FFF-Class Trashero

Chapter 355 - [23rd Round] Kiss~ Juju!

“Senior, come quickly. Oh! This is truly heaven on Fantasy… Hmm?”

“Sieg, I want you to meet my pet, Sleloli. She can even speak.”

“… Greetings, Hero.”

“Huh?”

Sieg, enveloped in hot white steam, couldn’t even answer properly.

The rainbow fox sitting on Sieg’s head shrank too.

That was as expected.

Their power was nothing compared to hers.

Of course, once the rainbow fox had grown all of its seven tails, it would be able to compete against dragons, but my pet Sleloli was the leader of the “white dragons.”

A one-tailed fox was like dust in the background compared to it.

“Senior…”

“Yes?”

“This is a joke, right? Did you really ask Sleas, the Ice Dragon King, to pretend to be your pet?”

“You won’t believe me even if I deny it, so what if I just give Sleloli some absurd order?”

“Then… let her kiss me… on the cheek… ahem!” said Sieg, turning his cheek in her direction.

I looked behind me, finding Sleloli’s distorted expression, and said, “Didn’t you hear? The Acting Hero is asking for a kiss. For the cause.”

“… If that is what you desire.”

She took off her clothes that covered a figure that couldn’t be called a little girl’s and went into the water.

Due to the steam, it became impossible to properly see her naked body, but her silhouette alone delighted Sieg.

“Ah…

Drooling as Sleloli approached him, he couldn’t utter even a single word.

“Kyu-kyu!”

Sieg’s pet squeaked pitifully, seemingly expressing its jealousy.

However, its owner had already entered a trance.

Sleloli put both hands on his shoulders as soon as she reached him.

“… It will be a kiss you’ll never be able to forget until the end of your days, Hero.”

“Oh, well… Um!”

“Smack!”

Their lips met.

At that moment, the illusion, caused by the Ice Dragon King Sleas’s main skill, disappeared.

The beautiful girl who stole the lips of F-rank Hero Sieg with relish quickly turned into a two-legged pig.

Or, more simply, an orc.

Naturally, it was a male.

His eyes widened, sensing that the kiss was strange.

“Mmm?!”

His face, which had recently turned red from the heat, was immediately dyed blue.

He began flailing his arms, trying to escape the monster. However, having foreseen this, the orc tightly squeezing Sieg’s shoulders to prevent him from escaping.

“Kuku!”

As promised, he would never forget this kiss.

He struggled to get out of its tight grip, unable to pull himself together properly due to his panic.

“Oooh?!”

“Juju!”

It was a pity that I saw the scene only from the back of my pet.

***

Hero Sieg squatted in the corner of the men’s locker room, crying.

It seemed that even his lacrimal glands were shocked by this experience.

“Get dressed already, Sieg.”

“I don’t want to live anymore… Whimper!”

“Come on! Don’t kill yourself over some orc. I even had to kiss stupid fish and chickens before. You don’t even want to know how that felt.”

Vile mermaids and harpies.

It was a feeling so terrible I thought I contracted stupidity from them.

“Ah! Really?”

“You just had to believe me. Do you see what this led to? To a passionate kiss with an orc~”

“Bue!”

Remembering this moment, Sieg cringed.

Sleloli, reassuming her beautiful girl form, frowned.

“I was forced to kiss you, so I should be the one feeling unpleasant here! Why’s the Hero the one acting so upset?!”

“That’s just how Sieg is.”

He liked kissing a dragon that could freely change sex but kissing an orc disgusted him.

How despicable.

“Kyu-kyu.”

“Yes, yes. I can handle this. Whimper! Thank you so much for your concern, Kyurie. Whimper!”

Thanks to the rainbow fox’s comforting actions, he managed to pull himself together.

… Sociology Teacher did his job.

We soon gathered in a shared sauna.

Although his face was swollen from tears, we didn’t encounter any additional problems.

“You don’t look well, Hero Sieg.”

“… It’s better not to challenge your… big brother.”

“These hot springs are delightful. I don’t know if I’ll be forgiven for resting here while His Majesty is struggling with an illness…”

This little rest seemed to have pleased the females of our party.

Us males didn’t feel the same excitement, though. Sieg couldn’t forget his kiss with an orc, and the hot springs were just hot water for Hero V’s body.

“This lizard is my pet, Sleloli.”

“Greetings. I am Sleloli, previously known as Sleas the King of the Ice Dragons, a few hours ago…”

… She lacked training.

“Can’t you say hello more cheerfully?”

“I’m Sleloli! Nice to meet you!”

“That’s a little better.”

At that point, our senseless competition ended, and the time had come for us to discuss the next steps while enjoying the sauna.

“Ugh…”

“How nice…”

“Ah…”

No one took the initiative, expecting Hero V to make the schedule as before.

So I did.

“Your incompetence pissed me off, Hero Sieg, so I concluded you should get the Holy Sword as soon as possible. From here on out, our goal is the Mollancoin. We’ll pray from the sidelines that you make it safely through Giant King Phoenix’s trials. Any objections?”

“Yes”

“… What is it this time, junior?”

“I have not yet learned how to tame a dragon as a pet! I am not giving up on the Holy Sword, but isn’t it too early for me to chase after it?”

“Hmm…”

Looked like he had grown jealous of my pet Sleloli.

He had just recently bragged about his pet, but as soon as he saw that mine was better, he immediately desired the same.

“Kyu-kyu…”

The rainbow fox looked sad.

Did he not feel sorry for his pet at all?

“Hero Sieg, I don’t mean to interfere, but let me give you a piece of advice,” Disco said. “Please cherish your pet. Pets suffer when their owners do not love and care for them.”

During our first meeting, she proudly introduced herself as the pet of Mollansoft’s CEO.

How great was he to be able to turn a deity into a pet?

I wanted to meet him one day.

“I apologize, Miss Distoria. Forgive me as well, my friend.”

“Kyu-kyu.”

After Sieg’s worthless apology, I disclosed our next course of action.

“We’ll rest today. Tomorrow, you’ll all have to move on without me. Don’t worry. I’ll tell you where the dungeon you need to go is.”

“You’re not coming?” Disco asked, clearly surprised.

“Is there a problem with that?”

“No. I thought you were programmed to help heroes. I didn’t expect you to be so independent.

“I’m not just some pathetic code.”

“Oh! Sorry.”

“As I was saying, you can rest today, and tomorrow you’ll have to go to the Medusa den. And you, my impatient junior, can take your time with your pet. A beautiful lady will abandon you after a year of missing you, but dragons will wait for you even after a hundred years.”

I wasn’t kidding.

Lonely reptiles were scattered throughout Fantasy.

Their ability to transform into humans and communicate verbally definitely served as their advantage, but they didn’t change the fact that they were still reptiles.

“Really?” Sieg asked.

“Listen carefully, incredulous junior. Any dragon can be tamed as a pet, but I’ll give you a list of some of the more useful ones.”

“Wow!”

“Lolicoste, the Fire Dragon King from the Northern Continent, turns into a boy to seduce women who have reached marriageable age. Amsteloli, the Black Dragon King from the Western Continent, has a hobby of seducing nice guys in the form of a beautiful young girl. Sleloli, the Ice Dragon King from the Southern Continent, my current pet, uses the image of a beautiful girl to lure heroes into her lair and turn them into her slaves. Lolimania, the Divine Dragon King from the Western Continent, takes on a youthful appearance and uses her believers for her own purposes. Lolitron, the King of the Wyverns from the Sea of Death, has the noble hobby of keeping and raising heroes on his island. Crownloli, the Sea Dragon King living in endless waters, knows no match when it comes to its expertise with tentacles. These are all second-class pets. The first-class ones are too tough for you, and I don’t recommend the third-class ones because of their poor quality.”

“…”

“It seems you have no questions.”

The next day, I sent Hero Sieg and his dummies to the Medusa den.

It would be a good workout for the beauty lover.

As for me…

“Sleloli, I have a task for you.”

“Are you going to let me go— Kh?!”

“Shut up and listen carefully. Invite the Saintess from the Temple of the Great Child here. Tell her she’ll learn of her missing mother’s whereabouts if she comes to ensure her cooperation.

“Alright.”

Just as I had planned, Thief E, who became the Saintess of the Southern Continent, visited the hot springs out of her concern about Shadow A’s fate, who now spent every day in her pathetic husband’s arms.

With a serious expression on her face, she asked me, “Do you really know where my mother is, Ancient Hero?”

Thief E was considered the most beautiful among purebred elves.

Should I call her Saintess E from now on?

Anyway, she boasted the same attractive body as the most prominent beauties of the human race.

I replied politely, “Relax for today. We’ll discuss everything tomorrow morning.”

“Alright, but the very idea of using hot springs…”

“Is there a problem?”

“Oh, uh, n-no.”

“Then have a good rest. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“…Okay. Thank you.”

I went to the room reserved for Saintess E and left my pet with instructions.

“When the Saint changes into pajamas and falls asleep, bring me her pads. She treats them dearer than her own life, so she’ll most likely hide them under her pillow.”

“Pads…?”

Sleloli looked confused, her voice telling me she didn’t understand what my motives were.

She didn’t need to know such details.

“You will never understand the sadness of those who do not have them. Just do as you’re told.”

“Okay.”

All rules could be circumvented.

Even if I didn’t have a Holy Sword, there were many ways to recruit a Saintess.

One of those methods was what I executed now.

The morning that followed was pleasant.

However, Saintess E, who wanted to inquire about her mother’s whereabouts, didn’t come to meet me and instead remained in her bedroom.

Naturally, the reason was…

Knocking on her bedroom door, I politely said, “I’m coming in.”

“Ah! Wait a minute!”

I saw her wrapped in a blanket as soon as I entered, treating it like a cocoon.

Sitting on the sofa, I took out her pads.

“I want to sell you these.”

“Those are…”

“Do you recognize them? You don’t want the awful truth about the beautiful Saintess deceiving everyone to be revealed, do you?”

“… No.”

“Haha! I thought so. In that case, I’ll sell them to you for only 50 billion gold coins.”

“50 billion?!”

“Don’t worry. You can pay with your life for it. I won’t even charge interest.”

“You are a real demon…”

“No, I’m a human.”

Hero V’s race indicated that.

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