Lazy Dungeon Master

The Saintess 4

On the next day, the saintess was eaten by Rin a second time.

[This one’s, like Kehma too, it’s endless, food.]

“Keep on eating as much as you want~”

… Come to think of it, maybe the saintess doesn’t have a holy attribute? Rin said she tasted delicious… I doubt it, but is she something like a black-hearted bitch? … Or maybe food with the holy attribute just tastes a bit tingly?

Well, I decided to spin the 1000 DP gacha every time the saintess dies from here on.

Yep, the 1000 DP gacha.

Even though gacha is the reason I’m here in the first place, I haven’t been using it at all.

… I prefer relative reliability, so I’m pretty bad at leaving things to luck. We haven’t had extra income to waste so far so I haven’t really felt like possibly wasting money on gacha spins.

But now we’re getting twenty-five gold a day from the saintess’ inn fees. With Rin’s DP and the saintess’ DP added on to that, we’ve been making a killing recently. It’s been like a never ending comedy. We have enough surplus now to use even 1000 DP every day.

I mean, that saintess is loaded, isn’t she…. Even with that, she was only flexible enough to offer three hundred gold coins? Stingy. That’s twelve days of inn fees. Aren’t you going to go past that here soon?

“So, let’s see what comes out of the 1000 DP gacha.”

As a classic example of a MISS, a scrub brush appeared… Isn’t this like, 5 DP? The heck. Rather, stuff other than monsters can come out too? Didn’t know.

“… A miss? Kehma is super unlucky~. Do it again, go for it, it’s fine! Where’s your passion, your fighting spirit!? Gugugu, uooh! Do iiit!”

“I don’t get what you’re trying to say at all.”

Even though Rokuko’s only ever spun it twice, she’s trying to teach me how you’re supposed to go about gacha… She does have amazing luck though, what with getting another world’s person and a phoenix her two tries.

Yep, let’s have Rokuko do it tomorrow.

A knock came from the door, it was Ichika.

“Goshujin-sama~. Saintess-sama wants an audience~. What’ll ya do?”

So the saintess came again… Haah, what a troublesome person I have to meet. She’s probably here to report about seeing the commission’s target. I guess her not coming here right after seeing it yesterday was to make sure?

“Unfortunate, Rokuko. Saintess-sama is here. Please head into the master room.”

“What’re you saying, Kehma. Even though we’re together right now, you’d choose that saintess over me? Is she more important? Mou…” [1]

She said that like she was pouting, but she’s smiling anyways. Is it because I gave her the ring? She’s been hanging around me more often recently. I don’t really remember when it started though.

“You’re obviously more important. I’ll introduce you to the saintess. In the tiny chance that you get attacked though, I’d die. Literally.”

“… I know~! Fufu♪”

And now I feel like someone just said, “Huh? Did I just hear something that sounded like a lovers’ quarrel?” Did I just feel Haku-san’s blood lust…?

My remark was simply about the relation between a dungeon master and a dungeon core, it was a simply fact.

Seeing Rokuko off as she left for the master room in a good mood, I went to the parlor.

Ichika hadn’t waited at all and brought Saintess Alka there. She was there with the Wozuma Village sub-chief who was fully devoted to blending into the background as ever.

“Now then, do you have business here today?”

“Yes. I have found the commission’s target demon.”

The saintess said so with a smile on her face as she sat on the sofa facing me.

“So, will you be accepting the commission?”

“I don’t mind doing that, but there is a condition… Pass the dungeon core’s destruction rights to me.”

“I cannot talk about that. Please, come back after obtaining the emperor’s permission.”

“What? It is alright if Village Chief-san simply nods. You can have second-class land and three hundred gold coins simply by nodding you know? That is all, doesn’t that sound simple?”

“I shall refuse.”

An ordinary greedy and idiotic village chief would easily nod, but for me, it’s something more like, “I’ll give you money if you agree to let me kill you.” There’s absolutely no way I would give permission to that.

… I just thought of this now, but there’s the possibility that magical restrictions exist. I can’t say that something like instant death magic that can destroy the dungeon core as soon as I give the go-ahead exists or not. This is a world where magic exists after all.

Yep, I’m not exhausted at all. I can’t be half-asleep here. I want to go home!—is what I want to say.

“However, that is something that cannot be exterminated without me.”

“Hoh? What makes you say that?”

“Because it is a fact. That is a wicked, dark existence.”

And now Saintess-sama is speaking like a chuuni.

But assuming she’s right, that means there’s nothing it can’t eat huh… Is she bluffing? Or maybe there’s something else at play?

“However, it would take some time before I could eradicate it… so please decide before then.”

“That’s why I’m saying I refuse. You can just go back if you can’t accept the commission normally you know?”

“No, I’m saying, without me that demon can’t be exterminated.”

“No, no.”

“No, no, no.”

After that, I ignored her propagating the ‘Light God’s Decree’, turning down her demands for the right to destroy the dungeon core.

She didn’t accept the commission in the end.

Even though we were in a stalemate lasting till dinner time, she even tried solving it by brazenly repeating that she was growing hungry over and over.

Moreover, even though it wound up with us being in a deadlock till dinner time, she kept shamelessly saying, “I’m getting somewhat hungry,” here are there.

Did she fall head over heels in love with our inn’s meals, the heck is this saintess? Go on and head back to eat. I get it already, you can go back and eat so go on and do it!

“This food called ‘bubuzuke’ is delicious. Mmm, it’s turned into a feast. Village Chief-sama is indeed good at negotiations, I’ll negotiate with the kingdom to present you with better terms. Ah, another serving please.” [2]

“No, this will be billed to you as an extra fee onto your inn fees, so don’t worry about. Also, there isn’t another serving.”

Of course, in this world offering bubuzuke doesn’t mean ‘hurry up and return’, so it turned into a situation where we ate together normally. Hero Wataru would also probably be happy to eat it, so it’s probably just wouldn’t work in this world…

Footnotes:

Mou is just used as a pout here. I’m open to any suggestions to anglicize it, though I personally prefer keeping things like that.

Bubuzuke… where to start? Simply put, it is rice with green tea poured over it with a few toppings. In Kyoto, it is instead known a bubuzuke. If a native to Kyoto asks a guest if they would like some of this dish, it means that person has overstayed their welcome and is a way of asking them to leave.