Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Gumihou: Made the comedic bits more comedic

“Hey, I think… it’s impossible, you know…”

“Mu, you don’t know that.”

“You think so? You forgot the trouble we went through with the Earth Dragon?”

“M-mu…” Fer’s face scrunched up.

“The only person who could dismantle it is… I’m sorry to say… Elland…”

There was a collective shudder from everyone. Including myself, because I don’t want to meet him either…

““Hey, why did you bring up that crazy elf creep?”” Dora-chan shouted. “”No way~! No way~!””

Grandpa Gon did not say anything, but the frown on his face was very obvious.

“Well, if that’s the case, we have no choice but to leave it in the [Item Box] for the time being.”

“Gununu…”

““Hey, we’re about to leave the house, so let’s all switch to telepathy, okay?””

Thanks to GG Airways, we managed to arrive before the gates closed for the night.

I was exhausted from the trip (I was the only one it seems…). After completing all the chores of feeding the familiars and greeting my servants, I fell asleep the moment I collapsed into my heavenly bed.

Ah, a bed~

A real bed~

Zzz~~

The next morning, after going through the usual routine of feeding and watering my familiars, we set out for the Adventurer’s Guild.

That was when my familiars started pestering me about ‘Leviathan! Leviathan! Let’s eat the Leviathan!’

Which brought us to this moment.

“”Master, you are saying… that if we do not dismantle this Leviathan, we cannot eat it?””

“”Ehhh~~ Sui wants to eat it~~! Eat it~~!””

The argument kept going round and round, as we made our way to the Adventurer’s Guild. I was so distracted that I did not notice the Guild Master standing in front of the Guild office with his arms crossed until he spoke up.

“So, you guys are finally here, eh?”

“Eh?” I scratched the back of my head. “Um, is there anything wrong…?”

“Anything wrong?! Anything- you! Come with me! All of you!”

Eh? J-just what happened? What did I do? What did-

We follow the fuming Guild Master to the warehouse. I can see the veins popping out of his forehead and fists… That’s right, the Guild Master was originally a great swordsman, wasn’t he? I think I heard about this from somewhere before…

At the warehouse, there was only Johan-san the dismantler. Once the door closed behind us, the Guild Master turned around and yelled, “You! What did you do!?”

“Eh? Um…”

“You said you’re going to Ronkainen!!”

Oh, that.

Ha.

“Um, we did…”

“I see, then why were there so many reports of a black dragon rampaging around the Holy Kingdom of Rubanov? Aahhh?”

“No, well, I did say Ronkainen and others…”

“Oho, a cunning fellow, eh? Do you know the commotion you caused? Do you know how many inquiries we received?!”

“S-sorry…”

“Not only that, there were reports that the main church of the Holy Kingdom of Rubanov had been destroyed… By a Fenrir and an Ancient Dragon!”

“I-i-is that so? Haha…”

“It just so happens, you are the only person with access to both a Fenrir and an Ancient Dragon!”

“”Sui too~! Sui too~!””

“”Hey, no mention of me?!””

I’m sort of glad he can’t hear my smaller familiars… although… could you guys stop bouncing and zipping around in the room?

Also, why are my two strongest familiars not doing anything to protect me from this scary person?! I quickly glanced over and found Fer scratching his chin with a foot, while Grandpa Gon was yawning…

Gunununu… these two bastards…

While I was still racking my brains, trying to think up a plausible excuse, Willem-san sighed and said, “Whatever, it’s not like I have any good feelings towards the Church of Rubanov anyway. If their church was destroyed, well, it was destroyed.”

Phew… maybe I could still get out of this-

“However, what’s this report from Ronkainen’s guild about your party clearing a dungeon at the Republic of Quinn?”

“Hm? Eh? What?”

D-didn’t Gaudino’s team already explained it? So, why-

“Haahhh… anyway, talk to me about that. And don’t leave out anything!”

“Y-yes!”

………….

…….

…

Partway through my explanation, Willem-san and Johan-san had turned as white as ashes.

“You guys are too much…”

“Don’t blame me, I tried to stop them, but they were too excited about challenging a new dungeon…”

“What are you talking about? Aren’t they your familiars? Can’t you just… order them?”

“I’m flattered that you think they would listen to me just like that…”

“Wait, are you saying you c-can’t control th-them!!!”

Ooops, I said the wrong thing and cause the good people from the Guild to panic. Uh, what should I say…

“Ah, well, only when it comes to dungeon challenges. They like it too much, hahaha.”

“Umu, dungeons are fun,”

“With us around, Master’s safety is assured,”

“Master did not lose out either. Didn’t you collect a lot of Drop items?” said Fer smugly.

Ugh…

“Oh? Drop items?” Johan-san perked up. “What sort of Drop items did you find there?”

“Um, well…” I haven’t sorted the things out yet, but… ah, what the heck, I’m sure I can trust Willem-san and Johan-san. Let’s see…

In the first place, I should leave all the dangerous stuff like Charybdis’ treasure chest with all those super expensive and rare pearls in here along with the (cough) Philosopher’s Stone and Bident Spear.

Umu, let’s take out all the Red Tail Caiman fangs and skin. Woah, there’s a lot…

Next, the Emperor Dorado magic stone, scales and the treasure chest (containing small emeralds and rubies). The Hunter Green Anaconda’s skin, some Killer Termite jaws as well as the white opals from the creepy anthill. Turtle shells from various turtles. Assassin Jaguar fur and more magic stones…

“Well, these are Drops from the first floor…”

“F-first floor!?”

“Y-you got all these from one floor alone?!”

“Well, the other half of the stuff is meat, but I’m keeping those, you see…”

“… …”

“Is it alright if I continue?”

“Sure, why not? Go ahead!”

“Okay…” I looked at them a little uncertainly. I think they’re a bit overly excited for some reason…

Anyway, I took out the following things:

– Charybdis Fang

– Magic stone (XL)

– Super Giant Shark Tooth

– Magic stone (L)

– Jewels from the undead cave

– 10 Mithril daggers

– Shark Skin (lots)

– Sea Serpent fangs & skins (lots)

“Stop it.”

“Eh?”

“I’m saying stop it! Are you planning to fill this entire warehouse with your Drop items? Huh?!”

“No, but, didn’t you ask me to take the Drops out…”

“There should be a limit! A limit, I say!!”

“Well, I still have a bit more…”

By a bit, I meant magic stones from the Kraken and Aspidochelone, Murder Sea Turtle shells and other common little things.

“So what if you brought them out?! You expect us to buy it all?! Do you want to bankrupt my guild!!?”

Well! That’s a bit uncalled for…

Still, I could sort of understand.

In the end, the Guild bought all the Red Tail Caiman skin and fangs, Emperor Dorado’s magic stone, all the Killer Termite jaws, various shells and Cetus skin. They bought all the shark’s skin and teeth, but only a third of the Sea Serpent’s fangs and skin.

“Thanks to you, we have a lot more Adventurers in this city now. So, the demand for weaponry and armour materials had increased,” said Willem-san with a sigh. “Anyway, I shall calculate the appropriate price for you. Please come back in three days.”

“Alright, I’ll see you in three days.” I was just about to bid the Guild Master and Johan-san goodbye when Fer nudged me.

“Oi, ask them about the thing.”

“Thing? What thing?”

“What thing- the Leviathan! Leviathan!!”

“Ah…” when I turned to face Willem-san and Johan-san, I- well, their faces had sort of twisted up…

“H-hey, you don’t expect us to buy a freaking Leviathan, do you?”

“N-no, no, well, it’s just…” I looked at Johan-san hopefully.

“No way!! No freaking way!! I can’t do it!!”

As expected…

Aww, all four of my familiars actually drooped in disappointment. Haha.

“Master, maybe you could just let me take a bite…”

“No way! Master’s skills could only shine brighter after the meat had been dismantled!! Slurp.”

“… …”

“… wait, you’re planning to-”

“… but of course…”

“… haha,”

Willem-san sighed, “Rather than that, wouldn’t it be better to present such a… find to the king? For one thing, the Holy Kingdom of Rubanov would most likely make a complaint to the king about your familiars destroying their main church.”

“Eh, but why would they complain to the king when I did it?”

Willem-san gave me look, “Because you’re currently living on his land? Anyway, there was no way they would confront you directly. So, the next best thing is to complain to the king.”

“Ah, so it’s like complaining to my landlord when they can’t get to me. I see, I see,”

“… yes, anyway, the king won’t take their complaints seriously, but it would still be troublesome. So, it would be in your best interest to offer some of your more extravagant Drop items to, er, your local landlord.”

It does seem to make a lot of sense. I nodded and said, “I’m afraid I’ll be troubling you again, Willem-san.”

“Well, I could go on your behalf, but since this thing has happened, don’t you think it would be better for you to have an audience with the king this once?”

“Eeehhh….”

How troublesome. I really don’t want to meet with the leaders of a country. Who knows what kind of favours they might ask me. But… Willem-san is right, I can’t keep avoiding the king. This was as good a time to go as any…

“Not to mention, it is possible that the Royal Capital Adventurer’s Guild would have someone with the skills to dismantle a Leviathan…”

“Umu, let’s go.”

“What-”

“Sounds like a plan, let us pay the Royal Capital a visit, Master.”

“Hey-”

“”Yay! The Royal Capital~ The Royal Capital~!””

“”Meat~ Giant sea dragon meat~!!””

Ughh…

“Well, looks like the decision had been made for you~”

I can totally see that smirk on your face, Willem-san.

“Hahhh… anyway, I’ll see you in three days,” I sighed

“Hohoho, see you in three days~!”

[1] [1] [1]

[Gumihou: Ah, so it’s the Royal Capital next!]

[1] Deleted the rest of the 80 words which was basically the summary of the whole chapter