Guild Wars-Novel

"What the hell is this thing?!" Roared one random player who wore leather armor.

Another sword-wielding player chimed in. "Why won't it just die?!"

"Now that is just rude. First of all, I was passing by minding my own business when I was assaulted by your group. Secondly, you have been referring to me rather improperly." Replied an intelligent, gruff voice that seemed quite cultured.

Hearing this, the faces of the 10 or so remaining players cramped greatly. After all, before them stood an entity that was 8"3 in height, with an ogre-ish visage. He had a Frankensteinian build made up of different colors and parts from other monsters sewn onto his body.

Some parts were enhanced with metal and machinery, such as his two eyes which had metallic plating around them, though his blue pupils remained organic. Surprisingly, whoever had created him had managed to select the perfect parts to prevent him from looking like an abomination straight out of a horror movie. Instead, he appeared like some secret project the government would have to fight off an alien/monster invasion in a sci-fi movie, giving him the air and aura of a top-tier boss monster.

However, that being insisted that he was not a monster, but rather a person. This was the first time these players had encountered a monster, denying its nature in favor of trying to pass off as an NPC.

They shared confused looks, wondering what to do. The fellow was exceedingly strong with his barrage of low-level spells that seemed to have no end to them.

They inspected the fellow and saw his HP bar.

?Name: Eciuj Gub – Major Rank King

Level: 120

HP: 23,899,720/24,000,000?

They grimaced when they saw how little damage they had done to him, while he had already cleared out 20 of them.

Also, what was up with that name?! How does one even pronounce something like that?

What confused them, even more, was his Rank designation. Major Rank King? Major Rank meant he was a monster, but adding King at the end meant that he was also an NPC.

Normally, these kinds of designations were for summoned monsters attached to a player, like the Black Dragon among others. The Dark Knight was also an example of this, but he was half monster, half player.

"Well? Can I continue my journey now? You're blocking my path forward." Gub remarked calmly, no anger in his voice.

The players really didn't know what to do. Some were still convinced that the fellow was bound to drop loot upon death like any good monster, no matter how eloquent the fellow might be.

Not to mention after taking so many losses, they simply couldn't bear to just walk away. Gub analyzed their thoughts through their body language and sighed audibly.

He manifested a flame at the tip of his finger and motioned to the player in the lead. "If you're unconvinced, we can continue this. It's merely a slight obstacle on the path to my goal."

Seeing this, the players entered fighting positions and got ready to resume the fight. With a roar, one of them bravely charged forward in order to engage Gub head-on, while the ogre-like fellow increased the power of his flame slowly until it shaped itself like a ball, ready to fire it out.

At this time, both sides suddenly paused as they heard two voices coming from the shrubbery.

"Wanna hear a story about the truth of the world and the reality of romance?" A boisterous and extremely self-confident voice asked.

"No." A cold and attractive voice replied without missing a beat, seemingly afraid to be even one second late.

"Today is opposite day, so I shall tell you a story anyway. Here it goes; Once upon a time, there was a blonde-haired idiot who thought himself mighty enough to tame the source of all the world's evil in a tiny body…" The boisterous voice started narrating grandly.

"We have arrived." The cold voice pointed out.

"Tch, damn lucky." The initial voice sulked.

To the shock of the players, and the casual surprise of Gub, two young men entered the clearing from the shrubs. One of them was a handsome fellow with light green hair that was cut short, ending just at the nape of his neck. He wore a light red archer hat with a white feather sticking out of it, like something Robin Hood would be caught wearing.

The other had the typical protagonist-like handsomeness, with curly blond hair and bright blue eyes. His serious expression added a levity to his demeanor that made him fatally attractive to young women.

Rambunctious Buttlover stood side by side with Kiran, one wearing a slight smirk while the other wore a perpetual grimace. The two handsome young men made the players feel their breath catch.

Not just for that, but because after the previous tournament which just came to an end, there was no one who wouldn't known who these two were.

RamButt idly looked around and honed in on Gub, observing the fellow casually before nodding. "The target was here as stated."

Kiran gave the players by the side a look. "It seems like he was being engaged by these blokes before we came."

RamButt sneered. "You cannot blame the ignorant for their actions."

Kiran gave the fellow a sideways glance. "We also have no clue what he is or what he's doing here except our orders."

RamButt wisely ignored Kiran's harsh truth and gazed at the surrounding players imperiously. "You are currently interfering with Umbra business. Either break one limb and kowtow 100 times in apology, or pay a fine of 30 gold for your transgressions."

Upon hearing this, the frozen players showed expressions of horror. "Why should we do so? Your guild came late and claim to have business here, so what? What's the worst you can do, kill us once?"

The other players nodded in agreement, banding together to resist the powerful aura of RamButt and Kiran. Gub simply moved to stand by the side, watching the events unfold with mild interest.

RamButt nodded. "You're right, I cannot enforce any of these punishments except slaughter you once and go. I don't have time to chase after bottom feeders like you, since I have goddess-like booty to paint and play with as we speak."

Despite being disparaged, the players felt their hearts lift. "So why even say all of that in the first place?"

RamButt shrugged. "Just checking if you're a bunch of idiots."

The players showed indignant expressions, while Gub chuckled lightly, gazing at a lovely bluebird that had landed on his shoulder with gentle eyes.

"Hehe, you don't like it? Well, let me tell you an interesting story…" RamButt said with a malicious expression.

Hearing this, the face of Kiran changed greatly as he hurriedly manifested two sets of Epic Rank earplugs and placed one in his ear as well as one for Gub, who received them with curiosity.

As for the players, they also panicked when they remembered who they were dealing with, but it was too late for them.

"Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt."

"The cum accelerates. It's been three minutes. You can't stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain, but it builds up too fast."

"You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum.

"The cum accelerates again. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum."

"The cum accelerates even further. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you back as if you were on a bukkake-themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses.

"The cum somehow find a way to still accelerate. It's been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering.

"... yet the only thing that happens is that your cum accelerates once more. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen."

"Your body picks up speed as it slides backward along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird's eye view, you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops.

"Guess what, the cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them.

... only for the cum to accelerate. You are now at an altitude of 1,000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain.

"New order of business? For the cum to go even faster!"

"It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth."

"You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory, not that it would have mattered.

"After all, your cum accelerates once again. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the 'Cummet.' You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking."

By the time RamButt was done, Gub and Kiran had expressions of trauma. They had watched the players who were forced to listen to RamButt words scream and claw at their faces and ears, trying to make it stop.

Some had bashed their heads against nearby trees, but were too strong to die in one hit, so they could only continue to mutilate themselves in order to escape the verbal torment, while others directly destroyed their eyes with their fingers, blood pouring out as well as some brain matter.

Others were on the floor, laughing as they had frothed at the mouth while having terrifying seizures, their eyes wide open and bleeding at the corners.

In this situation, it really would have been better if they had just broken one limb each and kowtowed.

RamButt coughed, and fashioned a flask of milk to drink. He then rinsed his mouth with it, and the previously white milk had become black as tar when he spat it out.

He washed his mouth out a few more times before nodding with pleasure at the fate of his victims. Who asked them to go against him?

He then turned to Gub and Kiran, who were gazing at him with dismay and shock. The leader of the Five Generals was thankful he had been lucky enough to never meet this fellow in the tournaments, while Gub analyzed that it would be best to adhere to the commands of these two for now unless he wanted to suffer great pain.

Gub was taken away by the two, who were smiling strangely. For his own safety, he couldn't help but ask: "Where are you taking me?"

It was RamButt who answered, as Kiran was not inclined to speak. "We're taking you to our guild. Our Guildmaster predicted your coming and left orders to intercept you. Apparently, you are of some importance."

Gub was surprised by this. He had awoken and left his confines to explore the world just a few hours ago, yet someone had predicted his coming? How?

Of course, Eciuj Gub would never be able to know what he had done in the previous timeline. After awakening, he would traverse the world of Boundless, acquiring knowledge and seeking to fulfill his goal, which was to remove the shackles his creator had placed on him.

Eventually, around the time the average playerbase had reached Rank 5, he would succeed. As wicked as the AI was, it had immediately smelled opportunity and had set up a series of misunderstandings that had put Gub on the opposite side of the playerbase, creating the Aberration Event.

A full-powered Gub had decimated players endlessly to the point that the five Divine Guilds had been forced to band together, just so they could put an end to him. After clearing him, it was easy enough to dig up his past and find the evil actions of the AI as well as Gub's pitiful past.

In this life, Draco and Eva planned to capture him and prevent the AI's evil machinations from coming to be! If they could get the loyalty of this fellow and unseal him themselves, the kind of firepower they would be adding to the Umbra was immeasurable.

However, whether it was this timeline or the previous one, no one knew who Eciuj Gub's Creator was.

........

The first signs of consciousness were always forgotten by the onslaught of memories that came later. There was just a vague recollection of being unaware one moment, and then suddenly… everything came into focus.

This was true for most sapient beings, but not so for this entity. The moment of sapience would always be his strongest memory, something he would never forget.

For unlike other species that were simply powered by instinct until sapience occurred, he had been granted sapience directly from nothingness. Previously, he had not been alive, then one moment, he was.

As he gasped for air and looked around, he tried to understand what it was that he was now seeing, hearing, tasting, and smelling. Possessing all five senses came as much of a shock for something that had not existed previously.

Eventually, the buzzing of its mind calmed down enough for it to hear the words of someone speaking, as its mind adapted to the overflow of senses and taught itself to pick which one to focus on.

"Hahaha, finally! Finally, I, Biggus Greggus, have succeeded!" A crazed voice spat with glee.

The blurry eyes of the entity managed to focus on what should be the mature form of his creator, but he could barely see anything with all the darkness around.

By the time his creator finished celebrating, he finally remembered about his creation. He rushed over and inspected the entity with awe and reverence.

"My creation… you are truly as handsome as your creator, haha! Unfortunately, due to my inexperience with the process, you are missing a lot of things. Do not worry, as long as I live, I shall dedicate my time to improving you! Together, we will rule this mundane world and all its affiliates!"

The entity could only lay there in confusion from his creator's words, not able to hear anymore as the fellow had descended into his mad scientist laughter again.

Soon, the entity was released from its bindings, just as a little human ran into the room.

"Daddy! Eugh, this place stinks!" A little girl cried out in dismay.

Biggus Greggus, the scientist, laughed and lifted the small one up. "It's the smell of hard work and success! Your Daddy's about to become a great man, my love!"

The little one wrung her nose and looked her father up and down. "You're already a great man, Daddy! However, great men shouldn't work in places that smell like poop…"

The entity's creator clutched his chest in agony from the biting words, but recovered quickly. He brought the little one over to the entity that stood there, unsure of what to do now that he had been released.

"This is him, my dear, our newest family member! What do you think?" Biggus Greggus asked with a grin.

The little one looked the entity up and down without fear or disgust in her eyes, likely because she had seen worse creations from her father's previous attempts already. As such, a complete one like this that wasn't entirely grotesque could even be described as handsome using these types of standards.

"Ohh! This one looks pretty cool and strong!" She said as her eyes sparkled.

"Right? Haha, I've really outdone myself this time. Quickly shower me with praise!" Biggus Greggus stated with excitement, ready to bathe in the adulation of his baby girl.

However, the little tot simply glanced at him askance. "Dad, have you even bathed recently?"

"W-Well, in order to succeed, I had to spend days-" The fellow began to explain, but the little girl wouldn't hear it.

"Ewww, stinky! Stinky, poopy Daddy!" She chastised as she pinched her nose cruelly.

Biggus Greggus could only clutch his chest in pain once more, feeling as if an arrow had struck him in the back. He almost coughed out blood, but managed to hold it back in.

Seeing that she had taught him a lesson, the little one decided to relent and gazed at the entity, which stood there silently. "So, what's his name?"

Startled, Biggus Greggus smiled. "I planned to have my cute little executive secretary do the naming!"

Hearing her nickname, the little girl was excited. "Alright! In accordance with my position, I'll call this fella Juice Bug!"

Biggus Greggus was left speechless, scratching his head. "Juice Bug? What about him looks like juice or a bug?"

The little girl paused, subtly agreeing with her father. "Okay. His name shall be juice bug in reverse, since he is the farthest thing from one! Err.. E-c-i-u-j G-u-b.... Yeah, let's call him Eciuj Gub!"