Playboy Cultivator in the Apocalypse

--Present time: Lockheed Mansion--

Kaze flicked his wrist with Kylie in a princess carry, making a wall of the basement warp as if it were underwater.

Before any could ask what was happening, he walked straight through the wall, with the brunette flailing, thinking she'd crash into the wall.

Everyone blinked in disbelief, aside from Sage, who had burning feelings of petty jealousy.

She didn't have abnormal jealousy--she was just salty.

Sage helped Kaze immensely by helping execute his and Veronica's operation to destroy his enemies. Yet her friend shamelessly worked his way into his bed instead.

She stewed over it with a wry smile for an hour and a half before a new spatial rift opened.

Kaze walked through the same wall with Kylie, whose stupid smile and body language were surreal.

She looked like she mistook Xanax for chocolates, ate a handful, and abruptly forgot the meaning of stress, fear of pain, or the value of responsibility.

If people weren't traumatized into trusting Kaze and didn't know he was a sex god, they'd immediately suspect a crime occurred.

"W-What happened to you, Kylie?" Brad asked in confusion.

"Good things." Kylie replied dumbly, "Great things. Oh my god, the best things."

The woman's body shivered in ecstasy when she looked at Kaze and then turned to everyone with a woozy motion.

"Before anyone asks, this was normal dual cultivation." Kaze replied with a charming voice as he helped Kylie sit down, as her legs gave out, "If you use Minor Vision, you'll see her improvements."

People immediately followed his directive. When they did, gasps waved through the room until everyone was stunned by what they saw.

A particular person broke the silence, as always.

"Scrawn fuuuuuuuuuuu!" Larkin yelled to the sky with his elbows pulled back, releasing a battle cry.

A dozen people cheered by reflex, following the jester's hype-man actions. The energy spread through the room, and half the people clapped in confusion.

"To address the obvious, it's an unfair advantage, but such is life." He chuckled, turning back to the wall.

"Now, if I don't leave, many might flood me with inquiries or offers, and tonight will become problematic. So just be happy for Kylie and enjoy your night."

"Bye, Kaze!" Kylie called out dramatically, showcasing that she hadn't lost her playfulness after the soul-eating sexual experience she just had, "I'll miss you!"

"I'll be back tomorrow." Kaze laugh-scoffed, rolling his eyes playfully, "And oh... Sage, you have my gratitude. Your actions and leadership helped everyone. I won't forget it."

Sage looked at the emperor with confused, trembling eyes. However, before she could speak, he had already disappeared.

Very few cared about his final statement. They immediately turned to Kylie with excited expressions.

"Oh~Kylieeeeee." A woman chimed, "You gonna tell us what happened, gurl?"

"Come one, tell us!"

"How big was it?"

Kylie instantly got slammed with dozens of questions, as she was the first [student] from Lockheed to have intercourse with him.

"It was magical." She smiled dreamily, triggering giggles and laughter, "What happened was--"

--55 minutes ago: Kaze's bedroom--

Kylie blinked and found herself in Kaze's room. Only a second before, he picked her up in a princess carry in Lockheed Mansion; now, she was staring at his luxurious poster bed.

She turned to him and found him looking at [something] with an aghast expression.

The brunette followed his eyes and found a beautiful woman with unnatural amethyst eyes in a cute green frog hoodie lying on his bed.

"You...." Kaze chuckled ominously, glaring at her in disbelief, "First, it's 7 pm; why are you sleeping?

Second, you have a secure room, so why are you still in mine?"

Crux pawed at her eyes with her human hands. "What's the problem? It's a bed. The purpose of a bed is to sleep, yes?"

Kaze's eyes twitched at the horrifying declaration. "Cultivators do not require sleep if they cultivate, so no, the purpose of beds isn't sleeping--it's to lay with partners."

The royal divine beast sat up, looked to the emperor's side, and found herself gazing at a mortal with cultivation so low she didn't sense her.

"Who's this!?" Crux cried in Skylain, their shared Sky Plane language, pulling her hood against her head and checking her tail was masked by the blanket on her.

Kylie's heart pounded, looking between Kaze and Crux. They appeared to be arguing, but she didn't know because they were speaking an unworldly language!

She felt like she was a booty call caught by the girlfriend. It was highly uncomfortable.

Kaze looked at Kylie's mortified expression and sighed. "Crux, the words for 'misunderstanding' and 'I'm not his lover' are [I'm not his girlfriend, just sexually desperate]."

The divine beast frowned, understanding how uncomfortable the trembling ant beside him was.

She didn't know that Kylie was sweating because she knew Kaze was leading her to say something embarrassing and potentially wrong!

"You've brought a powerless beggar to a banquet, and you want me to ease their concerns?" Crux scoffed in disdain, "Do you have no pride as a cultivator?"

"There's a powerless woman in my bed to whom I gave power and a banquet of techniques." Kaze replied sarcastically, "Yet she's begging me to stay as if she hasn't pride."

Crux flushed red in severe embarrassment and shot up from her position. She was indignant and shamed by his statement, but she couldn't argue and refused to.

So she gritted her small fangs before sighing and looking at Kylie.

"I'm... not his girl-fri-end, just... sex-u-al-ly des-perate." Crux sounded out, "He... marvelous and impressive."

Kylie's eyes widened in bewilderment. It occurred to her that this wasn't the first time he had given the woman the wrong words to use!

Unable to restrain herself, she burst into giggles.

​ "What did you tell me to say!?" Crux cried with a red face and puffy cheeks.

The outburst caused Kylie to giggle more since the frog hoodie-wearing woman was pouting like a child, not threatening him with death.

"You apologized for the miscommunication." Kaze smiled, "However... you're [still] using impressive and marvelous as if they're negative terms.

That means you cannot see the obvious, refuse to, or are lazy and find them convenient.

All make you deserving of ridicule instead of my communication techniques."

The shadow cat's face turned redder, and she turned away in shame. "Mortals are weak, and cultivators mock the weak.

So why must you constantly belittle me for doing so?"

"I'm not disparaging you for mocking mortals for their weaknesses." Kaze laugh-scoffed, "I ridicule you for mocking them for their strengths.

You berate them even now as you desperately beg to stay, praying I'll let you continue enjoying this bed in your beloved hoodie, basking in the ultimate comfort of your purple rayon panties.

Or am I wrong?"

Crux's eyes trembled, and she turned away again, mortified and ashamed.

"Hoh? If you refuse to answer, I suppose the discussion is over." Kaze remarked in a hypnotic voice, waving his hand.

"Okay, so mortal products are--aghhhhhhHHH!" Crux screamed when she fell through the bed and into another, bouncing in the air before crashing into a pillow, "Wh-what the hell was that!?"

She looked around in fear, assessing her surroundings. When she did, she found herself in another room with similar furniture.

The shadow cat looked at the soft thing below her and found it was another bed. The only difference was the bedding, but the difference wasn't a deal breaker.

It was still so soft! Such a bed wasn't even available to royals!

Despite that--

"This strange and fantastic bed is not much different than his." Crux frowned, squeezing the pillows, "So why does it feel so... unsatisfying?

Am I addicted to that man's smell so much? Or is it because I enjoy laying with another--"

Her face heated up in exasperation, realizing that his offensively absurd statement that the only purpose of beds was to sleep with others was true for cultivators!

"I've never been so humiliated." She said with the eyes of a dead fish.

"That man sees no value in my nobility, treats me like a child, and somehow triggers me to act like one.

Then I get ridiculed again--deservingly--and pout, earning me more ridicule. It's a vicious cycle!"

Crux let her head crash into a pillow. "I'm so pathetic."

Meanwhile--

"W-What was that?" Kylie said with fearful eyes. The woman on his bed was arguing with him, then Kaze waved his hand, and she fell into an alternate dimension.

The brunette didn't know where it went. Hell? A torture room? Another planet?

It was brutally unceremonious and mysterious! Horrifying even!

"She's obsessed with my bed and smell, so she's been staying here despite having her own room." Kaze explained, "So I sent her back to her room down the hall."

Kylie was stunned by the simplicity of the situation. "She's obsessed with your smell? Why?"

"It's complicated." He smiled, "But she's addicted to laundry detergent and my smell. Fragrances are very rare and expensive where she's from."

The brunette cocked her head slightly. "If it's important, why don't you just give her a pillow?"

"Hoh! Wonderful idea." Kaze grinned with crazed eyes after the suggestion, making her shiver.

The emperor picked up one of his pillows, radiating it with a golden light.

Kylie watched the beautiful sight in awe. However, her praise didn't last long.

A second later, Kaze flicked his hand to create a spatial riff and--

Crux caught a whiff of a familiar smell, so she investigated, looking to the ceiling just in time to watch a pillow crash into her face at thirty miles an hour.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?" She cried in anger.

The shadow cat looked down at the pillow, confused why the item didn't explode like buildings.

"T-That... that man!" Crux growled in vexation, "He wasted Soul Qi just to make this pillow indestructible!?"

The divine beast got up from her bed and threw open the door in a rage, stomping down the hallway in her cute frog hoodie, determined to punish him somehow.

However, a moment later, the ground under the shadow cat warped, making the hallway look like it was under shallow water.

Crux tried jumping, but there was nothing to jump off, so she fell through the floor and crashed into her bed again. "That jerk!"

The divine beast got up again but considered the situation.

If she did, he'd just send her back over and over for ultimate humiliation.

She was confident he'd succeed with his skill even if she transformed and ran at full speed.

Crux huffed indignantly and let her face crash into a pillow again.

However, this time her eyes widened.

It was Kaze's pillow.

The royal shadow cat's eyes lit up in excitement, making her blush and feel shame for her creepy enthusiasm.

However, she quickly dropped the act and let her face snuggle into the pillow.

As a divine beast with a sensitive sense of smell, the Mortal Plane [and] Sky Plane reeked more often than not.

Yet laundry detergent and the smell of a soul cultivator with a peak divine body were heavenly.

Paired with the comfort of the bed, she didn't want to get up in the mornings.

So Crux curled up in a ball and savored her environment, forgetting about Kaze Lexicon or his mocking behavior.