Pay With Your Heart

510 Second Chance

A villain of them all. Ji-Tae muttered in his head, his gaze still turned to her.

“You think I’m a villain?” He softly asked with a tone Ni-Na hadn’t heard him use before. It sounded like he was curious to know if that was her opinion of him.

Ni-Na shrugged noncomitantly. “I’ve always known you at your worst, Ji-Tae. You’ve never made me or anyone else see the best of you.” She replied.

“And that makes me a villain?” He asked with a slight raise of his brow, and Ni-Na gave a side shrug.

“It makes you unkind and unfair to us. And when you’re those things to people, you become a villain.” She replied, and Ji-Tae tersely nodded. He returned his gaze to the bleak nature ahead of him.

Ni-Na turned and observed the look on his face, but it was inscrutable, and she couldn’t tell what was going on in his mind.

What was he thinking about? She couldn’t help but wonder.

He didn’t seem affected that she saw him as a villain. Maybe he already knew it, as he had created that personality for himself.

Nevertheless, Ni-Na placed her hand on top of his.

.....

“But it’s never too late, Ji-Tae.” She said, and Ji-Tae raised his eyes to meet hers. “It’s never too late to be kind and fair and to want a second chance. Maybe if you change your ways, things might turn out for the better. You might get a little more time to be with us because the truth is, mom and dad are not ready to lose their son, but even if we are, it doesn’t have to be like this.” She said, slightly squeezing his hand.

“Ji-Tae, please don’t make us live in regrets thinking about what we could have done better.” Ni-Na found herself pleading, and even though a part of her didn’t want, she couldn’t stop herself.

“If you had a child, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to lose them without putting up a fight or spending each moment with them so they would know they’ll forever be missed, right?” Ni-Na paused and sniffled, and it was at this point she realized she was crying.

Ji-Tae maintained his inscrutable gaze on her. ‘If he had a child?’ He already had one, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to tell her that.

He watched as Ni-Na hastily wiped away her tears as if embarrassed by them, but the more she tried, the more they fell.

Her lips quivered as she tried to speak, but more tears streamed down her cheeks.

Ni-Na wasn’t sure if her tears were solely for Ji-Tae or for the perverse side of her, which was still wistful for a love she might never have, but she’d rather believe it was the former. It was more face-saving.

Ji-Tae was undoubtedly a horrible person. He had led a horrible life and did the worst things, but he was still her brother. He was a son, a brother, a cousin, and a nephew.

Bad as he was, she would miss him if anything were to happen to him.

She’d miss his annoying smiles and the way he walked like he was a beast on prowl, even though he was only an annoying pheasant.

Ni-Na brashly wiped her tears away and sniffed. She intently steeled her gaze on him, but his eyes were as calm as still water, like he wasn’t the least perturbed by his predicament.

Of course, he wouldn’t. He must be treating his situation with that reckless streak that was always about him.

But despite his armored facade, Ni-Na wanted to believe he was affected by this somehow. No one could be so calm with a death hanging over their heads, not even her brother.

She gave his hand a gentle pat. “Make things right, Ji-Tae. Not just for yourself but all of us who love you and can love you the way you’re meant to.” Love him the way he deserves to be loved as a brother and son because all they’ve ever done was tolerate him and all his excessive dealings.

Ni-Na gazed into his eyes when she realized she had said all she had to say and had nothing more. At this point, she wondered if he would say something, but all she got was his silent and stoic stare.

She derisively scoffed in her head. How typical of him.

She wasn’t even sure if she wanted him to say something. Maybe it was best if he didn’t.

It would be better if he pondered on all she had said and acted on it. Even that would be a miracle, but she wanted to be hopeful like she believed he’d be fine.

Sure Ji-Tae wasn’t going to say anything, Ni-Na leaned in and kissed his cheek. It was something she hadn’t done in a very long time, and she registered the surprise in Ji-Tae’s eyes. “Know I love you, Ji-Tae.” She said before rising to her feet, his eyes following her.

Ni-Na stared at him one more time before turning to leave.

It was obvious he needed space to ponder on her words, and hopefully, she prayed he consider them and do what was right for the first time in his life.

Ni-Na had only taken a few steps when she stopped and turned back to him. “Mom and dad—” She said and paused, and Ji-Tae raised his head to her.

“They hope you talk to them soon.” She Informed, but still, there was no reaction on his face nor his eyes.

They held each other’s gaze for a while before Ni-Na turned around to leave, reminding herself again that it was better to leave him be.

Ji-Tae might try to be as tough as their older cousin, Dan-Han, but she knew he wasn’t, and even if he was, the sudden news about his health must have shocked him.

Ji-Tae had lived his life selfishly with no care whatsoever for the people around him, doing whatever he deemed for a fleeting high of reckless satisfaction. Still, she knew that no matter how tough and impassive he could be, he was affected by the news of having a limited time to live.

Anyone would be completely shattered by it, and Ni-Na hoped that when Ji-Tae got to that point when he couldn’t hold up anymore, he would remember he had those waiting for him, waiting to hold him and ease his pain, and for his sake, she hoped it wouldn’t be too late.

Too late?

Ni-Na couldn’t believe there’d ever be such a time when she’d fear for the person she had considered most annoying.

She just couldn’t believe it.

Her eyes burned, and tears quickly began to pool in her eyes. She quickened her steps and broke into a sprint.

Ni-Na pushed through the exit door and hurried down the hallway.

She had no idea where she was headed, but she just wanted to be away from there, away from the hospital, which suddenly felt suffocating.

Ni-Na’s vision was blurry, and just as she tried to blink away the tears, her body swayed as she bumped into someone. She had expected to fall, but a pair of hands swiftly caught her and held her steady.

“I’m sorr—”

“Ni-Na, why are you crying?” Came a voice brimming with concern, and Ni-Na hurriedly blinked, and just as she did, his face came into view.

“In-Ha?” She mindlessly muttered, surprised to see him there.

“Yes, it’s me.” He answered with his eyes narrowed with worry as he looked at her.

“Ni-Na, talk to me. Why are you cryi—”

Ni-Na pounced into his arms, and In-Ha’s hand instinctively went around her. She hooked her arms around his neck and buried her face in his neck as tears freely streamed down her eyes.

In-Ha’s hand tightened around her while the other brushed down her hair soothingly.

“It’s okay, Ni-Na. I’m here.” He soothingly spoke into her ears, but she only cried harder in his embrace.

He worriedly listened to her soft cry. It was a rare sight to see Ni-Na like this, and while he was utterly curious to know why she was crying so badly, he put all his attention into soothing her because, at this moment, he couldn’t think of anything else.

The sound of her crying pricked him, and he desperately wanted to pacify her till she was calm.

In-Ha ignored the attention they were gathering and focused solely on her.

Ni-Na remained in his arms as her tears uncontrollably fell. There seemed to be no end to them, so she let them fall. A plethora of thoughts were going through her head at the moment, and they were all too overwhelming.

But that familiar scent she had been craving all her life and for the last week was suddenly there to give her some comfort.

All Ni-Na wanted at that moment was to remain in arms and share his warmth a little longer, even though there were so many red flags surrounding her actions, but she couldn’t think all about them at the moment.

She was about to lose a brother that had never allowed her to show him how much she truly loved him and a man who she loved but couldn’t tell she did because he didn’t feel for her as she does for him.

“Stop crying now, Ni-Na. Please.” In-Ha pleaded, feeling extremely uncomfortable with her crying as hard as she did.

But hearing how softly he spoke to her and how tightly he was holding her, Ni-Na suddenly realized herself and pulled away.

Her heart skipped with shock, and her face flushed with mortification.

She lowered her head and hastily wiped her face, suddenly feeling too embarrassed to meet his gaze.

“Here,” In-Ha offered her a handkerchief, but she shook her head.

“No, thank you.” She declined, even though it already seemed too late for that. But late or not, she would savor whatever was left of her pride.

She wiped her face dry with her hands and slowly raised her gaze to him. She shouldn’t feel too embarrassed in front of him when he had seen her do more than cry.

She had writhed under him and cried out his name like it was the perfect thing she had ever done in her life.

“I’m sorry for my behavior. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.” She apologized with a deliberate effort to evade his eyes.

She raised her gaze to his shoulder, soiled with her tears, and she berated herself for being so stupid and weak in front of him. How could she have made herself so vulnerable in front of him, especially after all her effort to avoid him?

Ni-Na mentally slapped herself.

She shifted her gaze to his face, but she was careful not to meet his eyes because those blue-green eyes of his had some power over her. They were a weakness she didn’t want to admit.

“I’m sorry for the soiling your shirt, and if you’d let me pay for the dry-cleaning—”

“The hotel covers it, so you don’t have to worry about that,” In-Ha interjected, already aware of where she was about to take the conversation they were about to have.

“Okay, then—”

“Then tell me what that was about? Why were you crying in the middle of the hospital and aimlessly running like that?” He asked because if there was anything he had learned in the past few weeks with Ni-Na, it was that she would run away from him without telling him why he had met her crying. And he wasn’t going to let that happen.

He had only gotten out of the elevator to search for her in the cafeteria she had mentioned when she bumped into him with tears in her eyes.

“Ni-Na, why were you crying?” He curiously questioned, and if Ni-Na didn’t know any better, she would have believed there was something other than concern for her behind the tone he had used.

If only he could care for her as much as he was worried now. But again, that was wishful thinking, and she knew that.

“It’s nothing. I was just feeling bad —”

“For Eun-sun or your brother?” He asked with a tone that suggested he knew her well, and that irked her because he didn’t.

“How did you know about my brother?” Ni-Na coldly queried.

In-Ha non-committally shrugged. “I just heard.” He vaguely replied, and Ni-Na furrowed her brows at him.

.....

“Well, since you know, I guess you have your answer.” She sternly told him.

In-Ha was slightly taken aback by how cold she was suddenly sounding, but he guessed he shouldn’t be too surprised. She was still mad at him.

“Do you want to talk about it? I can—”

“In-Ha, there’s nothing for us to talk about. Nothing at all, and please don’t act like you know me so well because you don’t. Don’t think one night is enough to know exactly what I feel or think.”

“But I know you, Ni-Na. I’ve known you since you were four and even before that. I’ve known you all my life, and I know the little details about you.”

“Hell no, you don’t!” She snapped. “You know nothing because if you do, you’d know that I —” Ni-Na abruptly stopped herself before she made the biggest slip of her life that she’d forever regret.

She was being too irrational, especially in front of In-Ha, so she urgently had to leave. She had to be away from him till she resolved all these emotions inside her, and she would do just that.

“Thanks for lending me your shoulders, and I’m sorry for ruining your shirt, but that will be all. So have a good day if you’re already leaving.” She told him with a quick bow before turning towards the elevator, which was just beside them.

In-Ha caught her hand and turned her to face him. Ni-Na’s eyes glared at him, and before she could say anything, In-Ha spoke up.

“Is this how it’s going to be now? You’re going to push me away forever because of one mistake? I said I’m sorry, Ni-Na. I’ve apologized, and I’ll keep doing so. What else do you want me to do? Tell me, and I’ll do it.”

Tell him, and he’ll do it? Ni-Na looked at him with incredulity. So much for a man who claims to know her well.

“The fact that you still deem it a mistake is why we shouldn’t be having this conversation or anyone at all.”

In-Ha’s grip on her arm tightened as he pulled her closer, unwilling to give her a chance to escape him. “Why? Because I’m that evil?” He demanded. “You still see me as a male whore who sleeps around? Because I’m not good enough to—”

“No! But because I’m in love with you, Kang In-Ha!” Ni-Na snapped. “I’m in love with you, and that you don’t see it is the reason why I don’t want to talk to you. So yes, leave me the hell alone!”