Ze Tian Ji (Way of Choices)

Chapter 1117 – Everything Regarding Chen Shengsheng¹

Shang Xingzhou knew that he was looking at his own face.

But he still felt it very unfamiliar.

Because it was very different from the face he normally saw in the mirror.

No one knew what sort of person Shang Xingzhou was. Probably only Yuren had a clearer picture.

Neither the Tang Old Master, Yin, nor Chen Changsheng had a very clear understanding.

To describe it in two words, they would be ‘not close’.

Shang Xingzhou was not close to his own junior brother, not close to his old friends, and was not even close to his own disciples.

He was not close to the entire world, even though whether actively or passively, he wanted to bring this entire world forward.

Everyone said that Black Robe was the world’s most mysterious individual, but in the last few centuries, Shang Xingzhou had been even more mysterious.

He had been even more patient than Black Robe, even more inconspicuous, or perhaps even more undemanding.

If he had wanted, he had every right to have his portrait hung up in the Lingyan Pavilion, and it would probably have been ranked very highly.

But he had chosen to remain in the darkness, glimpsing not the sun and speaking not with others.

In those centuries, he had played every sort of role, worn innumerable faces.

Perhaps it was for this reason that he would often look at a mirror, as only this way could he confirm who he was on any given day.

Gradually, he had gotten used to speaking with the man in the mirror. Even when he no longer needed to play any other roles, he had kept this habit.

He had always kept the Clear Sky Mirror at his side until this year, when he had Xu Yourong bring it to White Emperor City, where it shattered in that battle.

No one else was more familiar with their own face than him, which is why he found it very unfamiliar now.

It was a rather haggard face, devoid of its usual handsomeness, making it seem rather old.

Most importantly, his eyes were not as calm as they used to be.

The air of a tyrant could be clearly seen between those raised brows and eyes of feigned indifference. It looked quite silly.

It was just like that youngest prince, shouting with a twisted expression in the Hundred Herb Garden.

In the end, he had still been shot to death by arrows.

Yes, when the Prince of Chu died, he had also had an ugly face, covered with blood.

Where did I go after that?

That’s right, I went to the Imperial Palace, and passed on His Majesty’s will to Emperor Taizu.

Taizu looked fat and stupid, but he was actually extremely bright, or else how did he see my killing intent?

His Majesty was truly too merciful. He should have killed Wang Zhice that night. Why leave him his life?

Without him, would it have been impossible to defeat the demons? I really can’t make sense of it.

Chen Xuanba was such a great talent and the Prince of Chu was such a skilled strategist, and didn’t His Majesty choose to reluctantly wipe them out in the end? Why spare a single scholar?

Shang Xingzhou’s thoughts flitted back from the past, his gaze drawing back from the distance and falling back on Chen Changsheng’s face.

Chen Changsheng’s face was also stained with blood, but for some reason, it still seemed very clean.

And it was also very calm, with no traces of fear to be seen.

Shang Xingzhou was a little angry.

Chen Changsheng’s words had made him feel very uncomfortable.

And he found Chen Changsheng’s serenity impossible to accept.

He asked, “Are you really not afraid of death?”

Chen Changsheng said, “Master, you should know more than anyone else how afraid I am of death.”

When he was ten, Shang Xingzhou had said those words to him, leaving him grief-stricken for a very long time.

He spent many nights hiding under his sheets and crying.

The one patting him on the back through the blanket while soothing him was Yuren.

But Shang Xingzhou was in the room a wall away, so how could he not know?

“But when you think about it for too long, are afraid of it for too long, you naturally grow numb.”

Chen Changsheng added, “Now that I think about it, I truly do have to thank Master for the life you arranged for me.”

Shang Xingzhou said, “At the time, you were sure that you would not live past the age of twenty, so you spent each day walking toward death in order to live, naturally making it easy for you to overcome death. Now, however, you have defied the heavens and changed fate, and can roam freely across the world for a thousand years. You even have a high chance of seeing Grand Liberation. So why are you still not afraid?”

“I also don’t know if I’m actually unafraid or if it’s something else. It’s probably only when one is truly facing death that one can truly understand what one feels.”

Chen Changsheng said, “I will help Master clearly see yourself, and Master can help me clearly see myself.”

‘Hell is other people.’

Death was a bright mirror.

One could use it to tidy their clothes.

And one could use it to clearly see one’s heart.

……

……

Time slowly passed.

The maple trees were still.

Shang Xingzhou had still not done the deed.

“Let go.”

Wang Zhice spoke.

Since he was not willing to do the deed, he might as well let go.

‘Let go’ had two meanings here.

‘Let go of the hand around Chen Changsheng’s neck.’

‘Let go of this world.’

Shang Xingzhou said nothing, did nothing.

“Does Sir think that letting go this way is not giving you enough face?”

Tang Thirty-Six suddenly smiled and then gave himself a hefty slap on his right cheek.

There was an extremely clear and resounding clap.

Tang Thirty-Six’s right cheek began to swell.

He looked at Shang Xingzhou and very sincerely said, “Look sir, what does face matter?”

Shang Xingzhou still said nothing.

Some people believed that Tang Thirty-Six’s actions were solely meant to disturb Shang Xingzhou’s mind, essentially just mindless drivel.

Chen Changsheng did not think so, because he knew that this was the true problem.

As he had just said, a person like Shang Xingzhou who was always correct could never admit that he had lost.

This fact made him rather exhausted, perhaps even bored.

He said to Shang Xingzhou, “Why can’t Master learn how to admit a loss?”

“I did not lose, so why must I admit that I have lost? Do not forget, for the last one thousand years, I have always been the winner.”

Shang Xingzhou proudly said, “Even though I once underestimated Tianhai and committed an error, I still won in the end.”

Chen Changsheng was quiet for a while, then he asked, “If you’re not willing to admit to your loss, can you admit that you were wrong?”

All was quiet.

Everyone looked toward him.

“If Master insists on not admitting your loss, can you admit that you were wrong?”

Chen Changsheng earnestly asked Shang Xingzhou.

Shang Xingzhou’s expression seemed to freeze.

“Three years ago in the Orthodox Academy, it was snowing that night. At the time, I said to Master that between the two of us, you were the one that was wrong.”

Chen Changsheng said, “Since you were wrong, why can’t you admit that you were wrong?”

If they weren’t speaking about victory and defeat, they could talk about right and wrong.

Just who was right and who was wrong.

Since he couldn’t admit defeat, could he admit that he was wrong?

Shang Xingzhou said nothing.

Chen Changsheng asked him, “Master, is it so difficult for you to even admit that you were wrong?”

Shang Xingzhou quietly stared at him and slowly loosened his grip.

No one stepped forward, because the pair were still very close. They could touch each other just by stretching out a hand.

Chen Changsheng followed with a few more words.

“In the Mausoleum of Books, I said to Master that perhaps in the final moment, you would realize what you truly wanted. Just now was the final moment.

“Master asked why I wanted to arrange this fight. This is the answer. I wanted to invite Master to take a clear look at yourself. Perhaps it would be rather ugly, but it would be the truth.

“You don’t want to kill me. You’ve never wanted to kill me, because you knew that you were wrong.

“Starting from twenty years ago, everything Master did regarding me was wrong.”