Keyboard Immortal

Chapter 327: Touch Less

Translator: Pika

Everyone’s attention was focused on Zu An as the sharp-eyed person spoke. Clearly, he seemed like a joke in their eyes.

This guy, despite his ignorance and incompetence, had ended up married to Brightmoon City’s most ravishing beauty, and there were even ambiguous rumors floating around concerning the Immortal Abode’s Qiu Honglei. What the heck were the other men supposed to even do? They couldn’t stand looking at this guy.

Xie Daoyun gave Zu An a worried look. She knew that these scholars were all extremely proud individuals. Things were definitely going to become tricky for Zu An.

Despite this, she was curious as to how the man who could write such a stirring song would deal with a situation like this.

Wang Yuanlong was growing incredibly anxious. If he got involved, then he would surely tarnish the repudiation of the Four Way Restaurant. However, if he didn’t, he would surely offend Zu An, and perhaps even the Chu clan which stood behind him.

Helpless to do anything himself, he gestured to his subordinates to find a way to usher these men out.

Just as they were about to step forward, Sang Qian took a step forward and blocked them off.

Zheng Dan spared him a glance, but there was a playful smile on her lips. She had clearly sensed what was going on as well, but she wasn’t worried at all. This guy is blessed with a cunning evil. How could he possibly take this lying down?

Sure enough, Zu An’s loud laughter rang out. “May I ask what this gifted scholar’s esteemed name is?”

There was no panic in his voice at all.

The sharp-eyed man fanned himself gently. “Of course. This one is Starfire City’s Xu Qinsong.”

He had a cocky look on his face as he spoke, as if his name held a certain prestige.

The rest of the gathered crowd began to mutter amongst themselves once he announced his name.

Zu An picked at his ears. “I’ve never heard of you before. Are you famous?”

Xu Qinsong’s breath caught.

You have successfully trolled Xu Qinsong for 233 Rage points!

Xie Daoyun said quietly to him, “This Xu Qinsong is a gifted scholar from the neighboring Starfire City. You need to be careful.”

Xu Qinsong smiled and clasped his fist in her direction. “Miss Xie praises me too highly. I’ve heard that Miss Xie is Brightmoon City’s most talented individual, and I am a long-time admirer of you. I’ve always wanted a chance to exchange some poetry with you.”

“Young master Xu is being too serious.” Xie Daoyun nodded in his direction. Her etiquette was impeccable, but there wasn’t a single flicker in her gaze.

Xu Qinsong’s face went rigid when he saw how disinterested she was. He immediately realized that she was numbered among Zu An’s companions, and therefore she wasn’t willing to pay him much attention. He gave Zu An another glare.

You have successfully trolled Xu Qinsong for 334 Rage points!

Bro, why are you getting angry at me if your crush doesn’t like you? “All right, all right. Didn’t you start all of this because you wanted to challenge me? So? What do you want to challenge me to? Do you want to compete fairly or unfairly?”

What kind of joke is this? I’ve experienced nine years of compulsory education, and run the gauntlet of those innumerable online trolls. Do you think I’ll lose to some stupid native from this world?

Xie Daoyun was surprised that Zu An hadn’t backed down in the slightest. It was already too late to stop this.

She wondered why this guy was so impetuous. This situation could’ve been avoided if he’d just backed down. Don’t tell me Zu An actually has something up his sleeve?

Meanwhile, Xu Qinsong was overjoyed. He had made the trip to Brightmoon City precisely to gain recognition. Zu An would be the perfect stepping stone.

He was worried that this fellow wouldn’t dare to challenge him, but he had jumped into the pit all on his own! He quickly said, “It’s quite simple. I’ll name a few phrases. If you can match them with a phrase of your own to make a couplet, then I’ll deem you worthy of heading upstairs.”[1]

Zu An snorted. “Who do you think you are? Do you think that this restaurant needs your approval? The only reason I agreed to your competition is because you seem to be itching to get your face smacked. You seem so desperate, I’m beginning to feel sorry if I don’t help you out.”

Of course, Zu An was doing this mainly because he didn’t want to give up any opportunity to earn Rage points.

The crowd was stupefied. Wasn’t this guy going a bit too far?

Even Xie Daoyun frowned. After all, even she had caught wind of Xu Qinsong’s talents, and she wasn’t confident that she could defeat him herself. Where did this guy get his confidence from?

Despite his formidable musical prowess, it had nothing to do with literary talent!

You have successfully trolled Xu Qinsong for 666 Rage points!

Xu Qinsong had never seen such an arrogant person before. He tamped down on his rage and said, “In that case, then please accept my challenge.

“The general shoots at a tiger. The bow is strong, but the stone is tougher.”

There were quite a few proud scholars here. All of them began to ponder over these words. Even Xie Daoyun’s brow furrowed.

Even though this seemed like a simple association test, it touched upon a classical story.

There was once a general who saw a tiger in the distance, so he fired at it with his bow in a panic. When the arrow landed, he discovered that there was no tiger at all—it was just a rock shaped like a tiger. However, this arrow still penetrated into the stone, and so the people of the world all praised the strength of his arm.

Because of this, matching it really was quite difficult.

Only Zu An turned up his nose in disdain. He had expected the scholars of this world to have some skills. Was this all they could offer?

As such, he randomly replied, “The courtesan drinks herself drunk. Even though her body lies still, no one touches her hand.”

Xie Daoyun repeated these words silently. She found that the matching really was meticulously done. But the meaning of this phrase was a bit too...

Zheng Dan laughed behind pursed lips. This fella really did have some strange talents.

Xu Qinsong was quivering violently as he pointed at Zu An, his face completely red. “You... are insulting common decency!”

You have successfully trolled Xu Qinsong for 145 Rage points!

Zu An laughed. “Insulting common decency? These are clearly words of advice. Aren’t you the one with the dirty mind?”

Xu Qinsong snorted angrily, “I’ll count you as matching it well this time. Listen up, here’s the next one. I refuse to believe that you’ll get lucky and match it again.”

“If I match it then I match it. What do you mean, you’ll count it as a match? If you have any more to offer, then come at me. Then again, with your level of skill, I really doubt it’ll be anything special,” Zu An said disdainfully.

Viciousness flashed across Xu Qinsong’s eyes. “Here’s the next phrase: Filial piety is the first among virtues; remember to visit home often’!”

The spectators became quiet when they heard this. They looked back and forth between the two competitors.

They all knew that Zu An had been orphaned at a young age, and the uncle that had raised him had passed on as well. What family did he have left?

As for the Chu clan, he was but a drafted son-in-law. Judging by the values of this world, no one would consider this clan his family at all.

He didn’t even have a family to go back to. Who was he supposed to visit?

Xie Daoyun frowned. “Young master Xu, you’re crossing the line.”

Xu Qinsong smiled. “I do not understand what miss Xie is saying. Is there anything wrong with my phrase? This is something everyone should acknowledge, right? Perhaps this is already too much for him?”

Xie Daoyun opened her mouth to retort, but closed it again without saying anything. If she spoke up for Zu An right now, she would have fallen for his trap and brought shame to Zu An.

She gave Zu An a worried look, but she didn’t see anything awful or angry in his expression.

Zu An looked at Xu Qinsong. “Bro, your eye bags are quite large.”

“What does that have to do with you?” Xu Qinsong snorted. “Scholars like myself who have dedicated ourselves to our studies often do not have time for much rest. It’s common for us to have eye bags.”

“Is that so? Then according to your words, those who don’t have dark circles around their eyes don’t study hard? Miss Xie here is considered the most talented in Brightmoon City, but she doesn’t have any eye bags.” Zu An pointed at Xie Daoyun, who was standing beside him.

Xie Daoyun blushed. Why are you involving me?

Everyone looked at Xie Daoyun’s beautiful complexion. All of them sighed with praise. At the same time, they directed angry looks at Xu Qinsong.

Xu Qinsong waved his hand vigorously. “That’s not what I am trying to say. Our constitutions are probably different, that’s all.”

Zu An had anticipated his answer. He pointed at everyone around him. “Look, how many others here have dark circles? Do none of them work as hard as you?”

Xu Qinsong now knew what it meant to be the target of everyone’s anger. He immediately panicked. “Why are you resorting to malicious attacks? That’s not what I meant at all!”

You have successfully trolled Xu Qinsong for 444 Rage points!

“Ah, I understand now.” Zu An laughed. “It seems like you probably spend too much time indulging in debauchery. That’s why your body is so weak.”

“How dare you slander me!” Xu Qinsong was furious. However, he did his best to keep his wits about him. “If you can’t match my phrase, then admit that you can’t match it. Why do you have to ramble on about all this nonsense?”

You have successfully trolled Xu Qinsong for 666 Rage points!

“Who said that I can’t match it?” Zu An smiled mysteriously, “The phrase you gave me is ‘Filial piety is the first among virtues; remember to visit home often’. Considering your current situation, let me gift you another association: ‘Excessive lust is the root of all evil; less touching of women is advised’.”

A stunned silence momentarily descended on the room, before the entire room erupted with uncontrolled laughter.

Even Xie Daoyun’s face became completely red. This guy was really ingenious, always managing to link whatever he said back to this same topic.

Xu Qinsong’s face became entirely red. “You, you, you... you are insulting common decency! Truly insulting common decency!”

You have successfully trolled Xu Qinsong for 999 Rage points!

Unfortunately, his anger was completely smothered by the ruckus that had now engulfed the room.

Sang Qian cursed when he saw this scene. “Trash!”

Xu Qinsong was in a state of complete provocation. He said loudly, “I still have more phrases, still have...”

With his talents, it was easy for him to come up with more literary phrases. However, the two previous phrases had been defeated by the word ‘touch’, which made him begin to doubt his very life. He really didn’t know what phrase he could use to redeem himself.

Zu An laughed as he saw him stammer and stutter about. “All right, you were the one who posed the questions, and I’ve already responded. It’s now my turn to pose one.”

1. In Chinese culture, matching rhyming couplets is a very common game to demonstrate intelligence. In ancient China, this practice was just as famous as the game of chess or calligraphy, without the limitations of space or equipment.

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