Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

HAPTER 93 JESS The late afternoon sun filtered through the curtains, casting a soft golden hue across the room where I sat cross- legged on my bed. It felt like a different world, but the familiar chaos of my mind still haunted the edges of my reality.

One week had passed since I woke up in that hospital room. I was back home, but was I back to normal? I had missed my graduation ceremony-along with Laure. Instead, we were huddled in bed together, eating snacks and watching the whole thing from the video call with Sam.

I watched, holding my breath to see if he was there. If I could see him, but he wasn't, or maybe Sam made sure she didn't point the phone in his direction.

He didn't even visitin the hospital or senda message... nothing. I wanted to say thank you to him for saving my life... I wanted to tell him... ugh. It was pointless. These thoughts were pointless.

The worst part was the nightmares. My memories flooded back in dizzying cascades. They never cas coherent scenes; instead, they were fragmented shards of a nightmare universe- the sounds of sirens, jagged glass, and darkness swallowingwhole. The nightmares tormented me, forcingawake in terror, my CHAPTER 93 heart racing and my body slick with sweat. I had no idea I was screaming until Josh wokeup a few times. For the past 3 days, though, it has stopped. I didn't wake up screaming, and Josh said I'd been sleeping through the night, though there was something he wasn't telling me. I could see it on his face.

It didn't matter. I was feeling better, and my headaches were less severe. I get to take my arm out of the sling in a few days and then start going for walks.

Our parents had left to return to Europe-precisely what I expected, but it didn't lessen the disappointment. I was thankful for the space, though. I was not used to having them here all the time. Josh was mostly at Laura or practice- I'd heard he got drafted along with Luke, and both of them were training for pre- season.

This morning, I had a pit in my stomach that had nothing to do with what had happened but more with what was going to happen. Today, Tom was coming over, and I had decided today was the day I would tell him it wouldn't work. Deep down, I think he knows, but I need to finish this.

I practiced what I wanted to say in my head, trying to find the perfect words, only to be interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. My stomach dropped. He had arrived.

"Shit. Okay. Jess. You got this," I chanted to myself.

With a deep breath, I smoothed my hair back, attempting to soothe my racing heart, but the instant he walked in, all I felt was guilt. Tom stood there, holding a bouquet of bright red flowers, his sweet, boyish grin lighting up his face as he stepped over the threshold. 08 02 CHAPTER 13 "Hey, Jess! I got these for you!" he exclaimed, offering the flowers like a gift from the heavens.

"Thanks, Tom," I replied, forcing a smile.

He stepped closer, the fatigue evident in the dark circles under his eyes. "How are you feeling today? You look better," he said, his voice laced with warmth.

"Better, I guess," I replied, my voice faint.

He nodded, that hopeful expression still etched on his face, but I could see the question in his eyes.

"Tom," I began, swallowing hard, trying to find the strength in those trembling words. "There's something I need to talk to you about." His grin faltered slightly as he sensed the shift in my tone, anxiety creeping into the squirreliness of his demeanor.

""What is it?" I inhaled deeply, attempting to steel myself. "You've been nothing but supportive, and I can't express how much I appreciate everything you've done for me-driving back and forth, being there when I needed someone..." As I spoke, I saw that sparkle in his eye dim, a flicker of realization dawning. "But I think... I think we need to break up." His expression fell completely, and in that instant, I felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room.

"Jess, what do you mean?" 08021 CHAPTER 01

"I mean..." My voice quivered, "I'm going to a different state for school, and it's better for both of us. I just can't... I can't keep pretending it's going to work when we're heading in NO such different directions. You are tired Tom, and if you don't play your best because you are dri I watched as confusion washed over his face, replaced by hurt. "Are you sure? Can't we at least try? I-I thought this was something we could work through together." The pain in his voice felt like a dagger twisting in my heart. "I'm sorry," I mumbled, clawing back tears. "But I need you to focus on your future. I don't want to hold you back."

Silence stretched between us, thick and suffocating. I felt the walls pressing in as though my world were collapsing under the weight of my choice. I could see the hurt radiating from him, and guilt clawed at my insides.

"Okay," he finally said, every letter laced with resignation. The sparkle of boyish hope was gone, replaced by something darker. "If that's what you really want." As the front door clicked shut behind him, I sank back onto my bed and I knew, I knew I wouldn't sleep tonight.