Born a Monster

314 214 – Failure

Plotline: Main

Type: Social, System

“That was a shameful failure of everything moral and ethical.” Kong Bai told me.

“That was what survival looks like, at least for me.” I said.

“You have used the truth to lie!” he said.

“No, I stated the truth and let them draw their own flawed conclusions.”

“Stating part of the truth and hiding the rest, how is that different than lying?”

“Not all truths need be spoken.” I said. “How is it moral and ethical to keep the secrets of others, but not my own?”

“Have you learned nothing from our time together?”

.....

“I’d say I’ve learned quite a bit from you, Monk Kong.” I said.

[Truthspeaker, level one, 144/300 XP toward level 2, 27 class points available.]

Yes, my rate of experience during that two week training was phenomenal. If I’d had six months, and if he had six months of classes, I could have stayed and made second level.

That’s not where this discussion was heading, of course.

“Why, then, did you choose this deception over fleeing?” he asked.

“I still haven’t completed my Truthspeaker training. If I leave, I still have nothing to prove to the outside world that I am a Truthspeaker.”

He rubbed his forehead, possibly with a headache. “This isn’t about a piece of paper.” he said. “This is about the changes inside of you that make you a moral and ethical person, capable of fulfilling your role in society.”

“Would such a person have just surrendered themselves to the soldiers?”

“Yes, you should have been honest with the soldiers. Then, escape. You could have both your integrity and your life.”

“And if they killed me, as they seemed intent to?” I asked.

“You cannot know that.”

“I know how it seemed.” I said. “I don’t understand why, but whomever sent those soldiers doesn’t care about my intentions or abilities; they want me dead.”

“Can you think of a reason they want you dead?”

“I can think of an estimated two and a half to three thousand reasons people related to the casualties of the easternmost army encampment might want to end my life.”

“But... you said the elemental spirits of earth did that destruction. That the alternative was ... considerably worse.”

I blinked at him. “You think the relatives of those dead soldiers care? It is far easier to kill me than to engage an entire group of earth elementals.”

“I see no reason to kill anyone!” Monk Kong insisted. “Earthquakes are not just some shaking, there is damage and destruction and death, at least as much as they caused in destroying one camp. No crops have been lost, no villages flattened... people forget that earthquakes kill more people than just those who die in the event itself.”

I reached a hand up to scratch under the headband. “And yet, it is often easier to lay blame than to understand.”

“That injustice has nothing to do with the one you perform against yourself.” he said.

“I have concealed myself.” I said. “That was your suggestion.”

“My suggestion was always that you run.”

I decided to try another tactic. “How far south does the island extend, honored elder?”

He snorted. “You claim to be amphibious; this implies that you can swim.”

“How far south does the world go, honored elder? The world is round, is it not? How far can you run away until the only option remaining is to run back toward the danger?”

“Then why do you insist on running from your own misdeed, of using the truth to lie? Just admit that, and we can continue classes.”

“I do not see where I have done anything more or less than choose which truths to speak and which not to.”

“And was the basis of your choice the moral laws, as handed down to us by the Celestial Emperor?”

He referred to the Twelve Laws of Morality and Ethics, a fundamental part of Daurian religion that most people just ignored as something that would be ideal, if only we didn’t live in the real and imperfect world.

“Which of those twelve requires that my life is forfeit?”

“Obedience Toward the Higher Power.” he said.

“In failing to obey that moral himself, Lord Xaodong has lost all call toward moral authority.”

Don’t mouth off to monks; when they slap you, they mean it.

[You have taken six points of blunt damage. 38/80 health remain.]

“You are a Truthspeaker, you tell me I am wrong, if you believe that.”

I had been expecting a second slap. Instead, he just looked at me. It wasn’t an angry look; his eyes, the downward edges of the mouth, Monk Kong was DISAPPOINTED in me.

“It is my fault.” he said eventually. “I had forgotten that you are only three years old. Your mind has not developed enough to accept abstract concepts such as morality.”

“Why? Because I apply the same rules that you taught me, and reach different conclusions?”

“If you applied the same rules, then you could only reach the same conclusion. What you are doing is applying rules in the order that leads to the best answer for you. It is wrong, remember, to judge others.”

“Others seem eager enough to judge me.” I said.

“Yes, but how does their evil excuse yours? I assure you, it does not.”

“Likewise, their evil doesn’t excuse their further evils, such as seeking to kill me.”

“Ping. Your Might score is the highest humanly possible. With Athletics and Running skill, there is no man who can match your speed. You already have an extended fatigue track; so they cannot run so long as you can. If you run, they cannot catch you. They cannot kill you, unless your actions allow that outcome.”

“I’ve already explained why running doesn’t work.”

“Why did you choose to hide, then? By the same logic, you cannot remain hidden as Ping forever.”

“I don’t need to hide as Ping forever.” I replied. “Not unless they posted a guard here to ensure against my return.”

“Ping, do you mean for the monastery to shelter for long? To become complicit in hiding you from your pursuers?”

“Honestly, I’m surprised that you and the other monks have done what you already have.”

He sighed, and looked away. “That is why you are not yet ready for training. You will leave tomorrow at first light.”

Oh, what sissy rule of Daurian society was I stepping on NOW?

But there was no reason to state that. Monk Kong had reached his decision; my classes were over.

I placed my hands before me, and bowed appropriately. “Thank you, honored monk Kong Bai, for attempting to teach this unworthy student.”

He bowed back, responding with neither the traditional farewell or forbiddance from returning. “It would be best for the monastery if Little Monitor were seen in his natural form in the near future.”

“Changing requires a great deal of food.” I said.

“How much food?” he asked.

“Roughly a day’s worth of food, one hundred twenty to one hundred forty nutrition.”

“It will be mostly grains and vegetables, but I think I can persuade the senior monk to part with this much.”

He could; it was a gaunt version of myself that left into the woods that morning. But the monks were generous, providing a four rings staff that needed a new haft, a hempen bag containing flint, steel, tinder, and basic rations of garlic, ginseng, and salt, and a broad brimmed straw hat to keep the sun out of my eyes.

I made toward the south and west, toward Kanbok river, which would lead me duskward in a winding pattern. I even managed to be seen by local woodsmen, who no doubt reported my position to some soldiers. Either that, or they had luck blessed by the Celestial Bureaucracy itself.

Fortunately, the group that “found” me knew nothing of stealth. For half a day, we ran westward through the woods. Then, it was farm after farm, in irregular patchwork, with mud roads between. Before nightfall, I reached the Kanbok, and dived in.

At that point, they would have needed horses of exceptional breed and training to keep up. Though not the mightiest of rivers, the Kanbok had stretches that were wider than an average bow shot across, and broad swaths deep enough to be hidden from the surface.

Literally and figuratively, I was in my element, all the way to Spotted Eel Lake, which had a Water Node present.

[This site is suitable for completion of the following quest: Build a shrine to Sobek, with at least a dozen active practitioners.]

Ugh. As if there were a worse time to complete that quest.

But, with caution, I approached the shore, near to where the fishing boats docked.

Yes, looking back on it, I can now understand the point that Kong Bai was trying to make. And he was right – even today, I am still not willing to accept the teachings of the Celestial Emperor as inherently better than my own experience, provided by the world around me. Whatever forms I physically take, my mind, heart, and soul will never (so sorry) be Daurian.