Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

Chapter 90 - 89 - Infiltration(Part 6): Trek To The Empire Pt. 3

It was now the afternoon of the sixth day since we left Silvland behind, and we were just about a day away from reaching the outskirts of The Empire. Yesterday, we had left Griffin territory and entered Phoenix territory. They were a little tricky to deal with since you have to kill them twice, and they can set their feathers on fire before swooping down on you, but if you could evade them, one solid strike was enough to take them out.

After the third night, where we barely got any sleep thanks to a certain someone, the fourth day was an extremely frustrating one, the other two guys were gloomy and easily irritable due to the lack of sleep, and I was pretty annoyed too. Meanwhile, she claimed to have had the most relaxing nap of her life, and was in high spirits all day...yeah, that only made the whole ordeal even more annoying.

For the fourth night, we camped out in the open since we couldn't find any shelter, though the weather was nice and warm, so we didn't need to find any. Since we were out in the open, we had no choice but to keep watch in shifts, I volunteered first, and as soon as my shift ended, I suppressed my Healing Factor, pricked myself with a tranq needle, and passed the fuck out, into a deep sleep for the night.

Yesterday had been alright, Selesa was less annoying...or maybe I had gotten better at ignoring and tolerating her. Last night had been equally uneventful, she didn't try or say anything too pervy.

Come to think of it, the hardest part of this journey wasn't the monsters or the walking or the dreading anticipation of the mission...nope, the hardest part was dealing with her shenanigans and not losing my mind over it.

I let out an exasperated sigh as we continued walking, having just finished taking out a flock of Phoenixes.

"Hey, you've been firing off those heavy-ass sighs all day, you on your period or something?" She inquired, skipping up to me.

"...every time you open your mouth, I feel like I need to bash my skull against a rock to clear my head."

"Do you have to be so bad tempered all the time? You're such a soyboy beta-cuck!"

Hey, who's fault do you think it is that I'm in a bad mood, huh?

"I don't even know what that means," I replied with gritted teeth, my eyebrow twitching in annoyance.

...

A few hours later, we ran into a group of about ten Phoenixes. Finally! Monsters gave me a good opportunity to let off some steam.

Two of them screeched and swooped down at me, igniting their feathers on fire as they rapidly descended. I used Stream to extend the reach of my sword as much as I could, and as they got within a meter of me, I unfurled a swift horizontal slash, cutting both of them in half with one strike. They fell onto the ground and rolled away...before they turned into pure balls of fire, the severed halves rejoined, and then resurrected.

I rapidly slashed downwards vertically at the one closer to my right, before grabbing the one of the left by its head and frying it dead before it could ignite its feathers.

Three of them targeting Misen and Les in the back, the latter activating rapidly spinning water blades all around the two of them. He shredded the monsters into pieces as they neared him, and as their sliced up chunks fell around him and began to resurrect...they immediately got sliced up the moment they became whole again.

Selesa flew up, swung her arms across and used her knuckle-blades to fire off a barrage of wind blades to slash all five of the remaining Phoenixes into pieces. As they began to resurrect in mid-air, she flew towards the first one that came back, and drove her fist through its chest, her blades piercing into it and then swung her arm across to shred it into pieces, unleashing wind from it.

She then shot towards two that were near each other, and swung both her arms across as she flew past between them, slashing off one of their heads, and ripping across the other one's chest.

She then charged up wind in her left hand's blades and swung it across towards one of the remaining two, cutting it into pieces. She then zipped towards the last one, used a burst of Propulsion for a speed boost and swung her fists across each other in an X shape as she shot through it, slicing the monster into small chunks.

With all the monsters defeated, she descended back down to the ground, taking off her bladed gloves and putting them away.

"Hah, I've taken out more Phoenixes than the rest of you combined, suck on that!" She grinned triumphantly.

Since these monsters weren't that strong and swooped down a lot, I didn't really need to use Vampire Mode. And ever since we entered Phoenix territory, she had taken out more than half the monsters we'd encountered. Her skills were useful, it's just too bad that the person using them was such a pain.

"Yeah, yeah, good for you. Let's go," I replied with disinterest, carrying on forward after turning to Misen and adding, "Ragiu, keep your Lightning Sensory Field active at all times, and make sure it's not too strong, we can't afford to alert any enemies."

"Tch, don't state the obvious, I know what I'm doing."

Now that we were getting closer to The Empire, the sense of tension was rising. We could run into someone from The Empire at any given moment now. As a result of the increasing tension, some of us were a bit...easily irritable.

...

Later in the day, as the sun began to set, we came across a small lake under a waterfall.

"Aw, man, I would totally kill for a bath right now! Let's stop and use this waterfall guys, what do you say?" Selesa suggested eagerly.

"How is this one constantly in high spirits? It's pissing me off," Groaned Misen.

"Actually, that might not be a bad idea...we probably all smell pretty bad right now, it might be a good idea to clean ourselves up a bit before we get there, it we smell noticeably bad then we'll probably attract some unwanted attention," I reluctantly agreed with her.

"Hm, good point," Conceded Les, though he had a wary look as he glanced at his sister.

We let her go first, since it was her suggestion and all.

"Hehe, no peeking, boys!"

"Just go already," I sighed in exasperation.

"It wouldn't kill you to play along, you pus-filled dickhole pimple!"

...was that a real thing? Just the thought of it made me shudder in discomfort.

"Finally, a little peace and quiet," Misen sighed in relief, as she disappeared behind the waterfall.

"Hey, Les...you have my respect and sympathy for having to grow up with her," I remarked.

"Indeed, that could not have been easy," Nodded Misen in agreement.

"Almost everyone who meets her says something along those lines to me," He sighed, before adding, "It's not like she's a bad person or anything, and at the end of the day, she is my sister and has always been good to me, but...sometimes, she's a bit too much."

'Sometimes', huh? He sure was pulling his punches. Well, like he said, she was his sister, so despite all the trouble she causes, he probably had a soft spot for her.

"Anyway, hope she doesn't take too long, we shouldn't stay put for too long," I remarked, sitting down by a bush.

At the edge of the lake, I noticed some plants growing, with small white flowers...wait, were those water hemlock plants? Huh, I thought those only grew in more tropical areas...eh, don't overthink it, this world is pretty small, so there isn't as much eco-diversity in the environment. I should probably point them out though.

"Hey, just a heads up, guys...those plants growing on the bank of the lake are super poisonous. You'll suffer and die if you injest it, and even if you survive, you'll experience a ton of negative side effects."

"I wasn't exactly planning on eating flowers, but I appreciate the warning," Misen half-heartedly shrugged, not really paying attention as he stared up at the sky with a bored expression.

It was a bit windy, and Les was using a small water whip to slice any falling leaves that passed him, he looked pretty bored too.

Oh, in case you were wondering, the poison I use is made from a toxin called abrin, which is found in a plant called the rosary pea. Its not usually instantly lethal, but the final product that I use is abrin enhanced using magic, specifically the lethal aspect of it is drastically boosted using a spell.

Anyway, back to the current situation. We were waiting on Selesa to finish up.

Ten minutes passed...

Then twenty...

Before we knew it, forty-five minutes had passed, and Selesa was yet to emerge from the waterfall.

"You don't think she slipped and hit her head or something, do you? Seriously, what's taking her so long, we're wasting time!" I groaned, as I made a star shape out of lightning between my hands, connecting thin electric streaks together.

I was getting pretty bored too.

"I suppose that's not impossible, but given her pattern of behavior throughout this journey...it's very possible that that is exactly what she wants us to think, and go check on her as a result...that is probably exactly what she wants. I certainly wouldn't put it past her," Pointed out Misen.

True, that sounds like something that pervert would do without a shred of hesitation or second thoughts.

"Yeah, that's actually very likely...though she sure is taking her time. She's not a complete idiot, she must have figured that none of us are going to take the bait by now, so she should have given up already. I'm starting to think something actually might have happened," I sighed.

"I'm getting worried...maybe I should go check on her," Les muttered, his expression torn.

On the one hand, he was worried because she must have genuinely injured herself and was in trouble right now. But on the other hand, he was dreading the possibility that by going to check on her, he'd be walking right into her trap.

Before he could make his decision...

"Oh, she's coming back, looks like it was a false alarm," Misen nodded towards the waterfall, where she had emerged from and was walking towards us.

Was it just my imagination, or did she look kinda pissed?

"I don't believe it...I waited and waited and waited...but not one of you dickless beta-male simps even tried to peek! Wait, unless...no, don't tell me I was unlucky enough to get stuck with a harem of gay dudes!? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it sucks for me because- owww!"

I interrupted her by flicking a spark at her, it was a bit more effective than usual since she was still a bit damp from her bath.

"So, just to clarify, you deliberately wasted all that time over your perverted hijinks?" I remarked in an irritated voice with an annoyed smile, my eyebrow twitching.

"I'll go next. Mind making sure that she stays put?" Said Misen, standing up and heading for the waterfall.

"Oh, I'm way ahead of you," I replied, stepping towards Selesa after adding, "Don't take too long, my range with the Lightning Sensory Field is a lot narrower than yours."

"Yeah, yeah, give me ten minutes."

Now, then...

"Y-your eyes are kinda scary, Kuro...h-hey, now, maybe we should all calm d...hah, sike- gahh!" She began stammering in response before turning around and trying to run away, halting as I grabbed onto her dog tail and pulled her back.

"Now, then...Confusion, tranquilizer, or paralysis...you choose," I offered her generously as I held up a few needles with a sweet smile on my face.

"U-um, your blatant sadism is kinda hot, b-but let's lay off the n-needles, I promise to behave-!"

"Hm, gotta do something about that talkative mouth...paralysis it is!"

I poked the needle into her shoulder, rendering her immobile. I leaned her against a tree, and sat back down with a sigh.

"Wouldn't tranquilizer have been better to keep her quiet?" Inquired Les.

"Either one would have worked, but with paralysis she suffers through it...if she's got an itch on her nose or something, she can't scratch it. After all the idiotic stunts she's pulled, it's the least she deserves," I sighed, before adding, "And tranquilizer would have left her all drowsy afterwards, and she would probably be in that annoying sulky mood of hers for the rest of the day."

"You really are sadistic...but I agree, she deserves it. I can't believe I almost went and checked on her just now," Les let out a sigh of relief, having narrowly avoided falling into his sister's trap.

Just under an hour later, we had all finished cleaning ourselves up. I had repeatedly pricked Selesa with a paralysis needle every time the effects began to wear off. But I might have overdone it, she was still paralyzed.

Guess there's no choice...

I activated Soul-Eater Mode, and sunk my teeth into her neck, nullifying the effects of the paralysis toxin using my Healing Factor.

"Ahhh, I can finally move again! That was so cruel, you shit-eating-!...u-uh, never mind," She exclaimed, before trailing off as I glared at her and held up another needle.

"Let's keep moving, we wasted a good half hour or so because of a certain someone," I remarked with a sigh.

"Wait, hold on! Something's approaching us at a fair speed, it's just over four hundred meters ahead of us, from the direction of The Empire...a horse and cart, and two people on it. They don't seem to have felt my Sensory Field, but I'm shutting it off just in case," Misen suddenly exclaimed, as I quickly pulled out the two stealth barriers and activated them around us.

I quickly glanced around to make sure we hadn't left anything outside of the barrier, before taking a deep breath and calmly analyzing the situation. This was potentially a golden opportunity that had just fallen in our laps.

"Okay, there's just two of them, right? In that case, it looks like two of us can start with our disguises right away. We'll follow them after they go past us, and when they eventually stop, we'll ambush them, and the two of us that best match their builds will steal their appearances. If it looks like they're both too short or small, then we'll have to ignore them. If just one of them is a mismatch, then it's fine, I can afford to copy the appearance of someone smaller than me, my Healing Factor will take care of any side effects that might cause."

The others nodded, as we waited within the group invisibility and soundproof barriers.

A couple of minutes later, a cart drawn by two horses came into view, with two white robes riding it. I waited for them to go past us, but to my surprise, they stopped the cart and got down, walking towards us.

"H-hey, are you sure this barrier is working?" Misen asked skeptically.

"Yeah, they're not looking at us, and they look relatively relaxed, they'd be a lot more alert if they knew we were here," Assured Selesa, watching them closely.

Huh, guess she really was smart when it counts.

"For now, let's just observe. Both look like they're at suitable heights for any of us, I can't see their faces or builds, or determine their gender yet, with those robes and hood," I remarked as they walked past us.

"Hurry up, pawn! We must be back as soon as possible!" One of them yelled at the other.

That voice sounded like it was a woman...looks like a match for Selesa.

"Y-yes, ma'am," The other one replied, a man.

Suddenly, a couple of screeches sounded out above us, as two Phoenixes appeared.

The woman then pulled out a...gun? What? Was I seeing things? That was...a gun, right? It looked like a pistol with a long barrel, and seemed to be made of some type of black crystal material.

"Am I seeing things?" Selesa whispered to me in surprise.

"Nope, I'm seeing it too."

The woman pointed the gun up at the monsters and fired four shots. The bullets blasted through them and killed them, before they resurrected a few seconds later. She then fired two more shots, took out the empty magazine, pulled out a new one and reloaded, and fired another two shots, finishing off the Phoenixes.

"What is that weapon?" Misen remarked in curiosity and surprise.

Those bullets had way more power than the firearms of my old world had. What the hell is going on?

They then walked over to the edge of the bank, then man knelt down and began picking the water hemlock plants. Collecting poison, huh. Alright, now then...

"Time to act," I stated, flinging a handful of paralysis needles at them.

The needles pierces their backs, and they subsequently collapsed to the ground as the paralysis took effect. Time for two of us to take their places as imposters...

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