FFF-Class Trashero

[28th Round] Ssosia and Hippolia

I began to emit the divine radiance that symbolized the Cardinal profession, causing the paladins’ eyes to widen in surprise.

“Cardinal?”

“Ah…”

They immediately cleared the way and knelt before me.

I wasn’t on the list of cardinals they knew, but the kind of “ID” I showed was sufficient enough for them to let me through.

The G-Class Righteous Hero proudly entered the temple with a flush toilet only a select few could use!

▷ Problem: After going inside, please refrain from divulging any details. These amoeba-like students will believe everything you say.

‘Oh! I’ll be careful in the future!’

Talking with me right now was Morality Teacher. That was enough for my heart to gradually heal.

Now I could call this a real adventure!

⤷ Luke: Oh! This is my first time seeing the interior of Mollan’s Teachings Headquarters.

⤷ Isis: It looks like an old-fashioned restroom.

⤷ Piko: Mollan’s Teachings Headquarters is a shared comfort room with booths divided by rank, not gender. It is equipped with flush toilets and bidets. You can also try a slime toilet in it for nostalgia.

⤷ Sieg: Wow! A real believer has appeared! A true follower of Mollan’s Teachings!

⤷ Amon: Hey Sieg, did you just wake up? That guy’s been known as a mollan fanatic since the early days of the community.

At the time, it was difficult to install a sewerage system and a septic tank, but I had the power of capitalism to help me.

To win the hearts of the Northern Continent’s demanding royal family and nobility, I insisted on providing the highest quality.

A glance at the installed bidet, handcrafted by an angel blacksmith with a sturdy spine, was enough to determine the level of its quality.

This was the heart of Mollan’s Teachings.

“Judging by the expression on your face, is this your first time here?” Disco asked, following me in.

“Of course. We’re in a sanctuary that only cardinals and other high-ranking members of the Mollan Church can enter.”

“Indeed…”

It was quiet here. After all, mollanists couldn’t just sit still and enjoy the perks of their position since their rank depended on their achievements.

The system was the one that gave religious professions, and one’s promotion and demotion depended on their performance.

Not even religious leaders could declare, “From now on, I am appointing you cardinal!”

I wasn’t any different. I earned achievements and fame step by step.

No one could escape this relative assessment except those chosen from birth to be Saintesses.

Only a Saintess could guard this toilet without engaging in missionary work.

Sitting on the toilet without a partition, she opened her eyes and spoke to me.

“Welcome to the Holy Land, new cardinal.”

“Seriously?”

“What’s wrong?”

Toilet No. 1’s guardian wasn’t the Saintess from the Northern Continent who carefully cleaned toilets on the sidelines like a maid.

She was a completely different female, but she had a familiar face and spine.

“Hippolia…”

▷ Race: First Angel

▷ Level: 9999+

▷ Job: Goddess (Religious Influence → Creation ↑)

▷ Skills: Faith GGG, Divinity GGG, Charm G, Breastfeeding ZZ, Child Care Z…

▷ Status: Calm

However, she had the “First Angel” race, like Parmael. This wasn’t just a deception of the system.

While I was imprisoned in the Demon Realm for 19 years, my cowardly wife seemed to have done something I wasn’t aware of.

I wanted to ask her about this while grasping her pelvis properly, but she wasn’t around right now.

If so…

‘Morality Teacher! Morality Teacher!’

▷ Disclosure: When Councilor Kang Han Soo was kidnapped, Director Ssosiel’s mental and emotional state shattered. She realized she couldn’t cope alone and decided to resurrect Hippolia.

The method she used was simple.

During the previous festival, she challenged Parmael, whom the alumni exiled. She then crushed her personality and self-esteem.

Hippolia, having escaped her fate as a “puppet,” coexisted with Ssosia, defeated Parmael in a battle of souls, and took the initiative.

Consequently, now that she had become the First Angel, she worked as the Deputy Director and Goddess of Mollan’s Teachings.

▷ Explanation: Hippolia, like Kang Han Soo’s Demon Lord counterpart, only acted when she needed to fulfill her role as the Goddess of Mollan’s Teachings. Usually, her copy remains on standby while she works in the office or takes care of Sidael.

Now that I thought about it, while I was relieving stress accumulated over 19 years with the help of my cowardly wife, my little son wasn’t with her.

She knew if he had been in her arms, I wouldn’t have grabbed her pelvis when we first met after a long time…

She planned it from the very beginning!

She left our scion to Hippolia and came to meet me alone.

“I have a question. Did you come here today as a cardinal or as the Hero?”

I missed her voice.

I remembered the first time I met her at the festival.

When I pretended to be a Saint, she asked for help.

She wanted me to guide the demons’ followers who used to be Heroes back to the right path.

“… If you have a task for me, it doesn’t matter.”

“In that case, I have a request. We need to convert the demons’ followers locked in the dungeon. We will reward you according to the number of cultists you convert.”

“This reminds me of the past.”

“I failed, and now I can only trust you, Righteous Saint.”

“Of course.”

“Then, before you begin, let me grant you a position worthy of the recognition of all the continents’ rulers.

Cardinal → Religious Leader (Sermon → Brainwashing ↑)

As I said, it wasn’t that she appointed me.

As she explained, this was the very moment when the last of the five continental rulers recognized me.

Divine Dragon Queen Erdanti of the Central Continent, Great Sage Shakespeare of the Western Continent, Giant King Phoenix of the Southern Continent, Queen of Wisdom Malfaricia of the Eastern Continent, and Goddess Hippolia of the Northern Continent.

And this task perfectly suited my new profession, which would allow me to rise even higher.

“Thanks.”

“You achieved this on your own. There’s no need to thank me.”

“…”

“…”

Although Hippolia and I met in an unexpected place at an unexpected time, there was still no need for an awkward conversation for us.

One glance was enough.

“Master, please follow me. I will lead you to the dungeon.”

“… Okay.”

Saintess C, distracted from cleaning the toilet, interrupted our reunion.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t punish her by grabbing her spine.

A lot of people were watching me right now.

⤷ Baal: Long live Goddess Hippolia!

⤷ Zeus: Maybe I should also believe in Mollan?

⤷ Odin: This is what a real Goddess looks like!

⤷ Luke: The Saintess at the Festival of Heroes is the Goddess of Mollan’s Teachings?

⤷ Sieg: Glory to Mollan!

The dungeon that Saintess C led me to exuded quite a foul stench. It was because the pagans and demon worshipers who “denied” Mollan’s Teachings were placed in solitary confinement cells that only had a hole in the floor as a toilet.

That was the traditional torture method I used 2,000 years ago.

Saintess C provided an explanation.

“This is punishment for those who do not know the value of a clean and convenient flush toilet.”

She was right.

This solitary confinement was more effective than torture that inflicted physical pain or sermons to which they turned a deaf ear to.

But that also meant that only the most stubborn ones remained here.

“How disgusting.”

“I deliberately do not do any cleaning here…”

“That’s not it. What I find disgusting is the way they look down on his mercy. They use their skills to control physiology, thus denying the importance of flush toilets by eliminating the need to use the toilet every day.

“Your insight amazes me, sir! You immediately deduced the situation! This is why we asked you for help.”

Until 2000 years ago, this method did not work among high-level people, which was a pain in the ass.

Of course, as the First Apostle, I still converted those ignorant heretics.

I would do the same again this time.

“Leave this to me, Saintess.”

“Your words alone are already encouraging. There are 200 criminals here. At a minimum, you need an E-rank Faith. There is no time limit. And every time you turn a criminal, you get 1 point. Then you can purchase something with these glasses.

– Something?

– Yes. Take a look at this table with awards so that there will be no misunderstandings in the future.

200 points: Kiss of the Goddess

150 points: Teacher’s garter belt

80 points: Ring of Luck

50 points: Baby Diapers

20 points: Saintess

3 points: Elixir of Rebirth

…

There was no point in diapers costing more than one of the only three Saints in the world of Fantasy, but it didn’t matter.

My goal was the 200 point reward.

Nothing else deserved my attention.

“Let’s begin.”

*****

A religious leader’s Brainwashing perk was special.

This was similar to the Brainwashing skill, but it was several times more effective against atheists and cultists.

Even so, it wasn’t absolute.

Increasing one’s success rate from 0.1% to 0.5% made no difference.

After all, it was only effective if they had the appropriate skills to complement it.

Hence, I preached, which was one of my expertise.

“Greetings. Your vertebrae… Oops!”

“Aaaaghh?!”

Splash!

Fresh vertebrae slipped out of my hand and fell into the fecal pit.

“Wh-what?!”

“My hand slipped, and your vertebrae fell into the cesspool. That is a vile abyss, so it’s certainly already infected. Unfortunately, that means simple regeneration won’t be enough to heal you.”

“Ahh…”

“I’m really sorry. This tragedy wouldn’t have happened if it were a flush toilet, even if my hand slipped. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Sob sob!”

“Don’t cry. The righteous religious leader of Mollan’s Teachings will lend you tongs. You can use them to pull your vertebrae out of the hole…”

“Mollan! Mollan! Mollan!”

“Hahaha! You have finally realized his mercy and love. It’s a bit late, but congratulations. Mollan.”

My sermon was simple.

Skills were a mistake.

Realizing that, they voluntarily became Mollan’s loyal followers while shedding tears of joy.

While I was working, Alex and Snow Woman flirted with each other as usual. Meanwhile, Green Cake and Kang Han Soo spent the entire day with Hippolia.

And Disco, as an inspector, watched the sermon.

“You call that a sermon?”

“No matter how you look at it, it is, isn’t it?”

One by one, the ignorant cultists who thought outdated toilets were good came to believe in Mollan, which earned me points.

10, 50, 100, 150, 200!

I quickly emptied the dungeon.

⤷ Amon: Since he’s using that method, maybe he shouldn’t have bothered getting the Religious Leader profession.

⤷ Zeus: Try it and let us know.

⤷ Baal: Hey people, apologize to Shiva. They disappeared altogether.

⤷ Allah: Shiva wasn’t that talkative in the first place anyway.

⤷ Odin: Shut up and pay better attention to the teacher’s job. It’s already changed.

Cardinal and Religious Leader were just stepping stones for me.

After my hand slipped 200 times, I achieved what no one else had achieved.

Religious leader → Saint (Faith → Miracles ↑)

A Saint was treated the same as the three Saintesses of Fantasy.

Although I couldn’t raise the dead like a Saintess, with this anomalous occupation, I could create miracles.

But that wasn’t what interested me at all.

“I need your lips, Goddess.”

“Of course. My lips are at your disposal.”

… What was this?

My heart was beating fast as I walked slowly towards Hippolia.

“Stop.”

“… Ah.”

I forgot.

There was another “me” here.

Kang Han Soo blocked my path.

I wanted to set him up with the Sword Princess, but it didn’t work out that way.

“Give up the Goddess’s lips. In return, I’ll do my best to help you graduate.”

His conditions weren’t that bad.

I showed him the Righteous Hero’s smile.

“How about we settle this in combat, senior? If I lose, I’ll give up the lips of the Goddess, and if I win, you will give me Holy Sword Nucleon.”

“Won’t you regret this?”

“I’ll show you a miracle.”

“… Okay.”

It was a bet neither of us could refuse.