Keyboard Immortal

Chapter 263: Fragrant Barf

Translator: Pika

Zu An clearly hadn’t gotten enough of her legs yet, but he didn’t want to die, either.

He immediately let go, his expression as pure and honest as it could be.

Jiang Luofu finally nodded in satisfaction. She continued, “The Shi clan is one of the bigger clans even in the capital, and their members are scattered all over the court’s positions of power. We don’t have much substantial proof to back our claims, and even if we did have something on them, they would just toss out a random scapegoat to take the fall. It wouldn’t even cause a dent in their foundation.”

“Then how do I take down a clan like this?” Zu An asked, feeling a bit annoyed inside. It sounded like the Shi clan was the only who could mess with him, while he was powerless to retaliate.

How could he stand this?

“The only way is to have a big clan backing you as well, although big clans wouldn’t usually fight to the death even if tensions escalated severely.” Jiang Luofu replied with a frown. “Of course, you can just ignore all of these things if you become strong enough yourself one day. But there’s no way things would be so easy. Even if your cultivation surpassed the emperor’s, there would still be too many things to worry about.”

Zu An stayed silent. He remembered learning about the emperor’s conflict with King Qi from the Chu clan. The emperor was already publicly acknowledged as the strongest expert, yet he still couldn’t accomplish what he wanted. This thought immediately discouraged him.

Noticing his crestfallen expression, Jiang Luofu tried to console him. “You don’t need to feel too down. You already have the Chu clan backing you. Together with your status as a student of the academy, the Shi clan wouldn’t dare to threaten you openly, no matter how powerful they are.”

Zu An sighed. “Unfortunately, they have no intentions of dealing with me in the open...”

Without anything linking Chen Xuan to the Shi clan, neither the Chu clan or the academy could do a thing even if Chen Xuan really did kill him.

“You just need to make it past this period,” Jiang Luofu continued. “Shi Kun has already left Brightmoon City and returned to the capital. He’s already too far away to do anything even if he wanted to.”

“He’s really left?” Zu An had also picked up a few rumors, but assumed that it was just some bluff.

“Indeed, and he left in quite the hurry too.” Jiang Luofu rubbed her temples. She clearly didn’t understand this matter, either. “Do you have any idea why he would leave?”

“No idea.” Zu An pretended to look puzzled, but in his mind, he guessed that it probably had to do with the sudden disappearance of Shi Lezhi.

“Let’s talk about another important matter. Do you still remember what you promised me before entering the dungeon?” Jiang Luofu asked.

Zu An was a little confused. “Are you talking about the takeover of Plum Blossom Sect’s property?” he hazarded.

“Correct.” Jiang Luofu smiled in satisfaction. “Mei Chaofeng is already dead, and Plum Blossom Sect has gone up into smoke overnight. Countless people are eyeing their properties and other assets. Like I said before, the academy can’t really step in, but everyone knows that you have a promissory note from the Plum Blossom Sect. It’s perfectly justifiable for you to get involved.

“You don’t need to worry about the specifics. I’ll send some people to help you out when the time comes.”

Zu An said, “So I’m only doing this in name, like some sort of representative. The real takeover of all the assets will be taken care of by your people?”

“You can think of it that way.” Jiang Luofu leaned back into her couch after saying this, twirling a brush between her fingers in a relaxed manner.

Zu An didn’t voice any objections. He’d already made a deal with the academy—in exchange for the promissory note for seven-and-a-half million taels that he had no way of redeeming, the academy would grant him the position of a teacher. Jiang Luofu had even helped him get rid of Mei Chaofeng personally.

This was also largely the reason why he was able to casually converse with Jiang Luofu like this.

Otherwise, this greatly-respected principal would have buried his irritating and troublemaking self six feet under a long time ago.

He turned matters over in his mind. Even though he was adequately satisfied with how things had turned out, there was still something worth bringing up. “Honestly, I don’t even know if I’ll be alive in a week. How can I possibly focus on taking over the Plum Blossom Sect’s property?”

“This Chen Xuan situation is indeed tricky. I don’t care much about his strength, but he really is a slippery character. However, his intent to kill you has given us a good opportunity to capture him.” Jiang Luofu stood up, gazing out at the view of Brightmoon City outside her window. “Let me mull over it a little more. I’ll contact you when I think of something.”

...

Jiang Luofu’s final words continued to echo in Zu An’s head as walked out of the principal’s office. Why did it sound like he was going to be bait?

Either way, there wasn’t anything he could do about it. He was merely a pawn in the schemes of others.

Zu An returned to the classroom in a gloomy mood. Unsurprisingly, there weren’t many people who dared to look down on him anymore. Even the teachers had begun treating him much better after the events of the dungeon, especially after he’d demonstrated his prowess by almost cleaving Shi Kun in half with his blade.

The class he returned to was a lecture on the theory of war.

He actually wanted to learn more about this topic, but he didn’t know anything about this continent’s history. He’d never heard of any of these battles or the ancient countries mentioned, so all of this was gibberish to him.

He gave up helplessly, and instead began to tally up the Rage points he’d accumulated.

This was always the happiest moment for him. He was like a squirrel who stored acorns day in and day out, and was now finally able to enjoy the fruit of his labor.

When he saw the total amount of Rage points, he almost jumped in fright. Ten, hundred, thousand, ten thousand, hundred thousand...

He thought that there was something wrong with his eyes at first. After checking several times, he realized he’d already hoarded up 321,765 Rage points!

The two biggest batches of Rage points had come from the Immortal Abode the night before, as well as when he’d used his massive member to assert his dominance in the dungeon.

A thought suddenly came to his mind. If I’d made a trip around Brightmoon City butt-naked that day, would the system have exploded from the crazy amount of Rage points?

He quickly dispelled this thought. The sacrifice he would have to make was too much.

Forget it. This bro still wants to maintain some dignity. My life really would be over if my reputation were completely trashed as well.

What he was most worried about were those at the very top of society. No matter their cultivation level, he knew for certain that all men cared deeply about this sort of thing.

If I end up provoking some freak, he might just cut it off out of jealousy...

A chill ran between his legs, and they immediately drew together.

Forget it, I’ll just stick to the old plan. I’ll farm the shit out of those simps with a few hot chicks. That’s way safer.

Having decided on his main source of Rage points going forward, Zu An began drawing the lottery.

321,765 Rage points meant that he had 3,217 chances.

The more Rage points I get, the more times I’d have to draw. Won’t my wrist break at this rate?

Zu An grew momentarily worried about his future, but he still pressed the ‘Enter’ key to start drawing.

He’d used to come up with all types of shenanigans, praying to his grandfather and grandmother, doing all types of dumb rituals just to see ‘Thanks for playing!’ show up on the screen. As such, he already became numb to it.

He had more than three thousand chances now anyway, so he didn’t bother with any preparations.

The light marker flickered continuously. Instead of landing on the ‘Space’ key, it came to rest on top of the ‘8’ key.

Zu An’s eyes went completely round. He checked his loot excitedly.

A small bottle appeared in front of him, containing some sparkling green liquid. Below it was a description:

Poison Bottle, thrown projectile. Targets caught in the area of effect will become numb and powerless. Ignores the defenses of those at the fifth rank and below.

Only now did he remember that he’d drawn this item before. He’d been much weaker back then. It was how he had defeated the Blackwind Stockade members who attacked Yu Yanluo that time.

The item’s defense-ignoring properties had been extremely important for his past self.

However, he didn’t need such items anymore against the opponents that he would be facing.

This Poison Bottle would be little help against other fifth or sixth rank experts, since it was practically useless against those above the fifth rank.

As for those of even higher cultivation ranks, he might as well just bend over and let them have at him. Unless they were female, of course.

No, I don’t even have the Heiress’ Ball of Delights anymore. I can’t do anything even against cultivator beauties. I’ll only have my looks to depend on at that point.

He put away the useless Poison Bottle and resumed his drawing.

After a series of ‘Thanks for playing!’ notifications, he finally managed to draw a Ki Fruit.

He had three thousand pulls anyway. Zu An pressed the enter key numbly while reminiscing about the button fairy from his previous world.

Suddenly, his eyes lit up. He noticed that the light marker had come to rest on the ‘K’ key.

Congratulations on obtaining the skill ‘Fragrant Barf’!

Skill information: When you use this skill, anything that comes out of your mouth will sound like the utmost provocation and mockery. Enemy targets who hear your words will become enraged. Enraged enemies will have all their attributes buffed by 10%, and they will do everything they can to kill you. All Rage points produced by this skill will not be collected.

Friendly warning: Use this skill cautiously. Once used, the effect will never expire. There can only be two results—Either the user kills the enraged target, or the enraged target kills the user.

Zu An was immediately stupefied when he saw this final warning. action

What kind of stupid-ass skill is this? It buffs the enemy instead?!

This Keyboard can go to hell before I use this skill!

This skill might be useful for someone else, but this was a talent he had been naturally born with! He could infuriate everyone with just a few words, and even earn some Rage points along the way—why would he give his enemies a buff, let alone start a fight to the death?

What meaning did this skill have for him?

No wonder there’s no limit to the usage of this skill. The good stuff like the Heiress’ Ball of Delights and Knock-You-Up Eyes are full of restrictions.

Only a good-for-nothing ability like Whatcha Lookin’ At has no limitations.

This Fragrant Barf skill is probably no better.