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A Bored Lich

Chapter 162 - Amphiboards
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"No one going back?" General Marble asked. "Well, I'm sure you all have a reason to go forward then." He gave a quick, half-hearted smile before sweeping his gaze across the four. "Some advice from someone who's been in your shoes before. Hang onto that reason. Cling to it, because on your darkest day, it just might be thing that keeps you going."

"With that out of the way," General Marble's expression hardened as he pointed ahead, at the hundreds of long, oval-like pieces of wood lining the shore, the shore they could see anyway. Each one had a strange black-tipped oar lying across the top.

"We call these Amphiboards, a strange contraption developed by a powerful Lich centuries ago. They aren't much good for fighting on, but whether it be on land or water, these things will get you over it. You each get one." A shrill cry resounded through the swamp. General Marble's hand flashed to one of two swords at his waist, his eyes narrowing into the mist with a bit of copper life essence.

After waiting a few seconds, he let go and looked back to the group. "This area might not look like much, just a bunch of plants, water, and mud, but there are things lurking in the mist, just out of the corner of your eye." He pointed to his eye patch. "I got this my first day, when I was a student like you three, from an alligator I named Silent Bitch. I found out later that others call her Guardian. If you see a big ass alligator and manage to kill it, let me know so I can shit in its mouth." The four raised their eyebrows. "Anyway," General Marble chuckled. "don't get careless, or it could cost you more than an eye and a leg."

"Why are we supposed to use these?" Thomas asked as he lept on one of the boards and immediately slipped off and belly flopped into the water, flailing about like a dying fish, except funnier. Everyone but Thomas chuckled as he got up and looked at the mud covering his body.

General Marble leaned over to Frey. "He's not very patient, is he?"

"No, he's not." Frey chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?" General Marble growled. "You're just as laughable, giving yourself away so quick just like Doevm." Frey's face drained of color as General Marble grabbed him by the arm and leaned so close that Frey could smell the tobacco on his breath.

"If this was a year or two ago, I would have thrown you out of the academy you scum. Who do you think you are, taking a commoner's hard-earned spot in the initiation by going around the rules?" he released Frey, who stepped back. "Luckily, even our Kingdom needs men, no matter how stupid they may be." He alternated his gazes between Doevm and Frey. "To answer Tom's question."

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"It's Thomas, sir," Thomas chimed in. General Marble glared at him until Thomas lowered his head.

"To answer Thomas's question, the boards are how ye," he coughed. "You will navigate through the swamp. Half of the swamp is water and the other half is plant-filled, unstable land. Unless you have a good eye, you can't always tell which is which. This is your best bet; something helps you move just above everything that you can hop off of easily. There was some explanation about how it works, some mumbo jumbo about artifacts and how it uses just barely enough energy to float. The most I remember is a word called "hover" or something like that. It should have just enough energy to get you through initiation."

"Your destination, the academy, is between those two mountains over yonder," he pointed through the dense fog. The group cocked their heads to the side. "Oh," he chuckled. "I guess you guys can't see. Use this," He pulled a telescopic lens from his spatial ring and handed it to Doevm, who extended it and looked the way which General Marble had pointed.

"I still don't see anything but fog," Doevm said as he squinted.

"Kid, you got to use your life essence," the General said.

"I am, but I still don't see anything," Doevm lowered the telescope and pointed to his eye, which was covered in a layer of blue life essence.

"Can I try?" Elero asked. Doevm shrugged and handed it over. Elero condensed blue life essence around her eye and peered through it. "We have to go all that way?" she asked as she folded the telescope up and handed it back to General Marble.

"Those are some sharp eyes," General Marble said as he threw the telescope into his spatial ring. "I'll keep my eye on you. It's not every day that I meet someone so perceptive. Now, before ye," he coughed again. "Before you all set off, you should know about the competition. This fog is filled with creatures, which you are more than encouraged to seek out and kill. In fact, you get points for taking them down. The team who comes back with the most points gets something more valuable than gold. They get…"

He let out a long sigh before saying in the most defeated voice, "The Super Sweet Swamp Souvenir." He slid a hand down his face as if wiping away his shame. "Goddess I hate that Von Trike guy. Basically, the winner gets all the carcasses collected in the initiation to be turned into equipment, sold, turned into a place for me to shit on, whatever you sick fucks want."

All but Doevm reeled back. "Sir, are you ok?" Elero asked. "mentally?"

"I'm fine," General Marble said. "I just really want to skin that damned reptile. No one in the time since I've been here has been able to slay it, and they won't let me finish it off. At this rate she's going to die of natural causes rather than a sword up the ass like I planned. Not many want to go after her. They would rather go the numerous but weak route of gaining points."

"And what's to stop us from taking our time and killing more before we arrive at the academy?" Doevm asked.

"A time limit," the General said. "You have a week." He handed over a scroll to each member of the group. "here are the points system. I can't explain everything because I need to prep the other groups and send you all off in different directions. Alexander will give a speech on the most important rules before you all set off. Good luck. You'll need it. Oh, I almost forgot." He pulled a metallic rod from his spatial ring and handed it to Elero. "This is a shooting star. Point the end with runes on it to the sky and activate it to signal you need help. If you use it, you are out of the competition. In addition, we won't get there instantly so plan accordingly."

"Now there is an option to opt out of this competition. You can just skip it and get to the academy as quick as you can. Just know that, if you choose the easy route, it will come back to bite you later, when things get tough. Get stronger now, it's why you're here. I need to go prep the other groups. Don't go into the swamp yet. I don't want anyone getting early advantages, well, too many early advantages." He glanced at each unmoving face and smiled: "Good men...and woman."

"Lastly, please try to cooperate with each other. I understand that you nobles might think lesser of commoners, but that truly does not have any purpose when you are fighting side by side. I know you won't change after this competition, no matter what Von Trike believes. Just get through it and go back to your normal bitterness towards each other."

He limped back into the initiation room, leaving the four at the shore with nothing to do but kick at the muddy earth. While Thomas, Frey, and Doevm knew each other, they didn't try to start conversation out of pity, knowing Elero would be immediately excluded. Eye contact was avoided as an awkward silence set in. They just cast their heads down and waited, and waited, and waited, for over an hour.

"So," Frey was the first to speak out, fresh out of patience. Everyone's heads snapped to him, anticipating some sort of break from the torturous wait. "H-how about we introduce ourselves?" he stuttered.

"I'm Elero Mech," Elero said.

"Doevm."

"Frey."

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"T-Thomas Virility," Thomas stammered, his face reddening a little bit.

More time passed, too much for Thomas to handle. He turned back to the shore and placed a foot on one of the many Amphiboards, preparing to shift his weight from his stable back foot to the Amphiboard.

"Don't get impatient Thomas," Frey said. "We aren't supposed to be leaving yet. We need to wait for the others to get here."

"I can't wait that long," Thomas sighed. "I'm bored just standing here. I need something to do. I won't leave. I'll just stand. Watch." So that's what the three did, watching Thomas as he examined the Amphiboard and tried pushing his weight in various places. When he finally picked up his back foot and placed it on the board next to his other, the board wiggled, then flew out from under him. Frey smirked as Thomas's body once again slapped the mud and spreading it everywhere.

"Watch it," Frey clicked his tongue, looking at his pants splattered with mud. "How hard is it to stand still?"

"You try it," Thomas shot as he pulled himself out of the mud, losing a boot in the process. As he dug for it, Frey walked towards one of the Amphiboards. "Try not to fall you behemoth! You'll drain this place dry."

"I might be big but at least I have balance," Frey said as he slowly shifted his weight onto another Amphiboard.

"Don't fall!" Thomas said as he moved around Frey. "Just look at something that isn't moving. I hear that helps. Do not look at me."

Elero suppressed a chuckle as Frey flailed around and fell right where Thomas had, making a tsunami of mud cover everything in the vicinity. Other groups must have seen them because they tried to stand on the Amphiboards as well, only to fall off.

Thomas laughed as Doevm and Elero grimaced: "See. It is hard isn't it?"

"Fine. I will give you that," Frey said, pulling plants out of his muddy clothes. "Doevm, why don't you try it?"

"Sure, why not?" Doevm said as he pushed past Frey and put a foot on an Amphiboard.

Thomas and Frey glanced at each other. "Just like that?" Thomas asked. "You'll just stand on the board of your own free will? Are you the same Doevm that I know?"