Cultivation Chat Group (Web Novel)

So, if you were to sit for too long while cultivating… you would unexpectedly grow hemorrhoids? It might not be too far-fetched. After all, sitting for too long was indeed one of the causes of hemorrhoids.

Song Shuhang was still a newbie cultivator, and he had cultivated for little more than a month. He had quickly opened the Heart and Eye Apertures through sheer luck.

Therefore, he knew almost nothing about the circumstances of low-level cultivators that were sitting cross-legged for years while cultivating.

He didn’t know about these ‘fire rock’ and ‘ice stone’ that cultivators were sitting on while cultivating. These stones the little monk had spoken of must be treasures that sects used to increase the efficiency of the meditation. Maybe it was something like the Ancient Tomb Sect’s 1 ‘cold jade bed’?

Song Shuhang felt that he had learned something new today.

But shouldn’t cultivators have ways to deal with hemorrhoids? Or were all low-level cultivators suffering from this plight?

Moreover...

Song Shuhang asked, "Guoguo, didn’t you use the body tempering liquid?"

He remembered that when he took the body tempering liquid the first time, all his small internal wounds automatically healed. And later, even if the effects were getting less and less potent, it was still helping him temper his body.

Shouldn’t the body tempering liquid easily cure something as insignificant as hemorrhoids?

It should work, right? Unless… this little monk took so much body tempering liquid that it’s no longer effective.

"I also thought of using body tempering liquid, but it was useless!" The small monk Guoguo heavily sighed. His little face was full sorrow and grief.

Then, he said in a low voice, "The first time I took the body tempering liquid, I hadn’t grown hemorrhoids yet. However, its effects were quite good, and all the small internal injuries were healed.

But then, when I cultivated for two years on the fire and ice stones, I grew hemorrhoids. When that happened, I immediately thought of using the body tempering liquid to get rid of them. But, for some unknown reasons, it didn’t have any effect."

Actually, it was useless that he had lowered his voice. Just how strong was Venerable White? If even Song Shuhang could hear him, Venerable White could surely hear him from more than a thousand meters away. Then, there was Doudou. He was a pekingese, and his hearing was quite good.

But, Song Shuhang wasn’t planning to say it out loud.

After listening to the explanation of the small monk, he quietly turned his head toward Venerable White.

Venerable White slightly moved his mouth and said via secret sound transmission, "This small monk has taken too much medium-quality body tempering liquid. It won’t have any effect on him anymore. Only high-quality body tempering liquid will be able to help him."

So, it was really like this! Song Shuhang secretly heaved a sigh.

A loose cultivator would have to go through countless hardships and pay an astonishing price to obtain a little bit of body tempering liquid. On the other hand, sects’ disciples could drink it until it was useless. This was the advantage of having accumulated many resources for many years.

The small monk didn’t notice Song Shuhang’s strange expression and continued in a low voice, "Recently, my master was planning to send me to the thousand-layer immortal prison, a special fire and ice dual-type environment, to increase the speed of my cultivation. I felt that if I really went to that place, my hemorrhoids would get even worse. Therefore, I ran away and decided to have a small surgery to resolve the problem!

I even looked up for a hospital. Minimally invasive surgery, painless, and no relapse!" The small monk had an excited face as he spoke.

Song Shuhang heaved a sigh. Maybe it was really painless, but the part about ‘no relapse’ was just advertisement. Nowadays, advertisements were used to cheat honest people like this small monk.

After heaving a sigh, he asked, "Didn’t you talk about this with your master? Great Master Profound Principle should have means to cure something like this, right?"

"My master is in silent meditation right now. All matters in the temple are managed by master’s junior brother, Religious Discipline Courtyard’s Wondrous Principle. But if I were to ask him, he would surely say: ‘You will be able to transcend hemorrhoids with your willpower. Moreover, this is also part of the training!'" The small monk mimicked Wondrous Principle and said, "Teacher’s junior brother is an ascetic monk."

Ascetic monk: We’re happy to suffer. The more we suffer, the more we can understand the wonders of ‘pain’. Therefore, let your hemorrhoids come! The more, the better!

Song Shuhang’s corner of the mouth twitched. "Did you ask Senior Brother Three Realms about it? If he also had a similar experience, he might a way to deal with it."

"Impossible, it’s too embarrassing! Senior Brother mustn't know about this!" The small monk said firmly. "That’s why I came here to have a surgery. Once it’s done, I won’t have to worry about a relapse. With that, I won’t have to fear that puny thousand-layer immortal prison!"

Song Shuhang gently pinched those fat cheeks and said, "Alright. If you only want to surgically remove hemorrhoids, Jiangnan College Town’s affiliated hospital isn’t half bad. They also perform minimally invasive surgery. Do you want to go there?"

The small monk thought a bit and said, "Alright, let’s give it a try!"

Song Shuhang shrugged and said, "Come, I’ll prepare a room for you. Moreover, you can’t run all over the place, understand? If something were to happen to you, how would I explain it to Senior Brother Three Realms?"

I understand. I won’t cause any trouble!" The small monk Guoguo said cutely.

Song Shuhang nodded— Will the small monk really behave…?

Song Shuhang was after all a good person, and he wasn’t going to decline the request to look after the small monk.

❄️❄️❄️

Once the room was ready, the small monk Guoguo remained inside and sat with his eyes closed. He needed to recover from that four-hours trip at high speed on the flying sword. At this moment, he was exhausted.

As soon as Song Shuhang returned downstairs, Venerable White connected the USB flash drive containing the ❮Immovable Body of the Buddha❯ to the computer’s USB port.

Since it was a supplementary technique of the ❮Basic Buddhist Fist Technique❯, the contents were similar. There were several pictures plus the chant of the technique.

However, since it was just a supplementary technique, there were only two pictures plus the chant.

He used the method Medicine Master taught him when he received the ❮Basic Buddhist Fist Technique❯. He stared at the contents for a while and engraved them in his mind. Afterward, he relaxed and looked at the pictures again, entering into a dreamland where he learned the technique.

Once he had comprehended the ❮Immovable Body of the Buddha❯, Venerable White taught him the battery charging technique too.

For this technique, he also used the power of qi and blood to draw the 雷 character on the palm of his hand, but the procedure was easier compared to the Lightning Palm. Then, he just needed to use it on a phone or notebook that was out of battery.

Once the battery was full, the extra energy would automatically disperse.

Song Shuhang was able to quickly learn the battery charging technique.

However… he felt that this battery charging technique and the one left in the group space by Senior Thrice Reckless were a bit different.

Did Venerable White improve the battery charging technique?

❄️❄️❄️

The next day, July 9th.

Song Shuhang got up very early and opened the door.

He discovered that Senior White was walking back and forth in the corridor.

"Senior White, good morning." Song Shuhang said.

"Good morning, Shuhang." Senior White said with a smile. Then, he cheerfully passed the tablet in his hands to Shuhang, showing him a message.

It was a message from True Monarch Yellow Mountain.

"Venerable White, I’ve already made arrangements for you and little friend Song Shuhang to start flight training. On July 9th, you’ll receive a visit from a professional agent. He will deliver you an II-type certificate of physical conformity and a private pilot license (PPL). Moreover, the agent will escort you to a special airport where you’ll make a trial flight. I wish you good luck! —— True Monarch Yellow Mountain."

Senior White had a smile plastered on his face. He was very happy.

"They’ll send a certificate of physical conformity and a pilot license?" Song Shuhang rubbed his eyes. I haven’t even touched a plane yet, and Senior Yellow Mountain is planning to give me a pilot license directly? Is this really alright?

"Aye. But these are only unimportant details. Let’s quickly prepare!" Venerable White said cheerfully, "In a while, someone will come and bring us to a special airport to make a trial flight! We can’t be late!"

"Sure, Senior. I’ll immediately get ready!" Song Shuhang said to Senior White with a bright smile.

"Good, be quick!" Senior White hummed. Then, he went downstairs while holding the tablet.

Once Senior White was gone, Doudou quietly came forward. He started to vigorously shake his body till a piece of dog fur fell on the floor.

Then, he quietly handed it to Song Shuhang, "Take it. Always keep it with you. It will come in handy if there is an emergency!"

"Doudou!" Song Shuhang was touched. At critical moments, Doudou was very reliable!

Doudou had a serious expression as he used his paw to pat Shuhang’s shoulder. Then, he quietly returned to his room.

After he entered the room, his dog face revealed a human-like smile, "Hehe. Stupid Yellow Mountain, you won’t let me drive a car? Then I’ll go fly a plane!"

After all, it seemed that the dog fur wasn’t really for emergencies…

❄️❄️❄️

Unaware of everything, the pitiful Song Shuhang stored the dog fur with great care. Afterward, he quickly opened the chat.

When he logged in, he received True Monarch Yellow Mountain’s message.

"Little Friend Shuhang, I’ve already made arrangements for you and Senior White to start flight training. On July 9th, someone will come to deliver the certificate of physical conformity and a pilot license. Afterward, you’ll be brought to a place where you’ll learn how to fly a plane. I wish you good luck. —— True Monarch Yellow Mountain."

Song Shuhang replied, "Senior Yellow Mountain, you could have told me this news a few days earlier to let me mentally prepare."

True Monarch Yellow Mountain was online and immediately replied, "Haha. Didn’t I say long ago that I was already making arrangements for your flight lessons? Moreover, it would be quite difficult for you to enter this course with your connections. You should seize the opportunity and not complain!"

"Alright." Song Shuhang heaved a sigh. "But I have a request. Senior Yellow Mountain, please prepare a space suit and a Portable Life Support System for me!"

"What are you going to do with a space suit? Aren’t you just going to fly in the sky?" True Monarch Yellow Mountain asked.

"Senior Yellow Mountain," Song Shuhang said in a serious tone, "I’m gonna take flight lessons with Senior White, and I don’t think it will be limited to the sky. I’m mentally prepared to go into space!"

True Monarch Yellow Mountain: "..."