Lazy Dungeon Master

Commencement

“Today’s weather is pretty good.”

Waking up in the morning, Leona walked outside her cabin and stretched. Inside her hut was the thick, sweet fragrance of Succubi. It was good to the point that she’d started getting groggy and even fell asleep while loving on the Succubi, but today she felt fully revitalized.

As if to say that this was a place they could live peacefully, the Succubi were fully enjoying their life of little work and adequate food. They were still completely on guard a few days before, but they’d already grown lax.

‘… There’s so much free time…’ is what Leona thought.

“Maybe I should use [Short Teleportation] and play around in the village… nn?”

Just then, she saw a suspiciously red button.

… The last time she’d pushed a button, she suddenly had eggplants appear over her head. But there’s no way she could do something as boring as not push it.

She hesitated for just a moment, but a pair of Succubi just happened to be passing by. It was Suira and Michiru.

“Suira, Michiru. One of you, please press this button.”

“Huh? What does the button do, Leona-sama?”

“Kay! Like this? …!?”

Seeing Suira tilt her head to the side in doubt, Michiru pressed the button without reservation.

With that, a hole opened up in the ground and not only Michiru, but even Leona and Suira, fell into it.

“Hyaaaah! What just happened!?”

“Kyaaaah!? Leona-samaaaaa!”

“Oh wow, it’s much more extensive than I thought it’d be.”

The pitfall trap that had practically reached the point of being a slide led to a place with a mat placed out in front of it.

The three of them fell onto the large white mat in a dimly lit room.

“Uuu, what happened? What was that?”

“A pitfall trap… I think? Leona-sama, what was it?”

“You had it, it’s a trap!”

Leona looked happy.

[Ladies and gentleme—… ah, just ladies! Well, ladies, welcome to today’s brand new floor!] [1]

It was a voice that sounded like it went through a loudspeaker—Euma’s voice.

At the same time, lights lit up the floor. They were in a small room. Other than the mat they’d fallen butt-first onto and the door right in front of them with a banner that said [Starting Point] in this world’s language, the room looked relatively ordinary.

Having greeted the three, Euma then appeared wearing a yellow bow tie and holding a microphone. The bow tie was made out of a shiny yellow cloth that sparkled and looked very much like something that belonged on a ridiculous party host.

“Golem-san! What’s going on? Is this a trap!?”

[Fu fu fu, calm down, Michiru. Truthfully, I had a thought: I made a new floor, so I should give it a trial run… As the person who pressed that button, you did notice the agreement noted nearby it, correct?]

“I did not!”

[Really? Alright, then you may take the stairs to your right if you want to leave.]

Euma pointed to a wall. With a rumbling sound, a hole opened up in it and a stairway appeared.

[… So, assuming Michiru will be heading back, what about you two?]

“Ah, I’m so doing it. This looks interesting.”

“Leona-sama!? … I-I’ll accompany you…!”

“Y-yeah… if Onee-sama is going to, I’ll…”

[You’re going to join in then, Michiru? In that case, all three of you, step riiiight up! Please, head into the next room.”

Euma opened the [Starting Point]’s door and bowed in a respectful gesture, urging them on. As for it having such human traits despite being a Golem, the three of them just let it slide as it being the usual.

Getting accustomed to a Golem talking in the first place was weird enough.

The first room was an abrupt slope. It was even at a steep angle, as well as having water flow down it. At the top of the slope was a door, the door heading to the following room.

Taking a side path at some point in time, Euma was already standing next to that door.

[Now then, their first barrier… The Slope! Will these challengers be able to reach the door at the slope’s summit!?]

“Can’t you do something with your naming sense?”

[Ooh, that’s a good question, Leona-san… I’m open for suggestions!]

“I’ll think about it. So what kind of barrier is this supposed to be?”

Hearing Leona’s question, Euma gave a short nod.

[Hmm. As you can see, this slope is incredibly slippery. I’m sorry for test-takers, but it is an AMAZINGLY! SLIPPERY! SLOPE!] [2]

“I see, so it’s a very severe barrier to test-takers…”

“Umm, Leona-sama, Golem-san. What does that ‘test-takers’ thing have to do with the slope?”

[The bottom of this slope has a pitfall! It’s game over if you slip, followed by a punishment game!]

“Kuuu! It’s so slippery you’d definitely slide down it! It really is severe! Sorry, test-takers!”

“Excuse me!? Just what do those ‘test-takers’ have to do with this trap!?”

Leona and Euma ignored Suira as they grew ever more excited. Also unable to understand the reason, Michiru tilted her head to the side.

[Well, you just have to not slip. Got it? Alright then, oh challengers, make sure you don’t fail this barrier, for the sake of all the test-takers the world over—those of other worlds included—and break through it!]

Saying that, Euma disappeared beyond the door.

“… Umm, Leona-sama? Just what’s going on?”

“Fufufu, this is the first time I’ve been excited in a long time! Oh hoh hoh, this water has some viscosity to it! Both of you, calm down and be careful as you go up the slope! Hey, Michiru. You’re the lightest, so how about you go first?”

“Alright, Leona-sama! Onee-sama, you come on too.”

“Y-yeah…”

Careful so that they wouldn’t slip, the three began to make their way up the slope.

*

“So, Kehma, what’s going on?”

Once the three started going up the slope, Rokuko asked me a question.

“What do you mean ‘what’? It’s what it looks like, a slope. Ah, I didn’t use the Tentacle Slime’s mucus this time though.”

“Un, I get that part. I’m more wondering why you’d set up such a nonsensical trap in such a nonsensical place.”

Right, I was going with testing out a new floor as the pretext, but far from the current pitfall traps, it was questionable if it was even fatal, given the mats laid out.

Moreover, after this, the traps… traps? I mean, the people they’re meant for aren’t supposed to be adventurers in the first place. There’s even barriers like [Can you guess what’s inside just by feeling it?], for example. Adventurers are people that would ignore instructions and look right on inside the hole. Rather, they would even go so far as to try heading straight through the door and ignore the box entirely.

“Well, yeah, to put it simply… including the mic performance, I was setting up the mood.”

“The mood?”

“The barrier I made will probably keep Leona enjoying herself with the rules I set up. However, that will only stay true so long as she’s having fun. In other words, these are simply my opening moves for setting up the final trap… Ah, and Setsuna will be prepared along the way.”

“Umm, so you’re entertaining her so that she’ll walk into the trap willingly?”

“Yeah, exactly. You hit the nail on the head.”

With all that, this is another one of Leona’s treasure trove of [Clichés]… the reproduction of a variety game show.

Suira and Michiru are with her as well, but her bringing Succubi with her was well within my expectations. Let’s switch their route to one that has multi-people attractions, sit back, and watch.

“Well now, why don’t we just enjoy the show as Leona and the others play themselves right into our hand?”

“Play themselves into it, hmm?”

When Rokuko looked at the monitor, Leona was smiling as she caught a hold onto Suira, who was about to slip.

Footnotes:

First sentence was said in English. Return

‘Test-takers’ is referring to those students cramming and preparing for entrance examinations.