How To Raise Your Regressor

"After all, unlike you, we all need to put in our hours if we don't want to sleep on an empty stomach."

Lecia has been leeching off our generosity so she probably wouldn't understand, but here in the real world, one has to work hard if they want to put food in their stomach.

Of course, that's assuming that back at the organisation, Lecia wasn't starved for offences like refusing to heal a customer.

I'm... pretty sure she wasn't.

"Yet here you are, enjoying cranberry juice baths instead of... putting in your hours? I don't even know what that's supposed to mean," Lecia rolled her eyes.

Alright, that was a low blow.

I wonder how she'll react if she learns that it wasn't Cranberry juice that I bathed in, but the blood of my enemies.

That sounded way too edgier than I wanted it to.

"Hmm, I wonder," I stroke my chin that was still caked with dried blood- I really should have taken Azell's offer to wash myself before beginning this discussion. "I was planning to leave for the Old Blood Guild this evening, but I couldn't. Why though? Surely not because one of our Guild members got herself kidnapped."

"Even that is my fault?!" She exclaimed.

"Yes."

I thought that was self-explanatory. Oh well, I guess it's just Lecia being Lecia.

"And what does that have to do with taking Cranberry Juice baths, anyway?"

"Everyone likes to relax after a long day at work, Lecia. Though I suppose you wouldn't know."

"And you relax by soaking in Cranberry Juice?" She furrowed her brows.

So now I'm being kink-shamed in my own room?

"Let's see if you have the same attitude when my skin gets softer than yours and glows more."

"You're a man! Your skin should not be softer than mine!"

"Sexist."

"What?"

"I refuse to conform myself to society's standards. I like having a soft, beautiful skin, and by God I will have it. Even if it requires me to sacrifice the lives of 1965 men."

Neia averted her gaze.

"Argh, arguing with you just makes my head hurt," Lecia massaged her temple.

That was an ez win.

"Then consider keeping your mouth shut around me," I advised.

"Might as well stay away from you," she sighed.

Huh, that wouldn't be a bad idea.

"That's... a very tempting proposition."

In fact, that would be a really good idea.

Huh, maybe instead of going to such lengths to pull off this epic prank (that has already deviated from its original 'punch line', thanks to our fucking idiots, Lecia and Tristan), I should have gotten a restraining order against Lecia.

Oh well, next time, I'll prank her by getting her into the Sex Offender list so that she'll be legally required to stay 500 metres away from me.

"..."

"Anyway, who's the guy that came from the Old Blood Guild?" I asked Azell.

Now that I think about it, I was planning to quickly wrap my little story telling time with Tristan, own Lecia in an argument in 3 seconds, then leave for the Old Blood Guild.

The name's too long and boring so I'll just call them bloody bois from now on.

Anyway, here I am, drenched in blood (that has already dried off) at 2 in the morning.

"It's the Vice Leader of their Guild."

"Damn, they sent a bigshot."

Why though? It makes no sense to send the fucking Vice Leader, who I assume is crucial for the smooth operation of the Guild itself, in an exchange program.

It's like sending the school principal in a student exchange program.

Yikes.

"Well, we are also sending the head of our R&D department."

Oh, right, I'm also an executive of the New Dawn Guild.

Fuck.

"A department that doesn't even exist."

"Yet which has already produced phenomenal results," Azell smiled. "Without the ring that you created, saving Lecia would have been much harder."

Is this guy trying to butter me up?

"Though that was not enough, apparently. Looks like I'll have to develop some system which will detect you are in a danger and automatically get you out of that situation, because I clearly cannot trust you to do it yourself."

Lecia averted her gaze.

"I'm... sure you'll do fine," Azell smiled.

"Right."

Why the hell is he so confident that I'll do 'fine'?

It's not like he actually helped me in saving Lecia (I did not really tell him that his precious Guild member had been kidnapped, but still). I did everything alone.

I got a little help from Neia, of course, but almost everything was handled by me.

I am single-handedly carrying this Guild. Wow.

This is pretty depressing, now that I think about it.

I have to create things that will allow my colleagues to alert us when they are in danger, and then I am the one who has to go out and save them.

And as if that's not enough, my boss (Azell) gets the credit for it.

To think I would get the authentic corporate slave experience in a fantasy world.

Yikes.

Time to do a tide pod challenge.

And for that, I'll need these fuckers to get the fuck out of this room.

"Anyway, it's pretty late, so if you'll excuse me, I need my recommended 8 hour nap."

"What about the Old Blood Guild?" Azell asked.

"Like I said, it's pretty late, so I'll go tomorrow."

And by tomorrow, I mean I'll go in the evening because ya boi is not a morning person.

"Jennifer asked you to go to her Guild as soon as you possibly can."

"Even if it's past midnight?"

"Yes."

Wut? Jennifer is asking me to come to her place in the dead of the night?

Hot damn, looks like my days of popularity have arrived sooner than I expected.

It's time for some sinful pre-marital gaming session with the bois, because that's what nights are all about.

"Hmmm."

I wonder what gaming system Jennifer has. I would prefer it if it's a 5000$ gaming PC, but a console would also do fine, I suppose.

As long as I get to own some noobs and tell them I fucked their mum, it's all kosher.

"I suppose I'll go after taking a bath," I said.

The pretty enticing gaming session aside, staying here any longer might be detrimental for my mental health because I'm sure these fuckers would, I dunno, find some new, exotic ways to annoy me to death.

Also, the more I stay away from Lecia, the better. It would be better for her to focus on developing her relationship with Azell, even if it's based on nothing but lies and they might be potential siblings.

"It's up to you," Azell replied. "You can go tomorrow if that's what you want."

"But then I'll have to wake up early to leave for her Guild. I'd rather go now and skim through all the meaningless formalities while they are all drowsy, then sleep my way into a better future."

"Well," Azell smiled. "You do you."

"Yup."

"Anyway, see you tomorrow," Azell said. "Let's go, Lecia, Neia."

"Why would he be tired..."

I dunno Lecia, probably because I fapped 7 times in a row?

The nerve of this gurl.

"You two can go ahead first," Neia said. "I want to talk with him for a bit."

And of course, this little Dragon is up to no good. I was wondering when she'd start her Q&A session.

"Your health comes before any useless questions you might have, Neia," I said. "You should go and rest. I'm sure you NEED it, much more than I do."

"...Why can't you be just a normal child..." Neia sighed with widened eyes.

Heh.

"I already am, am I not?" I winked.

"Whatever. Good night."

"Sleep tight."

With that, the trio finally left my room.