Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Gumihou: I think Eguchi-san wrote this in a rush, it’s a bit repetitive and incoherent. That’s fine, Gumi will help you~ Lot’s of editing after the second ‘sorry’.

“Do you know… just how much damage control I had to do after you and your party left?!”

“S-sorry…”

Apparently, Willem-san had been intensively grilled by the King and Queen after my party left, which he was now letting me know it.

“Sorry,” was all I could say as Willem-san sighed.

“Well, I guess it’s not entirely your fault, and…” he coughed behind his fist. “It was great to see some of those noblemen piss themselves.”

“Eh? What?” did Willem-san just say-

“But you didn’t hear it from me.”

“Oh, um, alright,”

“Tch, do you know how many times I thought of letting go and going on a rampage when those snobby, snooty bunch who thought nothing about speaking sarcastically to me? Tch, the nerve of the lot! I’m strong enough to gut them and yet they still have the cheek to poke the bear! I-”

For some reason, I ended up listening as Willem-san start a second rant about sarcastic and snobby nobles. To be honest, I could sympathize with him a little bit.

“…speaking of which, didn’t you say you’ll head straight for the Adventurer’s Guild after visiting the palace? Do you know how long I have been waiting for you?”

“Eh, ah,” I forgot.

I had completely forgotten.

I can’t say that, right?

“Surely you should know that Adventurers ought to report to the Adventurer’s Guild when they first set foot in a city? I know we headed straight for the palace this time, but surely you should know to go to the Adventurer’s Guild?”

The Guild Master’s piercing glare was a little… too piercing.

“S-sorry…”

I can’t say that our party has gone stall hunting after the palace visit!!

“You guys went to the food stalls didn’t you?”

“Hiiii!!!”

“Haaahhh… I knew it. I even thought of sending some Adventurers after you, but all of them refuse to go near your party thanks to, you know.”

“I know,” I totally know, sir.

“Carelina is one thing, you’re basically the local hero there, so no one would probably blink an eye anymore, but you should be mindful of… the impact that some of your party members have on the none initiated.”

“Ahahaha…”

“Speaking of impact, what’s with that royal tribute, huh??”

“Ah…”

“Augggh, forget it. It was my fault for trusting you to do the sensible thing. It was totally my fault!!”

“Hey, that’s not a nice thing to say…” I said a little defensively, the Queen seems to like the tribute, so that’s fine, right?

“It’s too much! You went overboard by a lot, a looooot!!”

Well, it’s not like I can do anything about it now…

“What’s more, it’s not just a quantity thing. You… aren’t those things too outrageous?! A pearl tiara? A Mithril dagger with a large sapphire? If you search the royal treasury, it probably couldn’t yield half of what you have given in value alone!!!”

Ah, I really… did not know that…

“Not to mention, you… where is your common sense?!”

On and on he went. Scolding me over and over again on the same things. If I tried to explain myself, he would just start over again, so I just stood there and… took it. As for my familiars…

Fer was yawning.

After Fer yawned, the rest followed too, as though infected by his yawn. I could feel the corners of my eye misting from my need to yawn too. It’s not that I don’t reflect on my actions, but Willem-san was getting a little repetitive.

““Hey, don’t tell me that you guys are falling asleep, huhh??”” I shot at them through telepathy.

“”Phun, I don’t care.””

“”Umu, I believe the Guild Master is not speaking to us.””

This Grandpa Gon… I totally saw through your ‘innocent’ tone!

“”Rather than that, we should get our Leviathan dismantled.””

“”That’s right, the Leviathan, Master!””

“”Ou! Did someone say Leviathan? Are we eating that now?!””

“”Yay~! Water dragon~! Water dragon~!!””

“Oi! Are you even paying attention?!”

Gununu, why do I have to be the one scolded… “Apologies, my familiars were speaking to me just now,” I said.

“Eh, what about?”

Tch, look at how polite he is when addressing the legendary beasts, humph.

“We want to eat the Leviathan,”

“That’s right, take us to a place where we can have it dismantled.”

“Wait, what, now? But we’re supposed to visit Count Langridge first-”

“What was that, human?”

“You want us to meet with some human noble, over getting our Leviathan dismantled?”

“Uh, well, that is…”

It would be a lie to say that I did not enjoy seeing Willem-san bullied by my familiars. Kind of like seeing an obnoxious manager being scolded by some equally obnoxious young master boss who entered the company through nepotism.

Ha ha ha.

“H-hey, why are you staring at me with those eyes?!”

Fer and Grandpa Gon were not quite glaring at Willem-san, but their gaze was far from kind. In fact, I would describe the look in their eyes as ‘sword-swallowing eyes’…

Still, there’s a limit to how much I should allow my familiars to rampage. I still need Willem-san’s help and we do need to meet with Count Langridge. With this in mind, I stepped forward and said, “Right, enough of that. Count Langridge is the Lord of Carelina, so we owe him a lot, not the least a visit.”

“Muu…”

“Must we?”

“He strived to keep the other nobles from annoying us and took care of various other issues so that we could live in peace. No matter what, we must visit him.” I said firmly. “It will take too long to look for someone to dismantle the Leviathan. Even if we could find someone, they wouldn’t be able to complete the job immediately. So, we might as well visit the Count first.”

“That’s right, we must visit the Count,” Willem-san began.

“That said,” I begin, a sudden surge of petty satisfaction filled me as I said, “I did promise everyone a meal of dragon meat…”

“”Yay!!!””

“…if you behave at the palace,” I smirked, “Did you behave?”

“Nuu…”

“Kuuuhh—”

“Aahhh, unfortunately, I vaguely remember someone threatening the nobles at the audience hall and leaving without the King and Queen’s expressed permission.”

“Guh, we left with permission…”

“Yes, yes, also, we did not threaten the King or the Queen, just some rude little insects…”

“U-umu, they were rude to our Master, so how could we tolerate them!”

“Oh? I vaguely recall someone interrupting the reading of the list of tribute…”

“Th-they were being too long-winded and noisy! Master was getting bored too, I was doing Master a favour!”

I looked at Grandpa Gon with some astonishment. Well, well, looks like the legend that dragons are wiser than most creatures must be true. This kind of manipulative talk was certainly not something that Fer would have used.

“”Hey, how about having dragon meat after meeting the Count?”” suggested Dora-chan

“Th-that’s right, we don’t have to eat it right away. Let’s have dragon meat after meeting the Count. Meeting the count is important after all!”

Woah, that’s a big compromise on Fer’s part. Good job on helping that guy negotiate, Dora-chan. This way, I can keep my promise but not lose face to either my familiars or Willem-san.

““Dragon Steak~! Dragon Steak~!””

Well, it looks like tonight’s dinner had been decided. For now, let’s go and meet with the Count. Though I cannot say it out loud, I must admit that to my familiars, Dragon Steak definitely trumps a meeting with the Count.

[Gumihou: Redid the scene to reflect more realism]