NovelEnglishChapter 0441
Eli becmore insistent that he know where | was at all times after that. When we are together, he is
affectionate and loving. We have always been physical in our relationship, but it was different now. It was as if he
were desperate to letknow how much he needsand loves me. He's terrified that he’s going to lose me.
| understand why he’s feeling that way. I'm the key, the central point in the power source of the Guardians. Cara
and Angel can pull from me, but without the strength of my mind link, they can’t go further than that. | can tap
into the power of not only my sisters and their mates, but also every member of all three of our packs. | haven't
been vocal about that. | don’t want to scare anyone, but when | connect with them, it’s almost like candles
getting lit in my mind. As each person in their pack connects to the link, the candles light and | can see them in
my mind. It’s strange and it's overwhelming. It also means that | can hear them. Between the three packs we
have close to
1500 wolves. That's a lot of voices in your head at one time. It’s why I'm so exhausted after
training.
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So, without me, they are strong and powerful, but only individually. With me, our strength pools
together we becinvincible. It's why I'm not as concerned about the hunters as Eli is. | know that we can
defeat them. | know there will be casualties and that makesangry. These hunters coming to take away our
lives, our happiness. And for what? Because we are different than they are? Because we intimidate them with
our strength and heightened senses. They fear us, so they
must destroy us?
It makesangrier because we are having a baby boom in our pack right now. With so many recently mated
couples, it’s not surprising. Amber and Carlos are expecting their baby boy in the less than a month. | think they
probably got pregnant at the tournament just like Angel. She and Liam are expecting their little girl in the next
month as well.
Sirona tolda couple weeks ago that she and Noah are expecting. She’s very excited and she and Amber love
to talk about their pregnancies and baby planning every tthey are together.
I'm happy for them, truly | am. But, it hasn't happened forand Eli. It's not for our lack of trying. Eli has been
more than happy to practice baby making any and every t| want. I've talked to Sirona about it and she says
that between all the stress that we've been under, the changes in our pack, getting off my birth control, and
Guardian training, that it’s not surprising it hasn't happened. She’s toldto be patient and let it happen, but
it’s hard. It feels like every day someone new is tellingthat they are having a baby. And every day, I'm still
not pregnant.
Just yesterday, Tula toldshe and Thomas are expecting. That is only a week after Lelani and Lolana told me
they are both expecting.
#15 BONOS
It’s like everywhere | look, the pack is in baby mode. Cammy and Melinda have the kitchen staff making baby
food. Jeremy is busy making bassinets, cradles and toddler beds. Anna and her staff are making baby clothes as
fast as they can for not just our pack, but the other two as well.
| know Eli can feel my sadness at our inability to conceive. | know he wants a child as much as | do. But | think
it’s different as a woman. It feels like my body isn’t doing what it was made to do. Something that seems so easy
for everyone else, is beginning to seem impossible for me. Everyone tellsI'm young, and | have plenty of
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏmtime. And that’s true. But I'm an Alpha female. What does it say aboutthat everyone in my pack, including
the sprites, are pregnant and having babies, but their Alpha and Luna can’t conceive.
And while | know that Eli is nothing like my father, and he has assuredthat he will loveno matter what,
somewhere deep in my mind, | fear that he will rejectif | can’t have a child. That fear is what keeps me
awake at night. The fear that it doesn’t matter how strong | am, doesn’t matter than I’m an Alpha female and a
Guardian, if | can’t have a child, would that be enough for
him to leave me?
So, while I lay awake at night, and try my best to cover my growing fear and sadness from my mate, | smile
every day, making appropriate sounds of excitement to mother’s announcing their pregnancy. | make cooing
sounds when | hold new babies, secretly sniffing their baby scent and feeling my heart ache to hold my own
child.
+15 BONDS
Chapter 0442
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