Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

"What do you want, Gabriel? As you can see, I'm not really in the mood to talk." I get up from the floor while wiping away my tears.

Lilly's words were still stuck in my head, shreddingover and over again. Running my hands through my locks, I tried to get rid of the pain I was feeling. I knew this was going to come. I knew that she probably wouldn't take it well.

I mean, would you take it well if your mom told you that the man you thought was your father wasn't? That you've been lied to and no one bothered to tell you the truth until they had to. I feel her and I understand her reaction. I just don't know how to react to her words and the pain I saw in her eyes.

"She didn't mean it," Gabriel said, walking further into my room.

I glare at him, feeling something ugly rising inside me. "And how would you know? You don't even know her well enough to tellthat she didn't mean it." "And whose fault is that?" he spit out, glaring back at me.

I was angry and hurt. I was looking for a fight. A way to distractfrom the pain I was currently feeling. Gabriel was my target, after all, he was the bane of my fucking existence.

"And I would have told you if you hadn't been such a fucking asshole," I snapped, getting close to him. "You were a man-child whore who thought about no one but himself. Why would I want my precious daughter near your disease-infested self?" I jammed my fingers on his chest, mastering all the frustration and anger I was feeling. I hated him so much. Was it too hard for him to loveback then? To givea fucking chance? If he hadn't pushedaway and treatedhorribly, we wouldn't be here.

Now he's cback and as selfish as he's always been, he has thought about no one but himself. He's turned my life upside down all over again and I despise him for that.

"Don't try to blme for your fucking mistakes." The anger in his voice was clear, but unlike before, this tit didn't scare me. "I'm not trying to do anything; I'm telling you facts. I blyou and your fucking arrogant, selfish ways. Just like before, you thought of no one but yourself. About what you would have to lose. You didn't think aboutor the fact that I didn't want you in my life. You didn't think about Lilly and how you being in her life would unravel her world... No, you only thought about what you wanted. No one else matters." Placing my palms on his chest, I pushed him, but it didn't do a thing. He was pure solid muscle and my little effort didn't even move him an inch. That madeeven more frustrated and bitter.

"Whatever happened a few minutes ago isn't on me, Harper," he grabbed my hand when I went to push him again. "That's all on you for failing to tell her the truth. What were you going to do if I hadn't shown up? Continue lying to her, letting her believe that the fucker who raised her is her biological father. That's cruel even for you." "Shut up!" I cried feebly. "If only you'd stayed away, none of this would be happening. Why couldn't you just stay away? Why couldn't you just find another wife?" Ripping my hand from his, I start pacing the room, feeling agitated. I wanted to go to my daughter, but I knew her. She wouldn't want to seeright now. It would make her angrier if I invaded her space before she was able to process everything on her own.

She was hurting, and I couldn't do a fucking thing about it. I hated that so much. I just wanted to hold her and apologize. Dropping weakly on my bed, I covered my face and let the tears fall. I didn't care if I was crying and being weak in front of him. I just wanted Lilly. I did her wrong, but I wanted us to be alright. I wanted her to take back her words. I wanted her to understand. "Harper," he called, this this voice was soft.

"She hates me, and I can't even tell her the whole truth. How can I tell her the reason why I left or the reason why didn't tell you about her? How do I explain to her that I you loathed me, that she wasn't planned, and that I was afraid that if I told you, you would askto get rid of her? I was afraid you'd hate her just like you hated me. How do I tell her that our marriage was nothing but hell? Tell me, Gabriel, how can I tell her the truth without tarnishing your nin the process?" I couldn't hold it anymore, and the sob escaped my lips involuntarily.

I continued. "How can I tell her that I was only protecting her?" "You never have to protect her from me, Harper... I will always be there for her." I pull my hands away and look up at him. "Sure, right now, but what about back then? Letask you, what would you have done if I'd told you 1 was pregnant? Would you have accepted her knowing she'd be cramping your lifestyle? Would you even have believed me?" His silence tellseverything I need to know. He wouldn't have believed me, thinking I was trying to trap him and even after proving that it's true I was pregnant, he mostly likely wouldn't have cared. He wouldn't have wanted anything or anyone interfering with his bachelor life. Sniffing, I stare at the carpet floor, my mind a mess. My vision was blurry due to my tears, but when I wiped them away, Gabriel was squatting in front of me.

"Harper..." he called, but I didn't look at him.

It's after he touches my hand that I look at him. His hand was warm on mine. My eyes shift from his piercing eyes to the hand that was on my forearm.

"Don't worry, I'll go talk to her," he said softly, and before I could react, he was up and gone.

I continue staring at my forearm transfixed. I'm surprised because this is the first tGabriel has ever touchedintentionally.

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