Chapter 45 : Only for Me to See
*Lena*
Adrian retreated from the area, glancing back only once as he slipped back through the door of the
warehouse.
Xander didn't speak. He just looked at me, his hands tucked in the pockets of his j acket.
I waited for him to say something for a moment, to say anything, but he was silent.
I shook my head, looking down at my boots before straightening up and attempting to walk past him
toward the door.
He caught me by the elbow, pulling me to a halt.
“What are you wearing?" he asked, his voice low with a hint of rage.
“A dress," I sneered, yanking my arm free.
He ran his tongue along the inside of his lower lip, looking me up and down. I wished the hunger in his
eyes hadn't had the effect on me that it did. My stomach tightened with anticipation as his gaze slowly
met mine again.
“What do you want, Xander?"
“I need to apologize-"
“Need, or want? Those are two different things—"
He closed the distance between us with a single step, leaning down to whisper in my ear. His breath
was warm on my neck, bringing a fresh wave of fire across my skin.
“I'm sony I wasn't there for you when Slate assaulted you in that alley."
I closed my eyes, breathing in his scent. He was wearing cologne, something woodsy and warm. I lost
myself in it for a moment before I broke away from him once more.
“I need to find Heather and Vivien," I said flatly, void of emotion.
“They left," he replied, and my shoulders fell.
“What?"
“Heather left with a man, someone I don't know. And Viv told me she'd seen you come out here. I
promised her I'd walk you back to your apartment when you were ready to leave."
I sighed, gritting my teeth as I looked up into his eyes. “I don't need your- help getting home. It's not
far."
"If Slate-"
“Slate's gone," I said, a little too loudly. I flushed as a group of partygoers standing on the edge of the
dock looked in our direction.
Xander took a step closer to me, furrowing his brow. “What do you mean he's gone? I saw him
yesterday."
“You did?" I felt my knees start to weaken as I thought back to tire night in the alley, about the blinding
light, and waking up alone and covered in an inch of fresh snow.
“What did you do to him, exactly?" he whispered, his hand gliding down my back.
I didn't realize he was holding me upright until I reached out to steady myself on the railing, wrapping
my hand around the ice- covered metal.
“I don't know, Xander. I really don't."
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇt“You used your powers."
I looked up at him, tears welling in my eyes despite my efforts to stop them. “I'm not who you think I
am," I whispered as tire truth rose like bile in my throat. “My name is Selene. My father is-"
“I know," he replied, reaching up to brush a lock of hair from my face and tuck it behind my ear.
“You don't understand-"
“I understand more than anyone," he interrupted, then reached out to pull my hand from the railing,
wrapping his hand around my chilled fingers. “You spent yourself using your powers-"
“Why did the blood root help me? Wiry did you go back to Crimson Creek?"
“We need to talk about this in private," he said as a group passed us on the dock.
He took my hand, but inside of leading me around the warehouse, he brought me back inside, and we
were hit with a rush of warmth as we entered the crowded warehouse and walked beneath the
twinkling lights.
He took me to the bar and began to pour two glasses of punch.
“What are you doing? I drought we needed to talk?"
“We do," he said, handing me a glass as he took a sip, grimacing as he swallowed it down. I knew it
was heavily spiked; I could smell the liquor die second I brought it to my lips. “This is your last college
party though. Let's live it up, for a minute. It's still early." He downed the punch in a single gulp, and I
couldn't fight the smile that spread across my mouth as his eyes watered.
I finished my punch with a similar expression, and in a single flash of twinkling lights Xander had his
arm around my waist, leading me to die dance floor.
I made a promise that I'd never forget that night. My jacket had been tossed somewhere along the
sidewall long ago now, leaving my skin exposed for Xander to touch. His fingertips along my upper
amis as we danced felt like little bursts of electricity, die sensation mingling with music as he moved
with the crowd.
I was close to him, my chest pinned against his abs as he held me close.
Perfect. This moment was perfect. The music and the alcohol made every thought, every stress, and
every anxiety I had flicker into embers to be replaced by a growing desire to get Xander alone.
That feeling was only heightened when his hands traveled down my waist, his fingers toying with the
break in the fabric over my hip bone. He chuckled, bending down to whisper into my ear.
“You're not wearing underwear, are you?"
“No," I breathed, closing my eyes as his lips grazed over the top of my ear.
The music seemed to only get faster and more sensual. His hands continued their exploration of my
body. Abigail had been right about the dress. Xander couldn't keep his hands off of me.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. We'd ended things. There was only one thing we needed to talk
about now, and it had nothing to do with our relationship.
I couldn't help myself, though. All of the questions I had, everything I needed to know just... faded into
oblivion, leaving me wanting for only one thing.
“We should get out of here," he whispered into my hair, turning me around to face him.
I was glistening with heat in the soft white lights above our head, and my hair was damp with sweat
around my temples. I didn't know my mouth was slightly ajar until he kissed me, his tongue sliding over
my lips and then against my tongue. A fever shot through me, blinding me to everything, and everyone,
in the room.
“Where's your jacket?"
“I don't know," I said against his lips as he pulled me into a deeper embrace, our bodies still moving to
the music.
“I'll buy you a new one," he growled hungrily, his hands planted firmly on my hips.
I could feel his need through the jeans he was wearing, and I subconsciously ground myself against
him. He hitched his breath, then smiled lazily, wrapping one arm over my shoulder.
“We're going back to my place."
All I corrld say was, “Okay."
***
Xander wrapped his jacket around my shoulders as we walked out of the warehouse. I slipped on the
snow-covered sidewalk but he caught me, murmuring about having to cany me back to his apartment.
His place was across town, from what he said, and when I argued that we could go to mine, he shook
his head, saying he didn't want an audience to the conversation that needed to be had.
The mention of what we needed to talk about brought me back to reality. The cold was biting into my
skin as we walked, even with his jacket covering me and his steady arm over my shoulder.
Talk. It was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to be alone with him. I wanted to inn my fingernails
down his naked back and let him claim me again, and again, and again.
We crossed a snow-packed street and Xander stopped, pulling into a diner.
“What are we doing here?" I asked as I let him lead me into a booth near the window overlooking the
street.
Snow was falling again, thick and heavy. He ruffled his hair, sending little sprinkles of water over our
table.
“Eating," he said casually as a bored looking waitress set two menus on the table.
I shifted my weight in the booth, looking around at the patrons of the dinner. It was quiet here, nothing
but the sound of the cook tapping his spatula against the griddle and the soft hum of dated music
drifting out of an old jukebox in the far comer.
“You're thin, Lena."
“I was very sick," I mumbled, opening my menu. His jacket was covering my exposed shoulders and
fell over- the slit up my thigh. I was thankful for that, but felt guilt as I noticed his amis prickle with
gooseflesh. He was wearing only a tee shirt and jeans. He had to be freezing. “Take your jacket back-"
“No," he replied firmly, glancing at me through his lashes before settling his gaze back on his menu.
“Not while you're wearing that dress. That's only for me to see."
Only for him to see. His words sent another thrill of desire shooting down my spine. He'd told me once,
in the throws of passion, that I was his.
But then I thought about how I'd asked him to mark me, and he hadn't. We ended things there.
I ordered a plate of over-easy eggs and bacon with a side of pancakes. Xander- watched me as I
recited my order to the waitress, waiting for me to finish before he added a side of hashbrowns and
sausage gravy to what I'd be eating. He ordered something similar, and two coffees for the table, and
then the waitress left us.
Neither of us spoke for a moment, not until we had our coffee in front of us. He watched me over the
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏmrim of his mug, his dark eyes fixing on my own.
“You could've told me who you were from the beginning," he finally said, breaking the silence between
us. I cleared my throat as I toyed with a packet of sugar, glancing up at him for a moment before
looking away.
“No one knows. I wanted to keep it that way."
“Even from your friends?"
“Yes."
He pursed his lips, nodding.
“I thought this had something to do with why you're always so high strung. Being a princess will do that
to you, I guess."
I looked down into my coffee. “I wanted to do this on my own and not have anyone question my skills,
or grades, based solely on my rank. I got into Morhan on my own."
“And your family used some kind of fake name to pay your tuition-"
“I have an aunt in Red Lakes. She paid it under her name," I said softly, the comer of my mouth
twitching as I thought of my golden-haired aunt, Kacidra. and my uncle Pete. Kacidra was a physician,
and Pete had been, and still was, a stay-at-home father to their six, yes, six, children.
“Your family must be proud of you," he said softly.
“They are, but..." I trailed off, sipping from my coffee before continuing, “My studies don't matter much
in the grand scheme of things."
“What do you mean?"
“Any career I have... wherever I choose to go after this... it'll be short lived."
Xander- arched his brow, but I was interrupted from continuing by the waitress returning with our food.
She set several platters in front of us, enough food for a small army, and I swallowed involuntarily as I
stared down at the stack of pancakes glistening with syrup and butter.
“You were saying?" Xander- began to eat his meal, his eyes flicking up to mine, waiting for me to
continue.
I cut into my pancakes, toying with them before meeting his eye. “I'll be the White Queen one day."
“Tire White Queen? You?" Xander looked, and sounded, shocked. He cleared his throat, and for a split
second, a look of dread washed over his features. What was that about?
“Now you know," I murmured, then I took a bite of my food. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I
turned my attention to eating, the two of us sharing a moment of silence.
But every time I glanced at Xander. I noticed his face was drawn. He looked as though he was fighting
some internal conflict.
I didn't eat much, but I ate as much as I could, pushing my half-empty plate to tire end of the table.
Xander was just sitting there, looking down at his plate.
“Are you alright?" I asked.
“I thought it would be a while before you had to consider becoming the White Queen," he said hoarsely.
His eyes met mine, intense, and desperately conflicted.
“I'm sorry I didn't tell you outright," I said, but he shook his head, reaching into the back pocket of his
jeans to pull out his wallet. He set a stack of bills on tire table, then motioned toward tire door.
“Are you ready to go?" he asked.
I nodded, wondering if whatever I'd said to him had made him change his mind about taking me back to
Iris place.