Martial King's Retired Life

“This is the topic. Please try to finish writing within one hour. All right, you may commence.”

“Wait!”

Everyone looked to the rear, where half of an individual’s appearance was covered by the shadow that the sunlight cast on him. Yeah, that was me!

“Professor Xie, are you sure it is prudent to suddenly give a test? My chair is not even warm yet,” I complained.

“Fret not, for it is but a simple test.” I only just went to exhale when Professor Xie added, “Except that it will go on your record.”

What the hell was the point of the first part?!

I couldn’t care less if the tutors saw me with a big-fat zero and last place, but I bloody cared that His Majesty would see my performance report! If I hadn’t persuaded him that I was well-learned for the sake of misdirecting him, it wouldn’t have mattered. Problem was that I had convinced him I was erudite on everything above and below the firmament, past and present. His Majesty would probably confront me with a spear in hand if he saw my real performance.

“I understand that you have not adapted yet as it is your first day here.” Professor Xie was all smiles similarly to a holy teacher. “Everyone here is indispensable to the country’s future. How can we not dedicate our full effort? Do you know what the text ‘Spring Wind to Rain’ on the plaque out the front means? It means th-”

“Okay, okay, I only have one question.”

“Feel free to ask.”

“Can I sit this one out?”

“No.”

That was quick… Damn it…

“Can I take a make-up test tomorrow? It is my first day, after all.”

“No. You have tomorrow’s test to worry about tomorrow.”

“Okay, I will take the catch-up test on a day when we don’t have tests, then.”

Professor Xie shook his head.

“Why not?”

“Because we have tests daily here.”

“…”

“Everyone here is indispensable to the country’s future. How can we not dedicate our full effort? Do you know what the text ‘Spring Wind to Rain’ on the plaque out the front means? It means th-”

“Okay, okay, you win. I’ll take the test.”

“In summary, lots of tests is our institutes unique point.” Professor Xie sheepishly scratched his head. “I guarantee we have more tests than any institute out there.”

Where’s your modesty?! What’s the point in your confidence about that?!

Although Boss told me not to embarrass Liu Shan Men at Daren Academy, I’d rather save my life at the expense of everyone laughing at me, especially when I was in no condition to beat anyone His Majesty might send after my head.

I hyped myself up and took the sheet my classmate passed me with her shaky hand. The text read: “Confucius said, ‘He who acts on the promise of personal gain will rouse discontent.’ Confucius said, ‘What difficulties would there be if a state was governed with rites? What is the point in rites if a state was not governed with rites?’ They cannot become anything. Hence, emotional attachments and patience empower one to reap what they once could not.”

… Yeah, let’s just cheat. Who the hell understands this?! If I can’t face the problem head on, I’m going to find someone who can help.

As everyone should know, the easiest way to cheat is to copy, even more so when you’re totally unprepared as I was. Only problem was that, regardless of what class you’re in, those right at the back were the dunces! Everyone in front of me was doing origami, drawing or humming! Those who were earnest about studying sat at the forefront, except they didn’t look focused but troubled over the difficulty.

No point putting my hopes on a well far away when the fire is right here… All right, let’s focus. I should be able to avoid embarrassment if I can just be average in the class. Let’s just copy that guy.

“Ahem.” Quietly, I hollered, “Bro…”

The guy in front of me sprawled out onto the table and started snoring.

Wake up! Don’t give up, coward! We’ve only just started!

I looked to my right to see He Shi set his brush down.

You, too?!

“I am ready to hand up my paper,” He Shi said.

What are you? A straight-As student?! Hand it up later! I’m under a lot of pressure here!

***

“I understand that you may not be used to our test system on your first day, and I understand you must have your reasons for quitting martial arts to pick up studying,” Uncle Huang slammed my test paper onto the desk, “but what is this nonsense? What are these eighty turtles you drew supposed to mean?”

I bowed my head in embarrassment. “I ran out of time, or I would’ve been able to draw a hundred.”

Look, I gave up, okay? I wasn’t built for this.

“Look at you. Your shifu is incred-, average. You are his senior disciple, so how are you not even half of as competent? What did you learn from him?”

I learnt why flowers are red and why alcohol smells nice. Do those count?

Don’t ask me about these things. Ask Sixth. He was the one who excelled with his sword and brush. I heard he passed Beijiang’s royal exams last year under a fake name.

“It was a mistake to send you here. By the way, I didn’t have time to ask you this morning, but you haven’t caused any problems given you haven’t been here for long, right?”

“N…o.”

“You already did something?!”

“No, no. Do you know Zhao Tiankui?”

“Zhao Tiankui? You don’t know him? Well, I guess it’s normal for you not to know him. He is one of the top-ranking generals of this dynasty. At present he is the infantry governor. You could say he is one of the most authoritative generals.”

“Oh, I see.” I stroked my chin the way Uncle Huang stroked his beard. “What’s a governor?”

“… The commander of the Governor Estate is called ‘governor’. We have three military governors, one for the infantries, one of the cavalries and one for the navy. The three report to Governor Estate. Above Governor Estate is the commander-in-chief. The commander-in-chief represented the military when our dynasty was first formed. Nowadays, Qilin Guards’ grand commander commands the border forces. Why are you asking about him?”

“Nothing much. I just knocked his son into the lake in the morning.”

“…”

Glossary

Ming Feizhen’s test – The English translations should be understandable for you. The original Chinese, on the other hand, is written in archaic Chinese. As I’ve mentioned before, it’s like expecting everyone who speaks English to understand Shakespeare English, which doesn’t happen.