theory, being in this lifestyle long enough, I tend to witness a lot of different things.”
I bow my head and feel as though I’ve been punched in the gut multiple times. I did this to Ella. I turned her into someone who
needs pain to get off, or to feel better. How can I face her after learning all of this?
I glance back up at Master Thane, “Would she forgive her bully and then enter a sexual relationship with him because she has
feelings for him or is it because she wants to keep her bully happy?”
“That’s hard to say without knowing them personally, but I guess it could go either way.” He says as he thinks hard, trying to
come up with an answer for me, “My thoughts in this situation would be that if the victim came to me after the bullying had
relationship, then I would think that the victim would only be entering the relationship because she feels like she’s being bullied
into it.”
That right there, Thane’s words, they bring my entire world down. All I can think about now is how Ella may not love me like she
thinks she does. Did I bully her into being with me? I know I pushed and pushed, but surely, she would have told me off if it
wasn’t what she wanted, right? I can’t stay here right now. I thank Thane for his time and tell him that I just remembered
something and that I have to go, letting him know that I will call to set up another meeting as soon as I can figure my schedule
out. Of course, it’s a lie, because if I end up losing Ella, then there is no reason for me needing him. I don’t want to dominate
anyone else; Ella is it.
After my meeting, I don’t go home, and I don’t go back to the Training Center. I need to get my head on straight and think about
6/7
what I’m going to do to make this right, because as of right now, I may have to give my girl up in order to see if she really does
love me. So, instead, I head to the Gym to take my frustrations out on weights and punching bags.
It’s been a while since I’ve been here and it feels good to hit something as hard as I can, pummeling the object until sweat runs
down my body and my arms tire. I step back from the punching bag as I try to catch my breath. After a two-hour workout, I’m
feeling good, physically, but not much better mentally or emotionally. I still don’t know what I’m going to do, but I know that I need
to talk to Ella about it before I make any decisions. I refuse to make any more assumptions when it concerns Ella.
TJA
Looking at the time, it isn’t as late as I thought it would be, so I pull off the wrap that I have around my hands and pull out my
phone. Finding Ella’s name, I hit the video call button and wait for her to answer. It rings a few times, and I start to think that she
isn’t going to answer, but then the call picks up and I see my beautiful girl on my screen.
“Hey, handsome. I wasn’t expecting you to call.” She gives me the smile that she only reserves for me.
“Hello beautiful,” I smile back but I’m sure it doesn’t reach very far, “We need to talk.”..