Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

Chapter 152 – Florida Man Destroyed 18 Medieval Ships While Trying to Find a Parking Spot for His School Bus in Shipyard

The battle bus of Leo was mysterious. It relied on the jet engine, but it defied the laws of physics. Without wings and the correct aerodynamics, it continued flying forward at 500mph.

Although the speed wasn't that high, it still required a runway to land as it didn't come with a vertical landing capability. Because of the issue, Leo smacked his lips.

"Hah. Boy, oh, boy. This is gonna be a mess. Ahem!"

Leo coughed and pressed on the intercom button, warning his passengers.

"Ahem! Ahem! Due to the unforeseen circumstances, we will be crash-landing. We might hit something along with way, so get your asses on the seat and buckle the seatbelts."

Not caring if everybody would understand his words, Leo stopped talking. His eyes swept around, searching for a suitable place to land.

The city roads were impossible as they were too narrow and short. The farmlands were viable choices. However, as it was in the planting season, the rice farms were full of water, and many farmers were in the fields. Leo might accidentally harm the commoners had he landed there.

Not wanting to trouble the innocent people, Leo looked for another place, where the commoners wouldn't be affected.

Leo glanced at the battleship parking lot for a moment before he looked away. At a glance, that place was full of other vessels and medieval frigates. By common sense, it was impossible to land there as the bus would crash into them.

"Hmm?"

…Crash into them?

The intrusive thought made Leo widen his eyes.

.

.

The ship parking area of Cauliflower City was mainly reserved for the Jianghu Alliance's members. Many big and small clans commonly stationed their flying ships there whenever they visited the palace or the city. However, things were different when the seasonal gathering of the imperial court's tournament was around the corner.

Two big clans, namely the Ouyang and the Situ Clan, reserved the whole parking area for their clan members. Big and small ships of these rich families occupied 80% of the parking space while their clan members drove off others from using them.

Because of the two rich and shameless clans, the other sects and families had no choice but to use smaller ships, which were easier to park. As a result, they looked insignificant when they were compared to the two big clans.

This was a common scheme of both clans to suppress the others. They made it so that the other clans and sects looked inferior to them. As the Situ Clan and the Ouyang Clan's reputation rose, more ignorant rogue cultivators and commoners were more inclined to join them, raising their clans' military power.

The imperial court and other organizations long realized the petty scheme. Thus, they usually came here with mounts and large flying swords, which were easier to maintain and retrieve. With flashy monster beasts as mounts and expensive flying swords, they didn't look as poor as before.

In summary, the Situ and the Ouyang Clan members were the only ones in the parking space area.

Four frigates and five ferry vessels of the Ouyang Clan claimed the west parking lot. A fortress battleship, three frigates, and six galleys sat at the east while the Situ Clan's mercenary companies protected their master's ships. There was no middle gap as both clans squeezed their spaces to the point that their ships almost touched each other.

On the deck of a frigate of the Ouyang Clan, Ouyang Ke stood there, admiring the fleet of his clan. Although the fleet was for show, he was elated to be represented as their fleet captain. However, he didn't get to enjoy it for long as he noticed the presence of his rival. His expression quickly turned dark.

Behind Ouyang Ke was the fortress battleship of the Ouyang Clan. On the deck, there was a watchtower. And on top of the watchtower was an elderly man in blue robes. His clothes were so neat that it looked like it had been freshly ironed.

The person was Situ Bai, who was an elder of the Cauldron Gnosis Sect, which was also a part of the Pill Union. As fellow alchemists, Situ Bai and Ouyang Ke had been competing for centuries. Even though their rivalry was without bloodshed, they still hated each other with a passion.

"You, know, Ouyang Ke. The World Tree Sect's disciples lost to my juniors in the last Pill Concoction Competition. I wonder if they have enough time to practice any martial arts. I hope your disciples didn't hole up indoors all day and stop cultivating because they lost to MY JUNIORS!"

Getting mocked by Situ Bai, Ouyang Ke's face reddened. He turned around and pointed his finger at his rival.

"You won because the union was the host of the event, Situ Bai! The Tang Clan will host this year's competition! I doubt you can cheat your way to victory again!"

"Hah! Regardless of the places, your people have no chance anyway. Your disciples can't even make any high-graded dantian pill on time! Look, if your disciples can't complete good pills in two weeks, that's no good at all! We, pill-makers, have to strive for quality and speed. If you can't satisfy our customers, why are you even an alchemist?"

"Ha! Speak to yourself, shameless bastard! For your information, my disciples DID make 20 high-graded dantian pills and TWO superior-grade pills on the 20th day while yours wasted five batches of ingredients to cut the time shorter to make THREE high-graded pills! Talk about quality, you still have a lot to learn!"

Situ Bai's expression changed. Ouyang Ke's eyes also reddened. As both old men refused to yield, they continued bantering and jeering each other.

None of them saw an approaching bus.

From the south, a certain black bus descended at the edge of the parking lot. As it slowly descended, its speed accelerated instead of decelerated.

A loud commotion occurred as many cultivators and mercenaries nearby saw the flying bus coming at them. They launched their Qi attacks and swung their weapons toward the bus. However, they failed to stop the vehicle.

"STOOOOOOP!!"

The cultivators in the area screamed in desperation, but the bus never slowed down. The bottom of the steel vehicle crashed in between small and medium-sized vessels of both clans.

The front bumper of the bus then hit the bows of the ships on the way. As most ships were made from wood, pieces and shards scattered everywhere.

Because of the loud impact, Situ Bai and Ouyang Ke stopped bickering. They looked toward the south and found a crazy vehicle coming toward their ships. As it traveled through the center, it hit every ship on both sides.

"DAMMIT! WHO THE HELL SEEKS DEATH?!" Ouyang Ke bellowed.

"IMPUDENCE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHO YOU OFFENDED?!" Situ Bai also yelled.

Both super elders jumped in unison and summoned their dao avatars. Two spiritual giants with their faces appeared behind them. Then, they punched downward, aiming to destroy the bus.

CLANK

CLANK

Situ Bai's avatar hit the bus with its left fist while Ouyang Ke's spirit used its right fist. Their unison attack hit both sides of the bus.

However, it didn't cause any damage! Instead, the avatar's expressions changed as their fists shattered and disappeared into smoke.

The injuries of the avatars instantly transferred to the masters. Both men flinched as their fists were broken.

BOOM

The bus didn't seem to slow down. Instead, something emerged from the vehicle's ceiling.

.

.

Leo cackled like a maniac as he drove the bus right into the middle of the parking lot. Although he was kind enough to aim at the gap between the ships, his bus crushed everything in its path.

Moreover, Leo learned a lot of weird knowledge when he was on Earth.

"When landing, I must accelerate in preparation to take off if things go south! Therefore, I must step on the gas while landing!"

It was from a navy jet pilot's guidebook that Leo randomly picked up to read. Unfortunately, this logic was only applicable to custom aircraft, which were designed to land on aircraft carriers - Modern aircraft carriers used wires to assist their planes to land, so planes could be instantly stopped. By following this principle, whenever a pilot missed the right wire, he could abort the landing and redo everything again.

But in this situation, Leo didn't understand the concept. He simply YOLOed it.

"YEEHAW!"

BOOM

BOOM

Leo enjoyed watching wooden ships explode. He laughed and stomped the gas pedal harder.

CLANK

CLANK

Suddenly, something loud came from the side of the bus. Leo also received a feedback force from the hand console – It lightly zapped him.

Realizing that the bus might have taken some damage, Leo deeply sighed.

"Oh, well. Let's do it this way. The runway should be clear if there is nothing on the runway, right? What if I just blast these useless firewood to smithereens then I'll turn back the bus to land it later?"

Leo reopened the safety covers of the missile switches. After unlocking the safety switches, Leo moved his left thumb to a red button on the flightstick while his right hand remained on the hand console. He selected the primary weapon with his mind.

BE-BE-BE-BEEEEEEP

The short and long beep sound indicated that the bus had locked on a target or more. The right windshield of the bus turned dark for a moment before it showed the bird-eye-view of the bus, displaying the locked-on targets.

While the alarm went on, two rocket launchers emerged from the top of the bus – one at the front while another one at the back. Both looked like something from a multiple-missile-launcher-system vehicle. However, each rocket launcher came with nine loaded rockets.

Leo paid no attention to the targets as the ships belonged to cultivators. Since they were naturally rich, Leo believed they wouldn't mind if one or two of their toys were gone.

Leo pressed the red button.

WHOOSH

WHOOSH

WHOOSH

Two rockets were fired from each launcher. Then, they launched consecutive rockets until they ran out of ammo.

18 rockets flew in the sky. Then, they curved down and headed toward their targets.

One of them was Ouyang Ke's frigate. Another one was Situ Bai's fortress battleship.

BOOM

BOOM

As soon as the rockets hit, they erupted in mushroom flame.

More rockets rained toward the other ships. Even the half-destroyed ships that Leo's bus had run over were not an exception.

18 rockets set the 18 ships of both clans in flame. The battle bus drove through the flame until it reached the end of the parking lot before it took off.

Leo pulled the flightstick while he couldn't stop smiling. He didn't know why, but he felt like he had done something good for the community.

.

.

The sudden ambush from the bus killed hundreds of clan members on both sides. Weak mercenaries failed to leave the explosion radius and got devoured by the mushroom flames.

Situ Bai and Ouyang Ke flew through the flame and carried two of their disciples out of the mess. Their juniors coughed black smoke. Unfortunately, they suffered from second-degree burns.

Both alchemist elders fed their disciples healing pills. Then, they carried the survivors to the city while they glared at the flying bus, which was flying further north.

"DAMMIT! WHO WAS IT!?"

"I'LL REMEMBER THIS! JUST YOU WAIT!"

Situ Bai and Ouyang Ke silently formed a ceasefire treaty as a common enemy emerged. They vowed to kill the person behind this ambush and destroy the mysterious vehicle.