin Qianzi’s apparent lack of wit. He should’ve personally slapped her. Why would she conjure up a scheme that was so easily exposed by others? Her incompetence had even brought shame to him! Just how stupid must she be to be able to do something like this? Moreover, she’d allowed Bai Xiangxiu to pick her scheme apart in front of everyone! This was unforgivable!

The emperor was in no mood to show her any more mercy. She simply brought too much trouble for what she was worth.