This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!



"What have you learned about the Fonias. Tell me everything."

Glasses nodded at my words.

"There's quite a few problems with them, my lord. The Fonias duchy is less like a noble dukedom and more like a Mafia house. Their actions are not that different either, except, maybe, mafia's have some sense of integrity."

Miss glasses nodded and then pulled open the binders she had handed over to each of us. Following a strange Dark Moon logo stating confidential, the contents of their investigations were laid out perfectly.

"From killing to kissing, murder to prostitution, there's nothing these guys are not involved in. After months of investigation, we have managed to narrow things down to three cores of their structure. What keeps them afloat. If you want to do anything to the Fonias household, politically, at least, you'll have to get rid of these three things."

I leaned back and propped my chin.

"The first thing was the worst to trace, but the web their influence reached down to was shocking."

"What do they do?"

"Money lending."

***

In a faraway farmland in Schwarz, an old farmer's house was knocked on.

The small village that barely saw any visitors was rather quiet and empty.

"Coming!" A voice resounded from the small oak house as the doors opened.

Greeting the young daughter of the farmer, were two men with scraggly beards.

"Y-yes?"

"Move!"

The men pushed the girl aside and barged into the house. They started picking up whatever worthless thing filled the house and smashed it on the ground while bagging anything of even some minor value.

"W-what are you doing!"

"Bitch! You either pay us, or we are taking all this."

"P-please! We'll pay you back. In some—AH!"

The men kicked the girl in the stomach and sent her reeling away.

Right then, someone else stepped inside the house. He glared at the two men and turned his face toward the girl. "Now, let's not do that, this girl is a valuable too."

"Huh…?"

"Bag her."

"Yes sir."

The men ravaged the place inside out, they knocked down the girl and took her along. Before they left, the farmer had returned.

"Oh my! W-whwat are! Why!?"

"Kakkaka! You delayed the payment, of course we're going to do this. You signed an agreement, remember?"

"P-please! I brought all the money! All of it!"

The men turned their heads toward their leader.

"With interest, please, let my daughter go!"

The leader smiled and widened his arms. "Of course, why won't we? The cash?"

"Here! Here, please!"

"Hm… 10, 20, hmm, you've got everything, more than the interest as well."

"I-its for you, sir! Please, now!"

"Too bad though, we've already taken stuff, placing it back will take too long."

The man raised his hands and kicked the farmer, sending him reeling in pain.

"Just in case you don't snitch."

With a knife in hand, he crouched over the farmer and stabbed his tongue. Then, the leader chopped off each of the farmer's fingers before finally leaving him be.

"Kakakaa! Amazing, leader!"

"Brutal as ever! Serves him right, help these bastards and they suck up all your money."

The group traveled over to the nearest town and entered their office. Where yet more people awaited them in the same business.

"You're right on time. I guess you got the money and the collateral."

"Of course."

"Great, place it all in the bag."

The cash was poured in a black trash bag, and then thrown outside the buildings.

Workers would then come and take the bags away from all such outlets in the town and the ones next direction over. A caravan of cash would then be formed and sent straight to the cities.

Large corporations, merchants, and banks.

"A loan of three hundred thousand gold coins? That won't be a problem at all. Ah, you can have it all cash right now."

"Oh! Thank you! As expected of the bank backed by the Fonias family."

"Just sign at all these places, and please remember you aren't to miss any payments."

"Of course!"

Just like that, in all the rooms of the banks across the many cities, new and old businesses alike would take out a loan.

And when the time to repay them came around.

"Sir! There was a fire in the store!"

"Sir! The Imperial Knights are here, someone reported our books!"

Hindrances would come in the way.

And…

"You couldn't make the payment. We'll be collecting the collateral… Your entire business, that is."

***

"From the bottom to the top, there's no where their money doesn't flow."

"Troublesome."

"For now, its still just blooming and dying business, my lord. But that is because this is the weakest of their outlets. It helps them control threats to their legal businesses while making a great amount of cash as well."

"A slush fund?" I asked. If that was the case, then it was a rather smart way to go about it. The long trail would make it almost impossible for things to be traced back to them, and they would have enough funds no matter the place.

I also glanced at Marcin and Meryl only to find them looking down at the ground.

"Second…" Miss glasses spoke this time. "Is slightly worse, a continental trade."

I leaned forward on my desk.

"Drugs."

"Drugs? Is that something so worrying?"

"About that…" Glasses spoke.

And miss glasses immediately bowed in front of me.

"I apologize, my lord. We weren't able to find much about this."

"It's alright," I waved my hands and looked at Albert. "Don't you think all this is too… plain?"

"Took words out of my mouth. I remember there being a Fonias episode in that thing, but that doesn't tell us why all this is so typical." Albert crossed his arms. "What do you guys think?"

At Albert's question, glasses lowered his head.

"The problem is not that these guys are openly corrupt, it is that they have a long history of being so."

"Hey! The Fonias is not like that! Our ancestors were righteous and truthful!"

Marcin's emotional words only earned a frown from everyone that had heard more than enough. Even Meryl seemed to have been trying to get him down, the boy grunted and sat back down.

"How long have you been corrupt for then?" Asked glasses.

"About… three hundred years…"

"That's history enough, my lord."

"What's your point?" Lethe asked this time. "Is it like they're traditionally bad so let them be?"

"Uh, that's not far off," glasses spoke. "Their influence reaches every corner of this country, my lord. I apologize for being blunt, but you've been born in the wrong place."

"That's alright. Don't apologize."

"Simply speaking, the ruler in incompetent, the heirs even more so. The one who showed a slight hint of competence, princess Hoya, is now too busy playing house in the academy." Glasses sighed and continued. "From the ministers to the other nobles, knights, the court, banks, ports, merchants, there's no one in this kingdom not involved with the Fonias except the margraves, the duke of the south and his faction, and Marquis Hall. If you want to bring them to justice legally, that is impossible."

"Hmm…"

"And the best place to see this, is the third thing on our list. The black market they run in the capital city."

***

In the outer edges of the capital city of Schwarz, not far into woods yet not close to the city, existed a small cave guarded by knights.

Carriages of pure black rolled through the streets and neared the edges of the city where the cave lay.

Stepping out of them, ladies and gents in masks strode over to the caves.

The people handed over a small token to the guards and, the guards moved aside.

"Please do not look back as you enter. We thank you for your patronage."

"Hoho! Of course!"

The group stepped inside.

All of their statures filled with nervousness. Without looking anywhere else, they walked straight into the cave. Sounds of drums resounded and then bangs and screams echoed.

And at last they crossed a slight turn in the cave.

One of their gazes went to the back.

"AAAAAAH!"

And the person disappeared.

"Don't look anywhere else, we're almost there."

The group of guests were overtaken by a burst of light. And when they finally passed through.

The sight of the grand black market revealed itself.

"Auction! Supreme auction! Buy the best quality items now! Made with alchemists from the kingdom of sages!"

"Oh! Will this beast win, or will the farmer with his plough win once more? Bet here!"

"Think you're strong? Then join coliseum now!"

"Oh! Lady there, with the mask, oh, everyone here has masks ahahah! Anyway, you can use some of our beauty drugs."

"And for today's attraction! We have special slaves waiting to be sold. All VIP customers, please make your way here."

***

"All the scum of the kingdom gather right there," said Glasses. "If you want to topple Fonias over, you'd best handle all these three first. But knowing you, lord, you're going to suggest we kill them, right?"

"We will, we will," I nodded. "But only after sucking up everything they have. Webs this deep. I am going to take them for myself."